Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Stormtrooper

Navy lose cool with £325m carrier


Ananova
Thu, 24 Jan 2008 16:45 UTC
A £325million Navy aircraft carrier had to turn back two days into a mission - after its fridge broke down.

HMS Illustrious, complete with hi-tech weaponry, was heading for the Indian Ocean with nearly 1,000 crew on board when it returned to port yesterday.

Staff had discovered a fault in the giant fridge so chiefs set a course for Portsmouth dockyard where refrigeration experts were waiting to start the £10,000 repair, reports The Sun.
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Black Cat

Update! Cat Stowaway Makes It Home Again


Associated Press
Wed, 23 Jan 2008 17:46 UTC


©AP Photo/Sun-Sentinel, Rhonda Vanover
Seth and Kelly Levy, of Palm Beach Gardens, Fla. holds their 10 month old cat, Gracie Mae at home in Palm Beach Gardens.

Palm Beach Gardens, Fla. - Some kitty math: How many lives did little tabby Gracie Mae use up when she crawled into her owner's suitcase, went through an airport X-ray machine, got loaded onto a plane, thrown onto a baggage belt and mistakenly picked up by a stranger far from home?


Comment: How did a cat get through an airport x-ray and not be seen???

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Arrow Down

Satire: Idiot stockbrokers continue to ruin your life


The Daily Mash
Tue, 22 Jan 2008 21:00 UTC
STOCKBROKERS are preparing for a third day of running around and waving their hands in the air, shouting 'nooooooooooooooooooo!!!'.

©Unknown
Look at this picture of a meadow for a while.

In London, the FTSE 100 ate all its clothes and crashed its Aston Martin into the Bank of England before running around the Monument shouting 'nooooooooooooo!!!'.

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Black Cat

US: Stowaway kitten takes plane ride in a suitcase


Reuters
Tue, 22 Jan 2008 16:35 UTC
A kitten survived a plane trip halfway across the United States after accidentally ending up in a suitcase, a newspaper reported on Tuesday.

Seth Levy's suitcase, in which 10-month-old tabby Gracie Mae stowed away, was mistakenly picked up by the wrong person after a 2 1/2 hour plane trip from Fort Lauderdale in Florida to Dallas-Fort Worth airport in Texas.
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Smiley

Not dead yet, Chilean man wakes up at his own wake


Agence France-Presse
Mon, 21 Jan 2008 16:21 UTC
An 81-year old man in the small Chilean village of Angol shocked his grieving relatives by waking up in his coffin at his own wake, local media said on Sunday.

When Feliberto Carrasco's family members discovered his body limp and cold, they were convinced that the octogenarian's hour had come, so they immediately called a funeral home, not a doctor.

Carrasco was dressed in his finest suit for the wake, and his relatives gathered to bid him a final farewell.
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Cowboy Hat

Diamonds? Gold? Old hat! Tractors are the thief's holy grail

Valerie Elliott
The Times
Mon, 21 Jan 2008 16:18 UTC
Tractors are the latest target in Britain for an international criminal gang making millions from stealing top-of-the-range models which are smuggled abroad.

The thefts are planned and carried out so meticulously that investigators believe they could be dealing with former Irish paramilitaries.

Hundreds of tractors are being stolen in an extraordinary crimewave that is worth £3 million a year and affects most counties in rural Britain. It is being investigated by police forces nationwide, working with the National Plant and Equipment Register in Operation Mermaid.

Stolen tractors, diggers, trailers and quad bikes are being transported openly and shipped overseas as far as Australia. The criminals have even managed on occasions to steal equipment that was seized and held by police.
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Heart

Russian couple reunited after 60 years apart

Will Stewart and Gethin Chamberlain
The Telegraph
Sun, 20 Jan 2008 11:51 UTC
When Anna Kozlov caught sight of the elderly man clambering out of a car in her home village of Borovlyanka in Siberia, she stopped dead in her tracks, convinced her eyes were playing tricks.

There, in front of her, was Boris, the man she had fallen in love with and married 60 years earlier. The last time she had seen him was three days after their wedding, when she kissed him goodbye and sent him off to rejoin his Red Army unit.

©Unknown
Anna Kozlov and her husband Boris were reunited after 60 years apart
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Roses

Chinese police marry in mass wedding ceremony


RIA Novosti
Sat, 19 Jan 2008 12:27 UTC
Some 100 Chinese couples who met while serving as police officers have married in Beijing at a mass wedding, China's Xinhua news agency said on Friday.

The minister of public security, Meng Jianzhu, extended his best wishes to the newly-married at the ceremony.
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Smiley

German teenage hooligan 'exiled' to Siberia


RIA Novosti
Fri, 18 Jan 2008 15:47 UTC
Authorities in the German state of Hesse have sent a local teenager to live in a Siberian village for nine months in an attempt to curb his aggressive behavior, Russia's Izvestia daily said on Friday.

The 16-year-old boy will live in the Sidelnikovo village near Omsk. The partially abandoned village is cut off from the rest of the world and experiences winter temperatures as low as - 40 degrees Celsius (-40 degrees Fahrenheit). The village has no central heating, water supplies, television, telephone or Internet.

The young boy will have to chop logs to warm up the house. He will also have to walk to a Russian school, about 2.5 kilometers (1.5 miles) away from the village.
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Evil Rays

Bin Laden pops in to say 'Boo!'

anon.
youtube
Fri, 18 Jan 2008 15:41 UTC
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