© The Babylon Bee
"You could still make out the display for tuck-friendly tunics," said Dr. Sally McNeil. "It's clear these perverted rapists were massive Target fans."
According to the Israeli excavators, researchers began searching for a possible Target store after unearthing hundreds of pairs of yoga pants. "We knew we had to be close," said Dr. McNeil. "As soon as we found the sign saying 'Satan Respects Pronouns', we knew we'd found it. Our survey indicates the Sodomites had installed curbside pick-up to the south, and a gender mutilation station for children at the north entrance. It was really a very modern society, not so different from our own."
Further research at the dig site led researchers to believe the heavenly fire that burned up Sodom and Gomorrah may have struck the Target store first. "Everyone says Target smells nice, right up until the point sulfur begins raining from the sky," said team member Adrian Maldonado. "You can only walk around the child-abusing satanist products for so long without knowing that the Lord's wrath must be coming. This looks like it was ground zero. Greed, depravity and violence, all wrapped up with a nice bull's-eye on top for the Lord's fury."
At publishing time, Christians had begun nervously looking to the sky any time they drove too near a Target.
Reader Comments
I thought it was funny.
You got pee-wee kids playing football and I support that - let it be full contact - kids need to learn about real life.
You got targets, you got Target which makes itself a target, you got bud light and you have Elon Musk....hard to make heads or tails out of it all, but Target makes themselves a target by virtue of tuck suits whereas Musk has yet to show for sure what side he is on....so far be it from me to judge the fellow.
Still merit proper shows itself for what it is and time will tell.
Those who practice STS - service to themselves as you say....I suspect soon enough they will learn that is a losing game.
You know.
Let the best ideas prevail is what I think and if Elon Musk is acting in opposition to the "powers that be" even if he is only faking to do that presently, nonetheless, I support his efforts. With that said I think twitter is doomed to failure and more than likely Elon's company I reckon Tesla is as well because if the patents acquired were obtained nefariously, then that does not bode well for the company of Tesla because truly patents obtained upon the death of genius ought be free for all. I think Tesla is overvalued, it has been for along time, but I'm sure musk has already diversified and truly - if he opposes the forces pushing things in the wrong direction, then for the time being, I reckon I support him as if that mattered a whit. It matters to me, but Elon will do as he pleases, but there are stronger forces coming into play and I hope he realizes that.
Einstein was another one.
And AFAIK, even Mozart (despite a very different field) falls into this category.
So, that's what that is for! I can hardly wait!