© The Babylon BeeConfused mourners place flowers on corpse-like Biden at Jimmy Carter funeral
According to eyewitnesses, the mistaken mourners seem to have confused the dead former president with the unmoving, unblinking, statuesque Biden.
"There had been a line going up at the Cathedral to put flowers on Jimmy," said Vivian Glecker, a White House staffer. "And a few of the people in line accidentally stopped to start laying flowers on Biden instead. One of them even tried to close his eyes. It got really awkward after they split up into two lines, with one going to each president to pay their respects. It was touching, I guess, though it took Secret Service kind of a while to sort things out."
Reports from the Washington Cathedral state that the misunderstanding was eventually corrected, though Jill Biden had to be rescued from a partial avalanche of roses that had spilled over from the pile mounting atop Biden.
"It was fitting, in a way, you know?" asked Keith Simmons, a member of the general public who attended the funeral. "Carter always was the sort of guy who could name fifty parts of a flower's anatomy, but never got flowers."
At publishing time, Biden had gotten up to deliver some remarks and accidentally eulogized himself instead of Carter.
What does it mean? We can expect Biden to "pass away" this year and be buried in Delaware. Probably it will occur after a fall going upstairs and then a brief ICU visit.