Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Stop

Armed Grannie Tries To Rob Post Office


Sky News
Sun, 17 Feb 2008 15:14 UTC
Police are hunting a knife-wielding "little old lady" who tried to rob a post office.

The woman threatened the cashier and demanded money.

But the bandit - aged between 65 and 70 - shuffled away empty handed when staff activated alarms.

The pensioner - who struck in Northenden, Manchester - is described as white, and about 5ft 2in.
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Eye 1

'Blind' man caught driving


News24
Thu, 14 Feb 2008 07:18 UTC
Rome - A 70 year-old Italian man who had been pretending to be blind for 40 years to get an invalid's pension was arrested as he drove his car, Sky TG24 television said on Thursday.
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Sheeple

The threat to Earth from space is minimal

Simon Briscoe and Hugh Aldersey-Williams
The Times
Sun, 17 Feb 2008 19:05 UTC
You may want to put this date in your diary: April 13, 2029. It's a Friday. Friday the 13th. This is the day, Nasa announced four years ago, on which the Earth is most likely to be struck by a civilisation-destroying asteroid.

The space agency quoted odds of one in 300 - an unprecedented level of risk - that we would be hit by the newly discovered 2004 MN-4, a 400-metre-diameter chunk of rock orbiting around the sun. A few hours later, it markedly shortened the odds to one in 63. By the end of the day, the chance of the planet being largely wiped out stood at one in 45.

No Threat
©Unknown

Comment: Uhhhh... errrr... you gotta wonder what drugs these guys are on. And they are writing a book about it!

So neveryoumind all those reports of fireballs or any of those writings by Victor Clube and just put out of your sweet, little head the panicological ramblings of Ms Knight-Jadczyk. The Times, the august Times of London that is, is here to tell you that there isn't anything to worry about. Really.

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Monkey Wrench

James Bond fanatic creates underwater car

Stephen Adams
Telegraph
Fri, 15 Feb 2008 17:17 UTC


Rinspeed
©Unknown

Q would have been proud - 30 years after James Bond disappeared under the waves in a specially adapted Lotus, car designers have done it for real.

Cinema audiences gasped as Roger Moore's 007 took his white Lotus Esprit for a surprise dip to evade the enemy in the film The Spy Who Loved Me.

Video: Watch the amphibious Lotus take to the waves
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Smiley

Jesus cosmetics prove too cheeky for Singapore


Reuters
Tue, 12 Feb 2008 07:22 UTC
Want to use Jesus hand cream? Well, you can't anymore. At least not in Singapore.

A Singapore-based retailer pulled a line of cheeky Jesus branded cosmetics from its shelves after complaints from irate Catholics, the local newspaper reported on Tuesday.

The cosmetics, called "Lookin' Good for Jesus", is made by American makeup company Blue Q. It was sold in three Topshop outlets in Singapore.

Image
©REUTERS/Blue Q/Handout
"Lookin' Good for Jesus" lip balm is seen in an undated file photo. A Singapore-based retailer pulled a line of cheeky Jesus branded cosmetics from its shelves after complaints from irate Catholics, the local newspaper reported on Tuesday.
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Butterfly

Honest Swede Makes 1000-Mile Trip To Appear At Court

Alan Dow
The Daily Record
Fri, 08 Feb 2008 22:22 UTC
Two Planes, Two Buses, A Hire Car, £400 And 1000 Miles To Plead Guilty

Honest Swede Andreas Back travelled 1000 miles to plead guilty to a driving offence in Scotland.

The 26-year-old spent £400 on two flights, two bus trips and a hire car to get him to Fort William Sheriff Court, where he admitted driving without insurance in nearby Corpach last November.
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Book

Secrets of Cambridge 'porn' library revealed

Stephen Adams
The Telegraph
Thu, 14 Feb 2008 08:57 UTC
For decades generations of Cambridge undergraduates have fantasised about a secret stash of Victorian pornography in the university's library tower.

Many have tried to gain access to the chamber to uncover its illicit secrets. So intrigued was Stephen Fry by the collection that he wrote about it in his first novel, The Liar.
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People

UK: Dear parishioners, please pray for your vicar ... he's run off with his deputy vicar


This is London
Wed, 13 Feb 2008 15:56 UTC
As parishioners arrived for early Sunday worship at the country church, they expected an uplifting sermon from long-serving vicar Jim Tipp.

But Canon Tipp, 62, failed to turn up and a spokesman for the diocese told the congregation he was "unavailable".

Under normal circumstances, his deputy, the Reverend Elaine Northern, 45, would have stepped in. But she, too, was "unavailable".
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Target

It was a falling moose. I swear it was!


Associated Press
Wed, 13 Feb 2008 02:24 UTC
ANCHORAGE, Alaska - Alaska State Troopers see plenty of hazards, but Trooper Howard Peterson was nearly felled by a new one: falling moose. Peterson was driving Feb. 2 on the Seward Highway south of Anchorage when something big and black fell out of the sky about 20 feet in front of his patrol car. "Falling rock!" he thought, ready to steer clear if it bounced onto the highway.

The thing didn't roll or shatter. It turned out to be a moose that fell from cliffs next to the highway.
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Heart

Dogs Give Up Their Lives to Save Family


Associated Press
Mon, 11 Feb 2008 22:06 UTC
Winona, Minnesota - Bella, a 3-year-old golden retriever/collie mix who was once rescued as an abused puppy, returned the favor to her owners by alerting them to a house fire. With help from Maddie, a 6-month-old golden retriever, Bella helped get Sue Feuling and her 9-year-old daughter, Mckenzie, out of the house last week. The dogs didn't make it.
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