Don't Panic! Lighten Up!
"Seriously Jill, what's going on here? This isn't a joke!" cried an outraged Biden to a nearby potted plant that looked somewhat like Jill Biden. "Why is everyone asking me about documents? What kind of an office has walls with no corners? WHERE IS BARACK?!"
Aides then began their morning ritual of briefing the President on the details of the scandal as well as the scheduled meetings for the day and who Joe Biden is. "Sir, they found more documents in locked in your garage," said one advisor. "Are there any other documents we should know about?"
"...Sir? What is that you have in your hand? Sir?"
Aides then tackled the President and pried a piece of paper marked "Top Secret" out of his hand just as he attempted to stuff the whole thing in his mouth.
At publishing time, the scandal erupted again after Biden was seen blowing his nose into another classified document.
Reader Comments
My conclusion is that the Biden we see is an actor wearing a mask. Why would they make him look so stupid? The only answer that I can see is it makes him the perfect fall guy for diverting the anger of hyperinflation, plandemic, the Southern border. The "fall guy" means no one behind or above him is identified.
I do agree that the public is being entranced to believe that the public/private partnerships are absolutely necessary for safety and security, and indeed that is fascism.
January 13, 2023 - BabylonBee.com
Yet Another Stash Of Classified Documents Discovered During Biden’s Colonoscopy
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The White House is on edge this morning after investigators revealed a fourth stash of classified documents from Biden's tenure as Vice President was found deep in his colon.
"This morning a routine colonoscopy revealed hundreds, possibly thousands of partially chewed top-secret documents crammed in the President's digestive tract," said White House physician Kevin O'Connor. "It seems many of them were eaten, while hundreds of others were inserted rectally by an unknown party or Biden himself. We have handed over all partially-digested documents to the Special Counsel in charge of the investigation. Now if you'll excuse me, I think I need a shower."
Officials are at this point unclear whether the documents were ingested on purpose or swallowed inadvertently, as sources say President Biden has always had a folksy, endearing habit of putting random things in his mouth and swallowing them.
At publishing time, doctors had confirmed the colonoscopy also turned up another hard drive linked to Hunter Biden.