Muhammed Ali
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A man who literally spent his career punching people in the face is still more popular than any politician you care to mention, according to sources this morning.

After the death of Muhammed Ali at the age of 74 was announced, everyone agreed that he seemed like a lovely man, despite all the punching stuff.

Fan Simon Williams told us, "People might say he pursued a life filled with violence and pain, but I would say that at least he didn't enjoy inflicting it as much as George Osborne or Iain Duncan Smith.

"It's because if Ali was trying to hurt you, he did so with a gloved fist right in front of your face, not through punitive tax and benefit policies decided behind closed doors two-hundred miles away.

"When Ali knocked you down he did so elegantly, with finesse and skill, whereas these politicians do it with all the grace of a rhino charging through a dole office.

"Only one of them was happy to admit that putting you on your arse was their stated aim, while the other tried to make it sound like leaving you on the floor was actually 'helping' you and completely necessary for the rest of us to remain standing.

"Ali was one of a kind; it's a shame we never got to see him punch his way through the cabinet.