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These seemingly Orwellian times are testing each and every one of us in some way. It is impossible to escape the increasing sense of dread that many feel during the current Corona Virus outbreak, whether that stems from the threat of the illness itself; from the 'lock downs' imposed upon the populace all over the world to 'keep people safe'; the increasing numbers of unemployed and sick due to the lock down; the systematic attacks upon personal rights meant to enforce 'social distancing'; or the talk of eventually imposing an electronic ID program that uses generalized vaccination as a platform for digital identity. (1)

What I'm going to share here stems from reading and synthesizing a great number of articles from the news and various blogs, and especially personal posts from the forums of those websites regarding the current Corona Virus outbreak and its ramifications. Almost everyone on those threads has contributed material that helped me to crystallize something deep within me that may be useful to share with others. I do want to thank all of these anonymous people for sharing portions of their souls and struggles that resonated very deeply within me.

There is a question many on those forums have asked of themselves lately: if it really comes down to it and things get pushed to - or beyond - the limits of sanity, do I have a 'line in the sand' that I will not allow myself to be pushed past, whatever the cost?

When I encountered that question for the first time I had a very visceral reaction: I first felt overpowering anger, then sadness; then I had a physical, shuddering release accompanied with tears, followed by what I can only describe is an internal resolve that there really is something, or some things, that I will not consent to even if death were the punishment for resisting. But nothing concrete came up for me right away, so I meditated on what it was that caused my reactions.

Over the last few days I realized that I have at least two such lines. The first: if our government (in the USA), whether state or local, rescinded the second amendment and demanded people give up their guns - and then threatened to remove them by force, if necessary - I would resist. This would be a violation of the Bill of Rights; but moreso, it would also be a fundamental violation of the divine right each loving, caring human being has to self-preservation and protection of their loved ones. I would heed the lessons of Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn (Gulag Archipelago) in the face of such tyranny, were it ever brought to my front door:
"And how we burned in the camps later, thinking: What would things have been like if every Security operative, when he went out at night to make an arrest, had been uncertain whether he would return alive and had to say good-bye to his family? Or if, during periods of mass arrests, as for example in Leningrad, when they arrested a quarter of the entire city, people had not simply sat there in their lairs, paling with terror at every bang of the downstairs door and at every step on the staircase, but had understood they had nothing left to lose and had boldly set up in the downstairs hall an ambush of half a dozen people with axes, hammers, pokers, or whatever else was at hand?... The organs of the state would very quickly have suffered a shortage of officers and transport and, notwithstanding all of Stalin's thirst, the cursed machine would have ground to a halt! If...if...We didn't love freedom enough. And even more - we had no awareness of the real situation.... We purely and simply deserved everything that happened afterward." (2)
With that realization I identified the source of some of the anger I felt originally. But there was no sadness with the recognition of that first line in the sand, just a firm resolve. However: I still felt a LOT of anger, as well as that deep sadness, and even helplessness to a degree. There was something even deeper still to dredge up.

Then I remembered what many have been saying about forced vaccinations.

Before I continue, I should give a little personal background information. I have a Master's degree in Microbiology and Genetics. I got that degree while working in a Level II biohazard lab in a doctoral level program. It was an anthrax lab. I worked in concert with the biowarfare division of a prominent National Laboratory. My project was funded by a three-letter agency and was ultimately signed off on by a former high ranking elected official.

While there, I had many experiences that convinced me the biowarfare field was just not for me. I left with a Master's and went back into Environmental Toxicology, the field I still work in presently. But what I learned there was absolutely crucial for my later, and current, understanding.

The anger immediately surfaced when thinking about mandatory or forced vaccinations, along with feelings of righteous indignation. Where did that come from? Was it warranted, I asked myself?

The anger and resolve I felt immediately upon asking myself that question, as well as the waves of disgust that arose (some towards myself), served as a personal positive affirmation: forced vaccinations are an evil more than worthy of resistance, because:

- I believe that I have accumulated enough knowledge and background over the last twenty years of intense study to understand what vaccinations really are: they are a violation not only of the human body, but of personal sovereignty - and especially, this: they are a fundamental, parasitic, intentionally invasive attack not only upon the physical body, but also upon the conscious understanding of how the human immune system actually works. (For an in-depth discussion of the truth of vaccines and what they are - and are not - I highly recommend the book of Dr. Suzanne Humphries, Dissolving Illusions.) (3)

The supposed benefit of vaccines has been deeply ingrained not only within doctors, but through them the masses due to an incremental, systemically enforced indoctrination of medical students who have been forced to learn and regurgitate reams and reams of rote material in lieu of critical thinking and problem solving skills. They then apply what they have memorized to try to solve illnesses without ever actually doing one iota of personal investigation into those who taught them, or how the information they learned was acquired, or how (and by whom) it was accepted as official dogma - or even by asking questions about the failings of their teachings when their 'applied knowledge' can not help their charges.

