In My Mother the Psychopath, British writer Olivia Rayne, now 27, reveals how she only realised the extent of her mother's issues as she entered adulthood.
Olivia, whose name has been changed to protect her identity, recalls how her French mother, Josephine, would lock her in the bathroom all night from the age of three as punishment for waking her up by crying.
Joesphine's behaviour was unpredictable and she could switch from being overly loving and generous to violent, beating Olivia, ripping her hair out, strangling her and telling her she was 'ashamed to be her mother'.
'I'm better now, it's true, but the damage done can never be undone. It's still there, itching quietly beneath the surface, like a sharp metal wire cutting into me for too long,' Olivia said.
As a child, Olivia went through stages of being ignored by her mum, who frequently left her alone both emotionally and physically. With few people to talk to, she sought conversation in her teddies or turned to her diary to scribble make-believe stories.
Despite keeping herself out of the way, Olivia tells how she was often screamed at and called 'ungrateful' for the smallest of things.
At first she would cry and shake uncontrollably, but as she grew older she learned to stop giving her mother the reaction she so desperately wanted - and that's when the violence started.
'My Mother the Psychopath' is the disturbing true story of a psychopathic mother by the daughter who survived the terror. Now, she tells her story for the first time
Olivia was hit hard and repeatedly on the bottom or arms, even though Josephine kept promising it would never happen again.
When Olivia turned eight, she recalls being thrown an incredible birthday party. Her mother made decorations and banners for the garden and gifted her a precious silver necklace, but as soon as the last guest had left, her demeanor changed.
Dragging her by the arm, Josephine yanked her upstairs and told her she was ashamed to be her mother. She then ripped the silver jewellery from around her neck.
On another occasion, they spent a cheerful morning together strawberry picking but after arriving home, Jospehine dragged Olivia downstairs to the basement - her back crashing on the cold, hard slabs.
On this occasion, it was punishment for squishing the berries in the basket at the strawberry farm and not treating the fruit with enough respect.
When Olivia reached 12 her mother was diagnosed with leukaemia - but the bullying continued.
During one frightening altercation, Josephine rammed soap in her mouth, put her fingers around her neck and ripped her hair out, until she tasted blood in her mouth.
Fearing for her life, Olivia ran away - but with nowhere to go she had no choice but to return - and apologise.
As time passed, the youngster both hated her mother and loved her, especially when she was taken out for mother and daughter bonding time.
But aged 16, Olivia decided to take a trip to Canada to attend a summer camp.
Extract from My Mother The PsychopathEvery day, her mother bombarded her with texts and emails saying how disappointed she was that she cared so little for her family that she'd moved abroad.
My mother is a psychopath. By definition she lacks conscience, remorse and empathy towards others. Underneath her carefully constructed veneer of charm she is deceitful, manipulative, narcissistic and callous.
She was one person in public and another behind closed doors. She wore different masks depending on her mood and what was useful in that moment, and she flitted effortlessly between her roles like a seasoned actor. Who would she be today? The loving mother? The cancer victim? The trusted teacher? The antagonist destroying my life?
Most people who knew her had no idea that Josephine Lacroix - charming, quirky Josephine Lacroix - could do what she did. Even those she was close to, even my grandparents, never saw the full extent of it.
And of course, her worst moments were juxtaposed by her best, and when Mother was at her best she was brilliant: spontaneous, funny, flirtatious, exciting.
For a long time I tried to rationalise her behaviour, to make excuses for her. It was because she was ill . . . because she was stressed . . . because I was naughty.
It was because I gave up on her, that awful time when I was eight.
Regret chased me, relentless. It was like running down a long and winding dark tunnel; every time I saw the glimmer of light at the end, it swallowed me back into its windowless depths.
It's astonishing, when I look back now, to realise what a good job on me she did. What an excellent job it was. Everything I knew - or thought I knew - about love was warped.
For years I thought control and manipulation were normal in relationships.
She used and discarded me at her leisure, she reeled me in only to cast me off. I was entirely at her disposal, but I willingly went back for more - I had no idea it could be different.
How would I know? It couldn't be bad, what she was doing, because my father was there and he saw, he knew, and he did nothing.
She knew exactly how to play me, and she did it expertly for more than 22 years. For 22 years I couldn't see the truth, and even when it was upon me, I barely recognised it. For 22 years, cold self-loathing flowed through me like blood, and the damage she inflicted distorted me, warping my mind, scarring my body.
I need to go back and tell my own story - the way it was, not the way she told me it was. Time may comfort but it doesn't cure.
I'm better now, it's true, but the damage done can never be undone. It's still there, itching quietly beneath the surface, like a sharp metal wire cutting into me for too long.
Even though I've snipped through the barbs and finally discarded it, the angry red imprint is etched forever into my skin.'
Josephine even emailed the camp leader and told him her daughter had been involved in some upsetting incidents back home and that she shouldn't be left alone with children, which he luckily did not believe.
The following year Olivia fell in love with her then boyfriend Sean, but her mother quickly developed a bizarre relationship with him.
Despite the fact he took drugs and cheated on her, Josephine encouraged her daughter to stick by him.
At one point, she even blackmailed her and offered to pay off the debts and bills he had racked up due to his addiction, on the condition that she took him back.
It was only when she turned 22 that a friend told Olivia he was a 'psychopath' - and so she went and searched the term. As she read the all-too familiar traits, a feeling of coldness ran through her body.
That was the moment she realised that while the psychopath she'd read about was Sean, it defined her calculated mother perfectly.
Now, it's been two years since Olivia has seen her mother - and is happier than ever - she doesn't believe she will ever get over the abuse.
'Even though I've snipped through the barbs and finally discarded it, the angry red imprint is etched forever into my skin,' she said.
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