© Stian Berg Larsen
I started down a different road this morning, eager to tell you all about how the polysorbate 80 in the DTaP is causing the rising sunflower seed allergy. Have you ever felt patronized by a vaccine article when the author tried to empathize with how "scary" the ingredients list must look to laypeople? In my research I had to stop and look up so many things that now you're instead being treated to a post about everything in the DTaP vaccine, so feel free to enjoy this as much as humanly possible. All ingredients are taken directly from the CDC excipient list, which is still information I'm shocked is even provided to us.

Polysorbate 80: also known as Tween 80, this is an emulsifier used to keep liquids mixed in ice cream, vitamins, and the DTaP, Tdap, Hep A, flu, Gardasil, and meningococcal vaccines. It's made from oleic acid with the trade name "Extra Olein 99." Super news! Extra Olein 99 is made from the garbage disposal of wildflowers: sunflower seeds. The great soil cleaners are known to suck lead right out of the dirt, known to store cancer-causing cadmium and copper in the seeds. In fact, women with breast cancer are told not to eat sunflower seed oil because it causes mammary tumors.

Then there's the added cancer bonus: sunflower seeds are sprayed with Roundup just before harvest. Why are we spraying sunflowers with a weed killer just before picking them? Because we can! Roundup helps dry them out for harvest, and Monsanto got new rules in place to spray for "pre-harvest weeds" so go ahead and douse them and feed it to your kids in their school-sanctioned sunbutter sandwich.

Allergic to sunflower seed oil (or anything it cross reacts with like banana or melon) thanks to the DTaP? Never fear! NOF Corporation, the maker of polysorbate 80, wants to assure you that their Extra Olein 99 product triggers LESS histamine release from mast cells than previous versions (PDF page 51). Thanks for looking out, NOF. Truly inspirational.

The Material Safety Data Sheet for polysorbate 80 says it "may cause adverse reproductive effects." I'm sure the 12% of women in this country who struggle with infertility have something to say about that, along with every woman who has suffered ovarian failure and early menopause after the Gardasil vaccine.

Aluminum phosphate: this gel is used to suck up the the bacterial toxoids in vaccines. It holds onto the toxoid, slowly releasing it once injected, making the body's immune response take longer. You may have heard that aluminum must be safe because it's found in breast milk. Let's get this straight: aluminum is found in breast milk because the women in this country are poisoned from the food and water supply, not because it belongs there. There is no known use for aluminum in the human body.

Here's the handy CDC PDF on aluminum safety where they discuss inhalation, oral consumption, and putting aluminum on the skin. Notice what's missing? Only in a teensy little section do they discuss injecting aluminum hydroxide and aluminum phosphate into rabbits (page 103, "Other routes of exposure"). There they admit that aluminum phosphate has three times the amount of absorption by the body when measured at 28 days compared to aluminum hydroxide. 28 days! Aren't we told that the human body disposes of aluminum within hours?

But the juicy part starts on page 76 of the PDF where it says, "The neurotoxicity of aluminum following oral exposure has been well established in humans with renal insufficiency." That means that they know what it does to people with kidney disease - because they don't bother to study what it does to healthy people. It goes on to name memory loss, fatigue, depression, behavioral changes, learning impairment and dementia. At the bottom of the page they say that aluminum toxicity is marked by confusion, muscle twitching, grand mal seizures, coma and death. Toward the bottom of page 78, in the Alzheimer's discussion, the CDC admits, "Aluminum may play a role in the disease development by acting as a co-factor in the chain of pathological events resulting in Alzheimer's disease." At the two-month appointment one form of aluminum or another is in the DTaP, Hib, Hep B and PC vaccines.

Formaldehyde: usually formaldehyde is used as a resin, like for holding cheap-ass particle board furniture together. In vaccines it's used to kill antigens to inactivate them. In 2011 the National Toxicology Program declared formaldehyde to be a known human carcinogen. Did you read that? It causes cancer. Not probably. Not possibly. They know it, they announced it, and they inject your kid with it anyway. "But Quack," you say. "There's more formaldehyde in a pear." You know what?
Screw that propaganda. I'm sick of the stupid things people say to trivialize concerns about chronic illness in our children. Just because something is natural we should shut up and inject it into our bodies? How about everyone who tells me about pears takes a hefty injection of cyanide? It's a natural product of apple cores. Anyway. Formaldehyde is in almost every vaccine that isn't a live vaccine. At the two-month appointment it's in the DTaP, Hib, Hep B, and Polio vaccines so even if you believe "the dose makes the poison," multiply that dose by a factor of four.

Glutaraldehyde: Unbelievably, this stuff is used to sterilize medical equipment. As in, it kills everything it comes into contact with, and that's diluted to 0.1% strength. In vaccines it's used to inactivate toxins, just like formaldehyde. And you know when you were in school and you needed to stain a slide so everything on it suffers an instantaneous cell death so you can look at it under the microscope? Glutaraldehyde is your guy for that. It's also used to kill warts on the body and for embalming dead people. And! This is the real kicker. It's in fracking fluid. Not good enough for mother earth, but just good enough for your baby.

Phenoxyethanol: this is a preservative from the glycol ether family of chemicals, which are usually found in paint remover and jet fuel. The material safety data sheet for it says it's extremely hazardous if it gets in the eyes, and it causes skin itching and blistering if you touch it. It's toxic to the kidneys, nervous system and liver and don't forget to wear a vapor respirator if you work with it in a lab.

When a nipple cream came out a few years ago using phenoxyethanol as an ingredient, the FDA went ballistic and issued a warning that the chemical can shut down the central nervous system and cause vomiting and diarrhea.

Bottom line: obviously don't eat it, but it's totally safe to inject into the capillary beds of a newborn four times in their first 15 months.

Stainer-Scholte medium, modified Mueller's growth medium, modified Mueller-Miller casamino acid medium (without beef heart infusion): these are all of the nutrient agar plates used used to grow pertussis cells and other bacteria. I'm not having an easy time finding exactly what they're made of, but in general they're the digestive products of proteins with beef extract, and the casamino acid is derived from cow's milk, another top allergen. Here's one Mueller agar made from pea meal, which might shed some light on this peanut/legume allergy epidemic we're in. Page 9 of this catalog lists Muellar agars with sheep blood and horse blood as delicious options. Are peanuts ever used as growth medium? I'm not saying they're in the childhood vaccination schedule, but yes, powdered peanut broth is an excellent growth medium.

Dimethyl 1-beta-cyclodextrin: this is another emulsifier, stabilizer, and antifoaming agent. It's also the key ingredient in the new powdered alcohol and not surprisingly it can affect the liver and urinary systems in large quantities. This study says that beta-cyclodextrins have a nephrotoxic effect when injected, which means poisonous to the kidneys.

Ammonium sulfate: this is an ammonia salt that you might recognize as... fertilizer! In the lab it's used to purify proteins by "salting" them out. The safety sheet for it says that if ingested it can act as a laxative and can cause ammonia poisoning. It can also cause somnolence (that deep sleep some babies fall into after being vaccinated), tremors and convulsions.

There you have it, folks. Turns out those "big scary words" are a living nightmare. Don't ask questions. Just get your damn vaccine.