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Thu, 21 Jun 2018
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Vader

Newly announced 'Space Force' will operate from giant spherical space station

Death Star
© News Thump
President Trump has revealed that the 'space force' which he has instructed the Department of Defense to create will operate from a massive spherical space station, capable of destroying an entire planet.

Addressing White House reporters yesterday the reality TV star proclaimed, "The Space Force will provide a whole new level of defence for America, and to a lesser extent the other countries on our planet, and will lay down the space law so other species know not to mess with us.

"Especially the Space Mexicans. They're the worst. Terrible aliens, terrible. It's never the good ones that want to come here."

He added,"I think we will build a giant spherical space station, which will look at first glance like a moon, but trust me - it's no moon.

Comment:

Trump wants to create military 'Space Force' to gain 'American dominance' in space


House

'Good morning! Got any honey?' Bear breaks into California home through window

bear lake tahoe
South Lake Tahoe - New video shows a bear breaking into a South Lake Tahoe home on Wednesday.

The homeowners Sykes and Carole Scofield have been living in South Lake Tahoe for more than 20 years.

And they couldn't believe how the enormous creature could fit through the window, although they hadn't locked it.

They weren't home when the bear paid a visit.

You can see in the video that the bear left some marks on the side of the house.

Thankfully, no one was injured...


Smiley

Reddit user pokes major hole in Flat Earth 'logic' with a camera and a basketball

flat earth
© Yuriko Nakao / Reuters
A Reddit user has poked major holes in flat-Earther 'logic' with a clever - and easy-to-replicate - experiment deploying a digital camera with a macro lens, plenty of light... and a basketball.

Posted on Reddit by user Useless Pickles as 'Proof that a basketball is flat', the detailed experiment depicts the object as flat-surfaced and not the round ball we all believe it to be.

He played around with perspective and close-ups to make his point. "Upon taking a closer look with a macro lens, I can only conclude that the surface of a basketball, while bumpy, does not appear to have any curvature. Therefore, basketballs are flat. Their roundness must be some kind of illusion caused by perspective and mirages," Useless Pickles wrote sarcastically.

Take 2

'Only in Florida': Alligator rambles across airport runway, shocking passengers

Alligator eye
© Reuters
Passengers onboard a plane landing in Florida were reportedly delayed by a plucky alligator, who was spotted crossing the tarmac at Orlando International Airport.

The bizarre close encounter happened on Monday, according to one passenger, who explained how a Spirit Airlines aircraft, flying in from Washington DC, was "held up" because of the wandering reptile.

"Only in Florida... a gator held up our plane crossing the runway on the way home from DC. Just another adventure," Anthony Velardi posted on Facebook.

According to Orlando's News 6, the alligator was eventually coaxed into a local pond and the airplane made it safely to the gate.


Eiffel Tower

Daring raccoon captivates the internet by scaling St. Paul skyscraper

St. Paul racoon
© WTHR
A daring raccoon captured the hearts of many social media users around the world as he climbed a skyscraper in St. Paul, Minnesota, and lived to tell the tale.

The furry creature began his harrowing climb after maintenance workers took the animal off the roof of another office building in the city. But the raccoon, who could not be deterred, set its sights on scaling the UBS tower, one of the tallest buildings in St. Paul.

As more people began to see the furry creature's exploits on social media, one person got creative and started a Twitter account on behalf of the raccoon.


Light Saber

Respect the slipper: Crimean safari park director uses footwear to discipline misbehaving felines

Crimean safari park directors lion taming
© Oleg Zubkov / YouTube
Zubkov, who runs the Taigan Safari Park in Crimea, has apparently perfected the art of slipper-throwing. In a video, uploaded to YouTube on June 2, Zubkov is seen intervening in a dispute between two lionesses and using his slipper to restore peace to the park.
The director of a Crimean safari park has developed a powerful weapon for maintaining order among the park's pride of lions - his slipper. A viral video shows Oleg Zubkov using his footwear to break up a (big) cat fight.

Zubkov, who runs the Taigan Safari Park in Crimea, has apparently perfected the art of slipper-throwing. In a video, uploaded to YouTube on June 2, Zubkov is seen intervening in a dispute between two lionesses and using his slipper to restore peace to the park.


Black Cat 2

Cuddly oracle cat makes prediction on outcome of World Cup opening match

cat predicts world cup
© Sputnik
SusSushi the cat predicts World Cup game outcomes
She sleeps for over 15 hours a day but when Sushi the cat wakes up to play and chase invisible entities around the house, she also enjoys watching football and predicting game outcomes.

It was Paul the Octopus in 2010 who became famous when he correctly predicted all the matches of the German team during the World Cup in South Africa. With the World Cup 2018 about to kick off in Russia, there is a new fluffy player in the psychic game.

A UK resident, Sushi was given a choice between two boxes, marked after the two teams opening the tournament on June 14.


Smiley

Starbucks 180,000 employees radicalized after anti-bias training - 'Coffee cultivation merely extends the system of colonial oppression'

barista
Irrevocably changed after attending a mandatory training session on racial bias, the nation's Starbucks employees reportedly returned to work Wednesday radicalized and united behind a new credo stating that "coffee cultivation merely extends the system of colonial oppression."

"Welcome to Starbucks, you fucking bourgeois pig," said barista Alexandra Balvin, delivering the greeting in lockstep with 180,000 Starbucks workers across the nation who were suddenly sporting camouflage-printed aprons, hanging up Che Guevara posters, and writing "Imperialist Swine" or "AmeriKKKan" on customers' coffee cups.

"Can I interest you in one of our Ultra Caramel Frappuccinos? The coffee is all sourced from oppressed bean pickers exploited by the same capitalist forces that allow you to spend on a single beverage what they make during an entire week of grueling physical labor. Don't feel pressured to buy anything, though. You're welcome to just sit at a table or use the bathroom to wash the blood of the working class off your hands."

At press time, sources confirmed baristas at approximately 8,000 Starbucks locations were overturning tables and throwing them through plate-glass windows to notify customers that stores would be closing in 15 minutes.

Smiley

Sage Chinese police advice on how to survive a knife attack

chinese police officers
© Aly Song / Reuters / File
A video posted by Chinese police offering advice on how to deal with a potential knife attack has gone viral for its straight-talking but humorous content.

The 12 second clip begins with a message from a seemingly earnest police officer.

"Today we will be teaching you how to deal with a knife wielding assailant," the officer says firmly as fellow police stand behind him.

A man with a knife then approaches the officer, who responds by running away and screaming loudly; "Help!! Police officer!!"

The comical video hammers home the message that people should run away and seek the help of law enforcement if they are confronted by a knife attacker.

The clip which has garnered more than 16 million views, according to New China TV, was created by the Longyang District Branch of police based in Baoshan City of the Yunnan Province.


Arrow Down

"Pothole Killer" falls into sinkhole in Niagara Falls, New York

sinkhole
© RobShots
A sinkhole halted a piece of large equipment ironically dubbed a "Pothole Killer" at 18th and South Streets in Niagara Falls on Thursday.

There were no injuries, Niagara Falls Police have confirmed.

They are working to get the truck out of the sinkhole.

The "Pothole Killer" belongs to a Pennsylvania-based service which the City of Niagara Falls contracts with to fill potholes.