Don't Panic! Lighten Up!
Much like the final act in a episode of Scooby Doo, the mystery of the moving neon road guides was actually the work of a mischievous little bird.
Road workers at New Zealand's Milford Sound, a popular destination for sightseers, became increasingly puzzled when traffic cones at the entrance of a one-way tunnel kept moving about when no one was looking.
One sneaky CCTV operation later and the mystery was solved. In the cutest possible way.
Sun, 27 Nov 2016 15:54 UTC
Such accusations were leveled after cosmonaut Andrey Borisenko said that the Earth was round during one the 360° video documentaries, which were recorded on the International Space Station (ISS), in collaboration with RT.
After a six-month study of the policies adopted by many high-profile, successful people, it was discovered that not only was honesty no longer the 'best' policy, in many cases, it was proved to be spectacularly harmful. Lead researcher Dr Simon Williams explained, "Honesty has long been believed to be the best policy, but 2016 has shown that other policies can bear significant fruit.
"The entire Brexit campaign, Donald Trump, the bastards that make Toblerone - there's not an honest bone amongst them, but they've all flourished enormously.
"So my team and I took to studying which policies actually work, and where honesty should realistically sit in the overall list of potential policies.
"Honesty is now in eighth place, just behind 'misdirection' and 'outright denial'.
"The best policy is 'make something up', with the more outrageous the lie, the more successful it will be. Things like 'I will put Hillary in prison' or 'Let's give £350m a week to the NHS', for example."
Williams explained that they also looked into situations where a lack of honesty can be particularly beneficial. He continued, "We found that the more high-profile you are, or the greater the societal influence your statement will have, the more important a lack of honesty becomes.
"If you're telling your wife you were working late when you were actually in the pub watching the football with your mates, you'll likely be caught and punished.
"But if you lied to an entire nation about the benefits of voting to leave an economic and political union, something that will affect people's lives for the next twenty years, you'll probably be revered and make friends with the most powerful billionaire on the planet, before getting a cushy new job to go with it.
"Honesty no longer pays, at all. Sorry."
Wed, 23 Nov 2016 22:09 UTC
Alfred Mikus posted the images with the comment: "They parked Lenin in Stalin Line."
Saturday Night Live
Tue, 22 Nov 2016 22:02 UTC
The Daily Sheeple
Mon, 21 Nov 2016 13:53 UTC
What's going on? Isn't SNL typically leftists mocking conservatives? Did someone cross the streams and now were in another dimension or...?
Well, whatever, this is hilarious:
When Conservative MP Michelle Rempel accused the government of treating the province of Alberta "like a fart in the room" over jobs, Green Party leader Elizabeth May took exception.
However, it was not the accusations of inaction which riled Ms May.
"I heard her say a word I know is distinctly unparliamentary, and I think she may want to withdraw it," the shocked Ms May said.
"The word was f-a-r-t," she continued, spelling it out clearly so as not to repeat the offending term.
Waterford Whispers News
Sun, 20 Nov 2016 18:12 UTC
The Investigatory Powers Bill, which was passed on Thursday with little or no media coverage, would, among other measures, require websites to keep customers' browsing history for up to a year and allow law enforcement agencies access to help with investigations.
"Sure, why would we bother reporting on the biggest invasion of privacy in the history of the British state?" posed Daily Mail journalist Mark Smith, who was too busy working on World War 3 with Russia articles, "I've also got to get four Kardashian pieces out for Monday morning that are guaranteed thousands of shares.
No one is going to bother reading about silly old government snooping and hacking".
The bill gives legal footing to existing powers such as the bulk surveillance and bulk hacking of computers and mobile phones, and allows police and intelligence agencies access to masses of stored personal data, even if the person under scrutiny is not suspected of any wrongdoing.
"Jesus this stuff sounds really boring and dated, to tell you the truth," pointed out The Sun editor, Tony Gallagher, whose newspaper has on many occasions reported false truths in the past,"Our main goal this week is to tackle this fake news phenomenon. All our journalists are too busy compiling a list of the fake news sites to warn people. No one wants to hear about totalitarian-style surveillance powers - the most intrusive system of any democracy in human history".
For more on this unimportant bill, click HERE.
Tue, 15 Nov 2016 20:40 UTC
The "white" problem has been a topic of much debate in the Native American community for centuries, and community leaders have decided the time has come to properly address it.*
Daily Currant reports, "At a meeting of the Native Peoples Council (NPC) in Albuquerque, New Mexico yesterday, Native American leaders considered several proposals on the future of this continent's large, unauthorized European population.
The elders ultimately decided to extend a pathway to citizenship for those without criminal backgrounds."