And these arrogant jerks who think they know better than me want to stick me with their damn vaccinations in order to make sure we are all 'safe' due to this fallacy called 'herd immunity'? What the hell good is herd immunity when the very vaccines you are given make YOU a possible agent of infection?? (4, 5, 6, 7)

Go To Hell

Some more background. I had a very challenging childhood, as many of us do. I was born when my parents were very young. My father did not want me and he never spent time with me. He was also a violent alcoholic. But I learned a lot from that childhood. I learned how to be present in every single moment because I had to be able to tune into how my father felt the entire time that I was around him. I had to know what I must do in order to be 'safe' around him so I didn't get yelled at or beaten. I learned that I could never let my attention waver, not even once, or I would suffer. It was as if I lived on the doorstep of death, forever standing on the edge of the yearning void, and I had to learn how to stand in my own 'I Am' presence in order to stave it off.

So why do I feel so much anger, sadness, and helplessness when considering the possibility that mandatory or forced vaccinations may be coming down the pike?

Because I know what they are, and what the goals of those promoting them are, and that those who would be tasked with forcing them upon us are people who have accepted what they have been told without ever once even questioning what they have been told to believe. But I know also that those same people, had they been presented the truth from the start, would never try to force their will upon us because they are essentially good people. That is what I find so frustrating, and why I feel so helpless. What can one do when those around you are trained not to question anything that they are made to learn? But also this: is the fault really with them? Or with the system that trained them, and those who have made it so?

The anger I feel, however, is real. Because I have spent so much time trying to understand not only vaccines, but reality in general, and how we have all arrived at this time and space.

I have earned what I know. Yet to have a bunch of psychopaths force otherwise caring people to enforce their nefarious agendas upon me, possibly to my death, because they have been made to believe fundamental lies about reality by the corrupted media and education systems which they equate with the gospel of truth? And which they would enforce upon me to all of our supposed 'betterment', when it is really I who knows the real truth because I have put in the time and effort into knowing what it is? And all because these otherwise good people never once thought to question what they were told, even though on some deep level it must have made them uneasy, if they actually had a soul and allowed themselves to feel their way to truth instead of staying locked in their programmed minds?

I will stand against this with all of my being. I will hold the line and stand against the void

And I say this with every bit of feeling that I hold within me.

This is who I Am.

I earned my knowledge. I do not deserve to have to deal with people so fundamentally misinformed, when I know that had times been different they could have benefited from what I have to teach.

Is this what it means to 'grow a soul'? To find a truth so real to yourself that it can not be denied, even to your potential death, were you forced to recant it? Is this like the truth that Giordano Bruno knew that he could not deny or recant before he was burned to death? Because if this is so, then I am there, right now.

I earned this, and I will not be denied my truth, even in death, if it comes to that.

But I also know this: if they do come for me, I will stand as Gandalf stood against the Balrog in the mines of Moria. I will not waver. I will be present in each and every moment. I will try to do better than Gandalf did, and not relax my attention even one moment - which is ultimately what allowed his enemy to take him down with him into the abyss before Gandalf was beyond his reach, as he looked away too soon. But even then: when Gandalf fell, because of who and what he was - he became more than who he had been. He was true to his charges, and to himself, so he returned from the abyss an even better version of who he had been.

I believe that if one can stay ever present in each and every single moment, even in the times of greatest adversity - a way will open; a door will become visible, where one can find shelter and sustenance. I believe this with every fiber of my being. But I also know that to be so vigilant at this level of reality may not be a possibility. But so what: that does not mean it can't be tried. And if you fail? If you have been true to yourself and yours, and been all that you can be, then it doesn't matter. You have crystallized your soul.

There are several lessons that 'Gandalf in Moria' have given me beyond what I just shared:

The first is: my biggest enemy is me.

It is up to me to be present in each and every moment. It is up to me to discern what the truth is, at all times. I must learn to understand and live my I Am' presence, and trust my innate knowingness. If I am always present with my thoughts, I will not betray myself. No enemy can penetrate my space, ever, if I am vigilant - and I am the only one to blame for a lack of same.

But I also know this: no one is ever perfect, especially in this world. To be eternally vigilant is an enormous and impossible task in this reality. I know that I may fail. And it is then that I must master the one thing that I have found hardest to master for myself when that happens: I must learn to forgive myself. Always.

And the last thing I have learned, just recently: I can not expect to ever know all of what I need to know, and what I need to face, by doing it alone. I need to share with others who are on the same path, who are equally vigilant, and who are equally committed to knowing the Truth. And the Truth is what I, and we, must always try to discern, in each and every moment. Always, and forever.

This knowledge, I earned. Yet I do not know if it is complete.

I know I've thrown a lot of I's in the above passages. Especially in regards to saying over and over again that the knowledge that I have, 'I earned'. For some, that might seem like a self-serving endeavor - and it could be - except for this fact: every single thing that I learned for myself, I have tried to share with others. Every single thing.

Remember that video after 9/11 when Colin Powell thrust a vial in the air, saying that it was anthrax and that Iraq had biological weapons of mass destruction, and we needed to go in there to stop them? America invaded Iraq based on those assertions.

After the second invasion of Iraq (the first being the first Gulf War), in the end the only thing that United Nations inspectors found re: 'biological warfare agents' were some vials of Bacillus thuringiensis, an 'anthrax-related bacteria'. Which is true; it is in the same family of organisms (along with Bacillus cereus, often found as a causative agent of food poisoning). But: Bacillus thuringiensis has been used for a long time as an agricultural agent, often sprayed to destroy moths and other insects that infest certain crops. And it is (mostly) harmless to humans in that form. The warmongers in the US and UK never found any weaponized bacteria there; the entire invasion was based on a LIE. But because Bt is related to anthrax, no one cared - even though there was never any threat. (8)

That series of events made me wake up to the lies, and also to my own involvement: I have benefited materially from the 'Iraq has biological weapons' meme, as I got my degree because of the supposed 'Iraqi threat'. I have my current job due to that Master's degree. Believe me when I say this: to this day, I have a hard time looking in the mirror because of this. I am who I am, partially because of a lie. And that is literally very hard to face.

But after that, I did try to share my knowledge about that fiasco with others on-line, and anyone who would listen. I still do that when I can. But in the meantime - around 2012, I became very sick. I went to see a doctor, and they found a precancerous lesion on the back of my throat. Also: I had a hard time keeping food down, and I often had blood blisters appear on my body and in my mouth after eating certain foods.

After eating corn chips one night and noticing that all of the skin on the roof of my mouth sloughed off, I decided to see a Chinese doctor instead of the standard Western variety. She looked at me and told me one thing: stop eating corn. So I did. And I healed, completely. And I started doing some research.

It turns out that GMO corn has had genes coding for bacterial resistance grafted into its genome, and the biggest one is BT toxin from Bacillus thuringiensis - and, it has now been directly implicated in a number of illnesses, especially immune system problems. And now this was affecting me..., my health ruined by Bacillus thuringiensis,

...which was the subject of my Master's thesis.

Talk about a wake-up call.

After that happened I started drilling down into the science behind everything that I had learned, and connecting dots that built up a picture that sickened me. During that time I started to unlearn everything that I thought I knew, which had to be done if I were to ever know the Truth. But I did that, and ever since, I have tried to share everything that I have learned with anyone who was willing to listen. That continues to this day. And I share all that I have learned about not only anthrax, but vaccines, GMO's, and all related things on-line. (9, 10)

So, what now? What can I do, knowing what I do, about this world and how everyday caring people are programmed to believe lies?

Simple. I can pray.

I can pray that those in this world who are of pure love, intention, and soul be made aware of the Truth, in whatever ways that they are willing and able to receive it.

I can pray that the Truth then be presented in forms acceptable to those who would wish to know it in ways that do not violate their free will.

I can pray that all those pure souls of this world that have been deluded, lifetime after lifetime, by negative forces that they receive the truth that their 'better selves' have tried to give to them all along.

I can pray that all the evil that those who have led humanity astray becomes undone, and that the truths that they withheld become available to all willing to see them.

I can pray that all unbalances over the millennia become rectified in the best possible way for all concerned.

And I can also pray that all of us that are now awake and aware of all these imbalances realize that what is happening now, is that humanity as a whole is transitioning away from:

I. Am.

Instead, we are now collectively heading towards a new song of being - and that song goes like this:

I. Am.

We Are.







(6) ; Infectious virus in exhaled breath of symptomatic seasonal influenza cases from a college community

(7) ; Rapid Identification of Measles Virus Vaccine Genotype by Real-Time PCR