Don't Panic! Lighten Up!
The shirts have upset the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Not only is Moroni a revered figure - Mormons believe he appeared to church founder Joseph Smith - but LDS members are discouraged from drinking coffee.
Prof. Brainstorm Quantum of The University Of Europe, a leading expert on knowledge, explained "we are working on some devices which will be able to do things which can't be done now. At this very moment, a group of us are experimenting with at least five contraptions and a gizmo, and hope to have a working model of a sort of machine up and running by next year. Maybe."
Tom Weber, a 22-year fire veteran, was put on administrative leave nine months ago after he was accused of asking an online psychic on a department computer whether he and others would be successful in removing Middleton's fire chief.
Exner, 68, said he and his wife Shirley scoured his bedroom after the dentures disappeared from his night stand.
"We moved the bed, moved the dressers and the night stand and tore the closet apart," he said. "I said, 'I knew that little stinker stole my teeth' - I just knew it."
Luka Karlovic, 70, arrived at a kindergarten in Zagreb to pick up his five-year-old grandson Petar.
But when an employee called for the boy to come and meet his grandfather another Petar stepped forward, and Karlovic drove off with him.
According to scientific estimates, the methane gas produced by cows is responsible for 4% of greenhouse gas emissions. And now, German scientists have invented a pill to cut bovine burping.
The fist-sized plant-based pill, known as a bolus, combined with a special diet and strict feeding times, is meant to reduce the methane produced by cows.
The only catch is that to enjoy them, you have to be dead.
The luxuries that Miss Wang sells are paper versions, traditionally burnt by Chinese as offerings to the dead in the hope that their presence will ease the travails of the afterlife.
In the old days, all that the dead could hope for was paper "heaven money", or perhaps a bit of food. But with economic growth, variety and quality are matching the ambitions of China's new rich.
Comment: They should feel right at home.