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Tue, 23 May 2017
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The word 'fart': Unparliamentary my dear

© Getty Images
Elizabeth May stopped Michelle Rempel speaking after she said the word 'fart'
A row has blown up in the Canadian parliament - over the word "fart".

When Conservative MP Michelle Rempel accused the government of treating the province of Alberta "like a fart in the room" over jobs, Green Party leader Elizabeth May took exception.

However, it was not the accusations of inaction which riled Ms May.

"I heard her say a word I know is distinctly unparliamentary, and I think she may want to withdraw it," the shocked Ms May said.

"The word was f-a-r-t," she continued, spelling it out clearly so as not to repeat the offending term.


MSM insists UK's extreme surveillance law probably not worth reporting

© Shutterstock
A NEW bill giving the UK intelligence agencies the most sweeping surveillance powers in the western world is 'probably not worth reporting', real news outlets have revealed this week.

The Investigatory Powers Bill, which was passed on Thursday with little or no media coverage, would, among other measures, require websites to keep customers' browsing history for up to a year and allow law enforcement agencies access to help with investigations.

"Sure, why would we bother reporting on the biggest invasion of privacy in the history of the British state?" posed Daily Mail journalist Mark Smith, who was too busy working on World War 3 with Russia articles, "I've also got to get four Kardashian pieces out for Monday morning that are guaranteed thousands of shares.

No one is going to bother reading about silly old government snooping and hacking".

The bill gives legal footing to existing powers such as the bulk surveillance and bulk hacking of computers and mobile phones, and allows police and intelligence agencies access to masses of stored personal data, even if the person under scrutiny is not suspected of any wrongdoing.

"Jesus this stuff sounds really boring and dated, to tell you the truth," pointed out The Sun editor, Tony Gallagher, whose newspaper has on many occasions reported false truths in the past,"Our main goal this week is to tackle this fake news phenomenon. All our journalists are too busy compiling a list of the fake news sites to warn people. No one wants to hear about totalitarian-style surveillance powers - the most intrusive system of any democracy in human history".

For more on this unimportant bill, click HERE.


Council of Native American leaders offer amnesty to 220 million undocumented whites

A council of Native American leaders has offered partial amnesty to the estimated 220 million illegal white immigrants living in the United States.

The "white" problem has been a topic of much debate in the Native American community for centuries, and community leaders have decided the time has come to properly address it.*

Daily Currant reports, "At a meeting of the Native Peoples Council (NPC) in Albuquerque, New Mexico yesterday, Native American leaders considered several proposals on the future of this continent's large, unauthorized European population.

The elders ultimately decided to extend a pathway to citizenship for those without criminal backgrounds."


Polar bear petting dog filmed in Manitoba

A tour guide in Canada discovered that man's best friend has pals elsewhere in the animal kingdom when he captured video of a polar bear petting a dog.

David De Meulles said he was taking a pair of North Star Tours clients on a polar bear watching expedition during the weekend in Churchill, Manitoba, when the group witnessed the meeting between the bear and dog, which was tethered on its owner's property.

"I had no idea what was going to happen, and then sure enough he started petting that dog, acted like he was a friend," De Meulles told CBC News. "I just so happen to catch a video of a lifetime."

The video shows the polar bear gently stroking the dog's fur while the two animals enjoy a snuggle.

"I've known the bears to have somewhat friendly behavior with the dogs, but for a bear to pet like a human would pet a dog is just mind-blowing," De Meulles said. "It was a beautiful sight to see, and I just can't believe an animal that big would show that kind of heart toward another animal."


Enough politics already! Pilot bans Trump talk on flight after passengers argue

A passenger on a flight from San Francisco to Mexico recorded a pilot's announcement discouraging political talk in flight after an argument about Donald Trump.

Jon Bauer posted a video to YouTube he said was recorded by a friend on a United flight Friday morning from San Francisco to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico.

Bauer said the passenger began to film just after the pilot asked passengers to refrain from discussing President-elect Donald Trump or other hot-button political issues while in the air.

"I understand everybody has their opinions; that's fine," the captain says over the plane's speaker system in the video.


Steamboat protesters: 'More snow, less hate'

© Fox 31
Four young men who have had it with the way things are right now decided to protest on a street corner in downtown Steamboat Saturday.

Their signs read, "More snow, less hate," "Powder to the people," "Make Colorado snow again," and "Anything but summer."

Shannon Lukens of SteamboatRadio.com said they were yelling at all of the drivers in the cars as they drove by the intersection of 5th and Lincoln Avenue.

The good news is that a storm system is expected to bring snow to the mountains later next week, and potentially Denver as well.

Comment: The kind of "snowflakes" we want!


Trump Acceptance Resistance Disorder (TARD): Are you suffering?

© Disclose.tv
Trump Acceptance Resistance Disorder is a pattern of pathologically dissociative and psychotic behavior, first observed in the late hours of November 8th 2016, and increasing in severity with passing time. Sufferers of Trump Acceptance Resistance Disorder often exhibit pronounced cognitive dissonance, sudden bouts of rage, uncontrollable crying, suicidal ideation, and extreme sadness.

Signs And Symptoms:

People with Trump Acceptance Resistance Disorder are characterized by a persistent unwillingness to accept that Donald Trump is going to Make America Great Again.

Individual sufferers often display signs of paranoia and delusion; in acute cases psychotic episodes have been observed. Trump Acceptance Resistance Disorder is different from being upset about the results of the 2016 presidential election; People with TARD are unwilling or unable to accept reality, despite irrefutable evidence.

According to the DSM-V, individuals with TARD exhibit most or all of the following symptoms:
- Telling others they are moving to Canada;
- Fixated on fantasies about the Electoral College;
- Protesting an election no credible source contests the outcome of
- Exclamations that "Someone" should do "Something";
- Acute change in demeanor from pompous and arrogant to fearful and combative;
- Claim that anyone who disagrees with them is some combination of Racist, Sexist, Bigoted, Homophobic, and actually some sort of Hitler persona.


The Shakening

Contains strong language, viewer discretion is advised.


Jonathan Pie: Analysis of the US Presidential Election

© A.F.Branco/Legal Insurrection
An analysis of the US Presidential Election and the roles of the mainstream media and 'progressive Left' from intrepid UK News reporter Jonathan Pie.

Warning: contains strong language

Comment: See also:


The all-seeing Simpsons predicted Donald Trump presidency

© 20th Century Fox
Sixteen years before Donald Trump's election as US President, The Simpsons predicted the tycoon would become leader of the free world. The bizarre premise was outlined in an episode, titled 'Bart To The Future', broadcast in early 2000.

Trump was also mocked in another episode of the satirical cartoon, aired last year, after he announced he was running for president.

James L. Brooks, executive producer on "The Simpsons", tweeted this morning: "F*** disillusionment!"

In the 2000 episode predicting the Trump administration, Lisa is pictured sitting in the Oval Office surrounded by advisers. "We've inherited quite a budget crunch from President Trump," she says. "How bad is it Secretary van Houten?"

Comment: See also: The Simpsons' crystal ball: Bombing Syrian 'rebels' and 6 other 'predictions'