Rus Nukes
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'What is not in Crimea!'
A Russian MP from Crimea has told RT that Ukraine's fears about nuclear weapons deployment in the republic were groundless and advised those who spread such rumors to take anti-panic drugs.

The comment came from MP Dmitry Belik, who represents the Crimean city of Sevastopol in the State Duma in reply to recent allegations made by Ukrainian Foreign Minister Pavel Klimkin.

"I want to recommend that Klimkin takes this very good anti-panic medication, it is called valerian root, in tablet form. If Ukrainian authorities have not completely ruined their pharmacological industry, this drug must still be available in Kiev drugstores."

The Russian lawmaker also emphasized that regardless of the attempts to demonize Russia taken by certain Ukrainian officials, his country simply had no strategic or tactical reasons for deploying nuclear weapons in Crimea. At the same time he stated that Crimea would be constantly receiving new weapons within the modernization program conducted by the Russian military forces.

If the Ukrainian minister demonstrates such an acute reaction to every stage of this modernization he could soon completely ruin his health, Belik joked.

Another federal Russian lawmaker from Crimea, Ruslan Balbek, described the nuclear weapons placement in Crimea as a very unreasonable move because currently the republic has no carriers for such charges.

"However, the ignorance of Ukrainian diplomats probably allows to place a nuclear warhead on a fighter plane or a patrol boat, maybe even on a tank."

Deputy chair of the State Duma Committee for Eurasian Integration, Viktor Vodolatskiy, described Ukrainian theories about nuclear weapons in Crimea as "inadequate and unprofessional." He also said that Russia had enough territory to place its nuclear arms and did not have to do this in Crimea as the peninsula lacked proper infrastructure.