Answer: Ten...

1. One to deny that the light bulb needs changing at all.

2. One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb needs changing.

3. One to blame Bill Clinton for burning out the light bulb in the first place.

4. One to tell the nations of the world they must support changing the light bulb or face eternal darkness.

5. One to give a billion dollar no-bid contract to Haliburton for the new light bulb.

6. One to photograph Bush dressed as a janitor, standing on a ladder under the banner "Bulb Changing Accomplished".

7. One administration insider to resign and reveal that Bush was "in the dark" the whole time.

8. One to viciously smear No. 7 and reveal his name to Robert Novak and Judy Miller.

9. One to campaign on TV and insist that Bush had a strong

light-bulb-changing policy all along.

10. Finally, one to confuse us about the difference between screwing a light bulb and screwing the country.