Comment: Yes, it's apolitical. And, yes, it's hilarious! Enjoy (if you haven't seen this very viral video already)!
This guy just loves his corn! Some would even say he's the CEO of corn! He's a real cornboy. Corn!
Don't Panic! Lighten Up!
Comment: Yes, it's apolitical. And, yes, it's hilarious! Enjoy (if you haven't seen this very viral video already)!
This guy just loves his corn! Some would even say he's the CEO of corn! He's a real cornboy. Corn!
© Waterford Whispers News
Here's everything you need to know about Liz Truss:
Is Britain's third successive female leader to prove it's not only the men that can be detached sociopaths who pride themselves on telling impoverished people that actually, everything is just fine.
Is ideologically opposed to handouts that don't go directly to her in the form of MP expenses.
Solutions to rising energy bills in a harsh winter have included stockpiling frozen pensioners and burning them in a fire for warmth.
Worked for Shell, and thinks building more wind turbines to offset reliance on foreign fossil fuels is worse than murder, so the climate is in safe hands.
Not a fan of the European Court of Human Rights, so if any Britons are planning on being the victim of a grave injustice such as killing by police, war crimes, extra-judicial deportations or human trafficking - now's the time to do it while you're still protected by the law.
© Awaken with JP/YouTube
© The Babylon Bee
"The state has been inundated with an influx of U-Hauls because of all the Californians leaving their state," said Henry Gugelface, lead engineer of the Texas border wall project. "We were hesitant to send the trucks back to California because we are so tired of Californians. Utilizing the excess U-Haul trucks for the border wall killed two birds with one stone!"
The new stretch of border wall fills in gaps east of El Paso where migrants have been traveling into the country by the thousands. Now, though Hispanics have been braving an unforgiving desert landscape and river water to reach America, they are finding themselves stopped cold by a pile of U-Haul trucks haphazardly thrown together.
"Nothing can penetrate our great wall," Gov Abbott told members of the press. "It's been so successful that we're considering building a wall around the entire state just to keep other Americans out. Yeah, boy! Yee haw!"
At publishing time, shares of Budget Truck Rental's stock have surged as Californians resort to U-Haul alternatives in a desperate attempt to leave their state behind.
Thunberg originally made headlines in August 2018, when she, at age 15, began protesting outside of the Swedish Parliament on Fridays when she was supposed to be in class. She called for the government to take stronger actions to fight climate change by holding up a sign reading "Skolstrejk för klimatet" or School strike for climate.
Thunberg began rallying similar protests in other communities, organizing a school climate strike movement called Fridays for Future. After Thunberg addressed the United Nations Climate Change Conference that same year, school strikes began taking place all over the world. In 2019, there were multiple coordinated multi-city protests involving over a million students each.
Comment: Now that she's the age where she should have graduated, can we really say she's still on a school-strike? Isn't she just unemployed now?
© The Babylon Bee
"It's impossible to overstate just how close we came to losing our fully armed and operational Washington D.C.," said FBI Director Wray. "A direct hit from an AR-15 on the thermal exhaust port on the southeast corner of the White House roof would set off a chain reaction that would destroy the entire District of Columbia."
Sources also claimed that since Trump's sons had extensive experience bulls-eyeing baby elephants in Africa that are no larger than 2 meters, it was only a matter of time before "insurrectionist scum" made a move to destroy the entire facility.
"Just think — Washington D.C. could have been destroyed!" said Director Wray. "The FBI just saved Washington D.C.!" Reports confirmed that FBI approval plunged another 12 points after Wray's statement.
At publishing time, sources confirmed that Trump also had possession of the One Ring, which is now being safely returned to the nation's capital.
"You gotta play 4D Chess with these teachers," said Mr. Conners. "I'm hoping this trick will ensure our son is still a son at the end of the school year."
Sources say thousands of parents around the country are employing tricks to protect their impressionable youngsters from gender indoctrination and grooming — including cross-dressing their kids, attaching microphones to listen in to student/teacher conversations, and even homeschooling.
"Sending kids to school these days is like throwing chum to a frenzy of hungry sharks," said Mrs. Connors. "They don't even learn math and reading anymore. Now that I think about it, why are we even still doing this school thing? I forget."
At publishing time, the boy's teacher — who thought he was a girl — groomed him back to being a boy. Unfortunately, the boy now identifies as "two-spirit."
© WBGH.org
- It is hot. - If you go outside and it's a bit toasty, you can't deny it any longer: the climate is changing.
- It is cold. - If you go outside and it's a bit nippy, you can't deny it any longer: the climate is changing.
- It is raining. - Rain is absolute proof of climate change.
- It is not raining. - A lack of rain is absolute proof of climate change.
- It's a pleasant day. - A nice day outside? In Minnesota? CLIMATE. CHANGE.
- It's not a pleasant day. - A not-so-nice day outside? In California? CLIMATE. CHANGE.
- It's snowing. - It has literally never snowed before cars were invented. Climate change!
- It's not snowing. - It has literally never not snowed before cars were invented. Climate change!
- It is summer. - When it's summer, it's hot, proving the climate is changing.
- It is winter. - When it's winter, it's cold, proving the climate is changing.
© Waterford Whispers News
Elizabeth Windsor, one of the worst land horders in all of the UK is understood to be living alone in the 775 room, 240 bedroom building which if sold could go some way to easing the accommodation woes of many Londoners.
A letter seen by WWN addressed to Miss Windsor implores her to vacate her 240 bedroom mansion and consider a nice duplex in a retirement community outside Brighton among other options.
"It is incumbent of the council to point out that no 96-year-old needs that much fucking room. While we understand your claims that your children are like leeches and would be lost without you, selling the property and downsizing could also provide them with a small windfall," read one of the nicer sections of the letter.
© RONALD PATRICK/GETTY IMAGES
"I've been paying attention to see whether reports of Mandela Effects might increase, now that CERN's Large Hadron Collider fired back up again," Larson, the author of Reality Shifts and Quantum Jumps, told Motherboard. "So far I've not yet noticed large-scale reports of new Mandela Effects in the past day or so, though it does seem there is a large and growing interest in the Mandela Effect."
CERN has noticed.
Comment: Bonus Bee!