Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S

Monkey Wrench

Pakistani Husband Accused of Being Woman

LAHORE, Pakistan - Police on Sunday arrested a couple who are accused of lying to a Pakistani court about the gender of the husband, who was born female and had sex reassignment surgery 16 years ago.

Penis Pump

NBC to Donald Trump: "You're Fired!"

Donald Trump, whose low-rated reality show "The Apprentice" was left off the new prime-time schedule unveiled this week by NBC, says the network can't fire him -- he quits.

Comment: LOL! Consummate narcissist!

Comment: This all raises the obvious question: Who cares?!?


Granny grows horn?

A Chinese grandmother has a five inch horn growing out of her forehead.



Nude Carwash: The Devil is in the Detailing

CANBERRA - A nude car wash offering an X-rated sideshow and topless cleaning in Australia's tropical Queensland state has been given the all-clear after police and officials said they were powerless to scrub it.


World's Largest Historical Shipwreck Coin Recovery Produces Record 17 Tons of Silver Currency

Odyssey Marine Exploration (AMEX: OMR), the world's leader in the field of deep-ocean shipwreck exploration announced today that it has completed the pre-disturbance archaeological survey and preliminary excavation of a Colonial period shipwreck site code-named "Black Swan" in an undisclosed location in the Atlantic Ocean.

The artifacts recovered from the site include over 500,000 silver coins weighing more than 17 tons, hundreds of gold coins, worked gold, and other artifacts. All recovered items have been legally imported into the Unites States and placed in a secure, undisclosed location where they are undergoing conservation and documentation.

It is believed that this recovery constitutes the largest collection of coins ever excavated from a historical shipwreck site. They were recovered in conformity with Salvage Law and the Law of the Sea Convention, beyond the territorial waters or legal jurisdiction of any country. The Company does not believe that the recovery is subject to sovereign immunity by any nation pursuant to the Law of the Sea Convention.


School Gets Mysterious Marijuana Package

KENT, N.Y. - A school principal received a surprise delivery of 12 pounds of marijuana from a mysterious sender whose address was traced to a vacant lot in California, police said.


UK Grandmother Fined For Dropping Quavers

This Evil must be stamped out (but remember to pick up the pieces and put them nicely in your pocket)

A grandmother has been fined £80 - for dropping two Quavers on the pavement.

Red-faced officials later apologised for issuing the on-the-spot fine, blaming it on "overzealous" council wardens.

Magic Wand

Sailor rescued by neighbour - 6,500 km from home

British sailor who was adrift in the Caribbean for two days without food was shocked when his mayday was answered - by a neighbour.

Bizarro Earth

Limousine Passenger Robs Bank

Evonne Maurice apparently wanted to get away in style. The 22-year-old pleaded guilty yesterday in federal court to trying to rob a bank at a drive-up window while traveling in a hired limousine.

Authorities said Maurice had a limousine take her to a Citizens Bank branch in Cranston and told the driver she needed to withdraw cash to pay for the ride. Then she walked up to the window and handed the teller an envelope with a note demanding money and saying there were two bombs in the bank.

Bizarro Earth

Taiwan MPs put on wrestling shows for publicity

Taiwan politicians know how to put on a good show. But the brawling and histrionics in parliament that have put Taiwan politics on the world map for the past 20 years are staged acts, legislators and political observers say.

They are planned in advance to generate media attention and garner favour with voters who like to see their representatives fight as hard as they can on tough issues.

Lawmakers even call up allies to ask that they wear sports shoes ahead of the choreographed clashes. They have been known to meet up afterwards for drinks.

"It's really a media event, staged for media coverage," said Nationalist Party (KMT) legislator Joanna Lei. "They have a strategy session, like a war plan."