According to Russian media, Dmitry was a very controlling man who would allow his wife very little time for privacy. He had unrestricted access to her emails and text messages, and controlled when and whether she would meet friends. He also had a short temper, but reportedly had enough self-control to not become violent.

In 2016, Margarita's paid maternity leave came to an end and she started working. In about a year or so, Dmitry seemed to grow distant and cold, so much so that Margarita told her mother she suspected he was having an affair. There was no proof, however.

In October, after Dmitry started spending nights elsewhere, Margarita told him she was thinking about filing for divorce, which he seemed to take in stride.

But apparently, Dmitry did not much care for the idea. He became extremely suspicious about Margarita's contacts. A man she worked with became the focus of his jealousy, especially after she started deleting text messages from him. In reality, he had children about the same age as the Grachevs', so Margarita occasionally took her children to spend time with his. On at least one occasion, Dmitry beat his wife during a quarrel about this co-worker, but she didn't report the assault.
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On December 1, he took her to take a lie detector test with a private specialist, apparently seeking validation of his paranoia.

The results of the tests were inconclusive, and their accuracy remains questionable even now, since the person who conducted it fled after finding out about his client's crime. But even if Dmitry had been told his wife didn't cheat on him, it may not have mattered. Even before receiving the papers, he started preparing the attack - learning how to stop bleeding after a traumatic loss of limbs, buying medical and other supplies, and studying ways to mitigate his eventual sentence.

On December 11, Dmitry kidnapped his wife for the second time. He drove her to the same spot as the previous time, tied tourniquets on her arms, forced her to place her hands on an improvised chopping block, and started striking at them with an axe. He was apparently raging with emotion, because he continued by hitting Margarita several times on her legs, crying: "If you are not mine, you'll be a cripple," according to her police testimony. He then dragged her to the car and repeated over and over "what a rush" on the way to hospital.

Doctors managed to attach Margarita's left hand, which police found at the crime scene. It was badly damaged and is nowhere near healthy. The right hand, unfortunately, could not be saved. Margarita now uses a prosthetic. As the trial was underway, she divorced him and successfully petitioned to deny Dmitry custody over their children. He reportedly argued against this decision, saying it denied him a mitigating factor he needed for the sentencing.

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