Don't Panic! Lighten Up!
Thu, 23 Mar 2017 14:37 UTC
Moos kauen ["Chewing moss" like a Moscow dateline --tr]: This is the hammer! NATO could never have expected such an asynchronous low blow! This is equivalent to a declaration of war before 1 April! And it has caught the North Atlantic Terror Organization completely flat-footed.
No, the Russians have not choked off the air for murder and manslaughter to NATO, but to their own military. From now on, they want about 25 percent less for this nonsense. This unique measure has made for completely perplexed faces in the western military forces, which they either perceive as vicious cunning or hot air, as can be seen in the jet exhaust in the above picture.
The security situation has become so mixed that the West is considering increasing armament spending by at least as much as the Russians pare it down. It contradicts every logic of a good enmity, simply wanting nothing more to do for the eclat. Can even the most doofus enemy be so doofed? But let's try to collect the facts first and read on to this enmity: Aggression light: Russia shortens its military by more than 25 percent ... [RT-Deutsch]. Undoubtedly, the bread can be used for some better purposes but for the Russians. This is disturbing.
Mon, 20 Mar 2017 16:43 UTC
Famous banker and lizard king David Rockefeller has passed away at the age of 101.
According to reports, doctors were not able to perform an eighth orphan-heart transplant in order to save his life. Yes, David died of heart problems, which obviously means he was assassinated by Vladimir Putin.
But why would Russia's president want Rockefeller dead? This chart explains everything:
Thu, 17 Jul 2014 15:16 UTC
The broad and extensive compromise, which affects more than 3,000,000 square miles formerly occupied by the territories of Israel, the West Bank, Gaza, Syria, Iraq, Iran, Saudi Arabia, Lebanon, Oman, Yemen, Egypt, and Jordan, will reportedly draw over 750,000,000 new borders in what experts claim will help drastically curb sectarian violence.
"Given the incredibly complex and volatile sociopolitical landscape throughout the Middle East, a 317,000,000-state solution is the only realistic means of achieving lasting peace," said U.N. Security Council president Eugène-Richard Gasana, noting that the treaty was reached after lengthy negotiations, which brought together each of the more than 300,000,000 independent factions. "We are pleased to finally come to an agreement that will hopefully stabilize the entire region and adequately satisfy the demands of all parties."
"We are confident that with every man, woman, and child possessing his or her own autonomous area of sovereignty to run as he or she sees fit, we will avoid many of the conflicts that have plagued this part of the world for centuries and left countless dead," Gasana added. "This is a bright new future for the Middle East."
Fri, 17 Mar 2017 22:21 UTC
Long gone are the days of wasteful military expenditures and no-bid contracts to build airplanes and aircraft carriers that neither fly nor float.
The permanent wartime economy that was never dismantled after World War II is ancient history. There is simply no longer any justification for spending many gazillions of dollars each year on Raytheon space lasers. In the United States, jet fighter factories now manufacture lawn mowers and Segways.
We are living in good times. Sensible times.
But all that we've accomplished over the last 25-odd years is now being threatened by one man.
From Baltimore to Baghdad, people cry out: "who will stop Vladimir Putin from conquering the world?"
Yes, Russia's czar has imperial ambitions — global ambitions. He wants war. He needs war.
Sun, 12 Mar 2017 23:21 UTC
The Daily Sheeple
Fri, 10 Mar 2017 18:06 UTC
Waterford Whispers News
Wed, 08 Mar 2017 19:07 UTC
"Are you fuckers sitting down, 'cus we're about to blow your mind," a WikiLeaks spokesperson asked in a statement before sharing the biggest leak in the CIA's history, which confirmed almost everything that people previously suspected the CIA of doing.
The leak, labelled 'Vault 7' by WikiLeaks, reveals the methods used by the CIA when hacking phones and other electronic devices. The fallout from Vault 7 has already led experts to shrug their shoulders and declare "yup, we figured they were doing that".
Based in Virginia, the CIA has a long history of taking a softly softly approach to intelligence operations by instigating and aiding coups in Guatemala, Iran and countless other countries as well as selling weapons to terrorist organisations.
Despite such an illustrious history, some members of the public doubt the evidence contained in Vault 7.
Mon, 06 Mar 2017 21:07 UTC
Nicknamed "Momma Moose", Woods said she has been visiting his home for over two years around the same time each morning and described her as "sweet" and "very curious."
This footage recorded on March 3, shows the moose playing with the tire swing in his backyard.
Comment: Tire swings are apparently fairly popular among moose!
Meet the 94-yo grandmother who has practiced martial arts for 9 decades and can probably still kick your butt
Mon, 06 Mar 2017 00:00 UTC
Despite being nearly a century old, Zhang Hexian is more flexible and lithe than most youngsters you'll meet. That's because the 94-year-old, fondly known as "Kung Fu Grandma," has been practicing martial arts since she was four years old.
Never giving up on the sport, the has honored the discipline through practice for over nine decades. Hexian is a resident of Ninghai County in east China's Zhejiang Province, where many esteemed elders practice kung fu. Inspired to keep her body and mind in top shape, she undergoes a daily fitness regiment to stay tough.
Washington Post not only establishes link between Trump and Russia, but also Subway spokesman, cat playing piano, and the lizard queen
Sat, 04 Mar 2017 23:25 UTC
But they're not the only news outlet that knows how to use MS Paint. We made some slight improvements: