Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Propaganda

Bridges for sale! South Carolina mom scoops al-Qaida, bests NSA

Once her son is off to school, Laura Mansfield settles in at her dining room table with her laptop and begins trolling Arabic-language message boards and chat rooms popular with jihadists.

Fluent in Arabic, the self-employed terror analyst often hacks into the sites, translates the material, puts it together and sends her analysis via a subscription service to intelligence agencies, law enforcement and academics.

©AP


Comment: The least MSM could do is make their propaganda interesting. Maybe drape an American flag over her shoulders. Throw I picture of 'Madman' Bush behind her. Throw in a line that everyone needs to sacrifice and give their firstborn to the empire, to spread the War of Terror.


Bomb

Flashback Berlusconi says 'I am like Jesus'

The Italian prime minister, Silvio Berlusconi, has caused a political storm by comparing himself to Jesus Christ.

©AP
Berlusconi has also likened himself to Napoleon, drawing warnings that he might meet his Waterloo

Bomb

Flashback Jesus sandals ditched by Danes

A supermarket chain in Denmark has withdrawn from sale sandals with the images of Jesus Christ and the Virgin Mary on them after criticism from religious groups.

©AP
Local Catholic priests said the image was blasphemous

Bomb

Pot-bellied Jesus ad irks Church

Catholic bishops in Belgium have protested against a TV ad depicting Jesus as a pot-bellied hippy picking up half-naked women in a nightclub.

Smiley

Seven-year hitch

A German politician has proposed a law making marriage contracts null and void after seven years, with the option to renew for those not feeling the proverbial itch.
"I propose that marriages lapse after seven years,''
Gabriele Pauli told reporters in Munich, the capital of the largely Catholic southern state of Bavaria.

Magic Wand

Seagull becomes cheese Doritos shoplifter

A seagull has turned shoplifter by wandering into a shop and helping itself to crisps.

©BBC
The seagull has been nicknamed Sam by locals

Smiley

'God' Apparently Responds to Lawsuit

LINCOLN, Neb. - A legislator who filed a lawsuit against God has gotten something he might not have expected: a response. One of two court filings from "God" came Wednesday under otherworldly circumstances, according to John Friend, clerk of the Douglas County District Court in Omaha.

©AP Photo/Nati Harnik, file
Nebraska's longest-serving state senator says he is suing the Almighty to make a legal point.

Bulb

Man Calls Feds About His Lost Cocaine

SEATTLE - Federal agents thought there was something fishy about Leroy Carr. On four occasions since last December, Carr either crossed the Canadian border or was found near it with thousands of dollars in cash, according to a complaint filed in U.S. District Court. He also sometimes carried night vision goggles and a GPS device programmed with coordinates for a well-known drug-smuggling trail.

Bizarro Earth

US: Nebraska Senator Ernie Chambers Sues God

State Sen. Ernie Chambers is suing God. He said on Monday that it is to prove a point about frivolous lawsuits.

Chambers said senators periodically have offered bills prohibiting the filing of certain types of suits. He said his main objection is that the constitution requires that the doors to the courthouse be open to all.

"Thus anybody can file a lawsuit against anybody -- even God," Chambers said.

Calculator

Unhappy Belgian puts his country on eBay

The keys of the kingdom were posted on eBay.

Fed up with a three-month political standoff, a Belgian teacher posted an ad on the online auction site: "For Sale: Belgium, a Kingdom in three parts ... free premium: the king and his court (costs not included)."

Gerrit Six placed the advertisement on Saturday, offering free delivery, but pointing out that the country was coming secondhand and that potential buyers would have to take on more than $300 billion in national debt.