On Jan. 4 The Free Press was inundated with calls in reference to an explosion near the communities of Pink Hill and Deep Run. While many residents stated they heard and/or felt an explosion, Lenoir County officials say they received no reports of unusual activity.

In the days that followed, many theories made the rounds on Facebook. Some people thought it may have been a meth lab explosion, while others figured it must've been a jet from Seymour Johnson Air Force Base breaking the sound barrier; some folks even theorized that a plane crashed in an unpopulated area.

After nearly two weeks of speculation, detectives with the Deep Run Sheriff's Office are investigating one person they are referring to as a "person of interest". That person is former South Lenoir sports legend Paul Novicky.

"I want to make it perfectly clear that Mr. Novicky has not been charged with anything," said Det. John Munch of the DRSO. "Mr. Novicky has been brought in for questioning, but as of yet no charges have been filed."

Munch said Novicky's credit card bills shows that in the days leading up to the alleged explosion he purchased what could be considered "precursors to manufacturing a weapon."

The following is a list of items that Novicky allegedly purchased between Dec. 31 and Jan. 3:

- Two bags of dried butter beans

- Garlic powder

- Collards

- Cabbage

- Bratwurst

- Corned beef

- Dr. Pepper

"I'd like to stress that there is nothing illegal about owning any of these items," said Deep Run Sheriff Al Giardello."But when you've got a guy buying cabbage, corned beef and Dr. Pepper at the same time, it's a red flag that we have to investigate."

"This is the absolute craziest thing that's ever happened to me," Novicky said as he smiled and shook his head. "I was having some friends over to watch football, and I decided to get some food together. My friends are southern boys, and southern boys like cabbage and collards."

While it's doubtful Novicky will be charged with possession of weapon of mass flatulation, crimes against collards or illegal shaking of a Dr. Pepper, the question still remains: Who or what caused the mystery explosion?

"We've also had reports that a man wearing bib overalls, a turban, and a long beard was seen driving down N.C. 903 with a pickup truck full of collards," Munch said. "If out intelligence is right, the man is question is one LeRoy Bin Laden of Tora Bora, Ga."

In 2009 LeRoy Bin Laden was the mastermind of a failed plot to use collards to blow up a Larry The Cable Guy concert in Duplin County.

"All of a sudden collards were hard to find, and if you could find them they were going for $20/head," Munch said. "This Bin Laden character stockpiled so many collards he single-handedly drove the price up."

Asked how the collard bomb plot was twarted, Munch said each member of the audience was ordered to take a dose of Gas-X before entering the concert.

"There were a few isolated incidents," Munch said. "A couple of burps were fired off, but nothing that caused an substantial structural damage."

Munch believes the "mysterious boom" residents heard on Jan. 4 was the result of a test run gone bad.

"On the evening of Jan. 4, a young man was treated at Deep Run Memorial Hospital for a collapsed septum and chronic watery eyes," Munch says. "The attending doctor said collards and carbonated soda could be smelled on the patient's breath," Munch said. "The back of the young man's pants looked like a badger had clawed it's way out from the inside."

According to a hospital spokesman, the combination of Dr. Pepper and collards detonated while the young man was riding in a car with faulty windows.

"They couldn't get the windows down," said Martin Castillo of Deep Run Memorial Hospital. "One of the men in the car tried to tunnel out through the floor board but he didn't make it."

Jon Dawson's columns appear every Tuesday and Thursday in The Free Press. Contact Jon at 252-559-1083 or jdawson@freedomenc.com. Check out Jon's blog here.