Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S

Wine

Australia: Drunk tourist sleeps off croc attack

A tourist who had drunk 12 cans of beers before being attacked by a crocodile while swimming in a Queensland river fell asleep at his campsite before going to hospital for treatment.

Matt Martin was camping in an area of the northeastern state of Queensland known to be inhabited by crocodiles when he drank what he later described as half a slab - or 12 cans of beer.

When he dived into the river at Cow Bay in the topical far north of the state, he landed on a crocodile.

Bad Guys

Proposed (Classified) Bill Will Defend Against Flesh-Eating (Classified) - a parody

Rep. John Haller (R-PA) introduces a bill that will allocate (classified) dollars over the next (classified) years to fight flesh-eating (classified).

Wine

China's Great Wall gets first major fashion show

Built centuries ago to keep out the barbarian hoards, China's Great Wall was lit up on Friday with its first ever big-name fashion show.

©REUTERS/David Gray
A model is assisted off the catwalk while wearing a dress by fashion label Fendi at sunset on the Great Wall of China near Beijing October 19, 2007.

Star

Pope John Paul II 'appears' in bonfire vision

From Mother Theresa in a cinammon bun, to the Virgin Mary on a toasted cheese sandwich - images resembling religious icons are regularly spotted in unlikely places.

Take 2

Bike Hackers Get Whimsical With Two-Wheelers

The Graffiti Research Lab is known for its off-the-wall hacks, but the Mobile Broadcast Unit, or MBU, is the group's most ambitious yet. The $10,000 multimedia tricycle is used to project videos and on-the-fly artwork onto buildings several stories high.

©Unknown

UFO

New Star trek movie heads toward warp drive

Major roles filled for 11th Star Trek celluloid outing.

Comment: The word in the Trekkie world is that William Shatner will, also, have a cameo role.

©Cartoon Stock




Smiley

Couple Make Burglar Clean Up at Gunpoint

MONTGOMERY, Ala. - A burglar in Montgomery chose the wrong family to mess with, literally. Adrian and Tiffany McKinnon returned home on Tuesday after a week away to find that thieves had emptied almost everything the family of five owned, Tiffany McKinnon said through tears.

Smiley

Ukulele revival edging out school recorder

The humble school recorder lesson which for generations has filled corridors with shrill whistles and squeaks is being challenged by the newfound popularity of the ukulele. Previously associated with George Formby's comic songs, the ukulele is becoming a firm favourite among budding primary school musicians across the country.


Light Saber

Truthiness!: Stephen Colbert to Run for President

Stephen Colbert has announced his candidacy for president on "The Colbert Report," tossing his satirical hat into the ring of an already crowded race.

"I shall seek the office of the president of the United States," Colbert said Tuesday on his Comedy Central show as red, white and blue balloons fell around him.

Smiley

Naked chocolate Jesus rises again in New York

A life-size chocolate sculpture of a naked Jesus will finally be displayed in New York starting in late October, seven months after an outcry by Roman Catholics forced a different gallery to cancel its exhibition.

The chocolate Jesus will be joined by sculptures of several fully clothed saints, but the Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights said it will not protest because, unlike before, there are no plans to put the "anatomically correct" Jesus in public view during Holy Week.