Don't Panic! Lighten Up!
Experts say it was the most expensive dad joke in history.
"I was thinking it'd be funny to walk into a company I just bought and bring a sink in," Musk told reporters. "Because then I could say, 'Let that sink in' or maybe 'I'm giving it my all - everything and the kitchen sink.' That last one needs some workshopping. But you get the idea."
Musk then reportedly started looking for companies he could buy and decided Twitter would be high profile enough so that many people would be able to see and enjoy his dad joke. "It wouldn't be worth buying some small company and bringing a sink in, because then only a few hundred million people would take notice and laugh at this classic gag. It would be too remote to be an effective demonstration."
"Yeah, I could have spent a little less. But you gotta go big. Do it for the joke," Musk said. "Maybe next time I'll buy Facebook for $300 billion or something. Then I'll build three wells outside their door. They'll open the door and I'll jump out and say, 'Well, well, well.' Ha, classic. Hey Edgar, can you give Zuckerberg a call?"
Dads across the country praised Musk's commitment to the joke, saying, "Classic!" and "Nice one, bro!"
Reader Comments
The suit for lizards has problems.
Time for Elon Musk to take over.
Corporations are NOT private businesses. They are a creation of the state, and so only have what rights the state grants them. Which the state can take away at will. Which makes them beholden to the state, not "private" in any way. A great deal of what profits they generate is delivered as bribes for favorable treatment by the state. The bribed oblige them.
Is Mr Sucker-Bug really that scared to have his dark damp rock kicked over, leaving him exposed?
Corporations have more freedom and scope than national governments, but when they infiltrate and settle into a country, they are like seemingly well-behaved ogres dressed as school children happily getting a lecture from pappy (or mommy) government. Here in South America, when a Corporation wants the right to drinking water, minerals, territory, tax exemptions, market monopolies, the 'national' governments (which are really only regional office governments of the UN) sell off everything, in order to appease the monster that has divided and measured all of society's goods, for its own greed.
To: Alphabet News Networks & National Affiliates
From: Mockingbird, HQ
Dept: Political Communications
Division: Perception Management
Desk: Kink
Revision: Right-Wing Political Violence
Status: Ultra MAGA
Activate: Hammer Time
Level: Deep
" Producer: Start teleprompter…commercial ending…we’re back in 3, 2, 1… Tonight at eleven, a spooky story of political rage and right-wing violence has shattered the moral fabric of our completely healthy and stable country.
Husband of the Speaker of the House and third in line to the throne of Oligarch servantry, undefeated stock market picker, part-time drunk driver with unlisted male companions, and lover of Do-It-Yourself home improvement work was assaulted at Speaker’s Manor in the early hours Friday morning.
Run footage of crime tape with FBI agents on the scene. Paul Pelosi was doing urgent home improvement work at 2 am in his underwear at Speaker’s Manor when an Ultra MAGA intruder smashed through the back patio window of the Speaker’s Manor with a hammer.
The intruder was apparently yelling, “Where’s Nancy?” in reference to Paul’s wife Nancy Pelosi who was out of town.
Paul Pelosi was able to distance himself from the intruder by saying he needed to use the bathroom. The intruder was attempting to tie him up with leather and chains Paul had purchased as part of his home improvement project, but let Mr. Pelosi leave anyway to relieve himself.From the bathroom, Paul found his phone, where he, like all people living in mega-mansions keeps his main phone charger. From there he was able to phone the police. During the call with the 9-1-1 dispatcher, Mr. Pelosi spoke in codes.When police arrived they found both men in their underwear holding hammers. At that moment the Ultra MAGA intruder grabbed Mr. Pelosi’s hammer and hit him over the head, cracking his skull. Police quickly subdued the assailant and took him into custody where he definitely won’t be committing suicide at any moment.The Ultra MAGA assailant has been identified as a professional nudist, drug addict, homeless psychotic, and blogger who lives across the bay in Ultra MAGA country, Berkeley.We’re looking at a live shot of the intruder’s home now, as you can see the Ultra MAGA paraphernalia with the standard rainbow flag with marijuana leaf in the yard and a Black Lives Matter sign in the house window. The suspect lives in that broken down white school bus in the driveway that says You are beautiful , a common living arrangement for Ultra MAGA violent far-right extremists.
We will have more facts about this story as they become available.
For now, let’s turn to our far-right Ultra MAGA political violence specialist Ashwika Chandra, a Professor of Sociology from the University of San Francisco.
Ashwika, this was clearly a targeted political attack against Speaker Pelosi. What does this attack say about the Republican Party and Donald Trump in particular and their constant incitement of violence against Democrats, especially as it relates to the upcoming midterm elections, and do you think we should expect more violent attacks from the far-right on political figures in the coming days particularly with Halloween just around the corner?..."
He's going to convince the dupes that the MIMP (Military, Industrial, Media, Pharmaceutical) cartel is made up of approachable and funny folks who are dedicated to human freedom and well-being. Personally, my heart is about to burst with love and trust for Elon. How about yours?
Maybe a combination or all of the above?
I mean who gets the shit, the ignominy, flows down the drain?
does Elon get it all...if so...job well done Elon...
now as for twister - it is like twitter...
basically worthless unless played
with ladies flexible physically
together and such.
BK
So, if you own communication by your lonesome...
lonely your life will be Elon.
Get a clue you fool.
So it goes -Billy Pilgrim
Over the years, I earned enough to pay the bills and pay off debts, but my goal has never been to sit upon a pile of currency....so, it could be worse I suppose - it could be like *uckerberg making the big purchase and all, and glad that didn't happen....Elon at least seems like he would be fun to hang out with for an evening, but it must go to a fella's head when he is the " richest man in the world ".....the jury is still out as to whether his accomplishments truly have merit and sometimes the best merit resides in small things and little actions done delicate....and enjoying being out in the woods and listening to the birds and such.
~
So three days in row, there was a "grey heron" (I think so - it wasn't white nor was it blue...it was grey). If not a heron, must be something similar....and the first two days when my dog and I along the riverbank saw it there, same place every day, it flew off pretty much across the river or more than halfway. Today however, it only flew onto a nearby stone in the river when we approached and then it let us get nearby. I didn't push my luck, I didn't have a camera to take a picture, I'm glad I didn't, but that bird was there 3 days in a row and today it let us get pretty close....
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Now, per what I just checked the Grey Heron is not naturally in the habitat where my home is, so maybe it was a "blue heron"....or maybe a different bird altogether - there is a fine white bird so slim with broad wings.....it flew like that but it was grey. It had long skinny legs like the Heron does, a similar shape.....I'm not sure what sort of bird it was, but I appreciated it letting us get fairly close. After three days, I guess it decided we really were not a threat.
~
You know what the myth is regarding the Blue Heron....don't ya?
Well, there are many, the one I was remembering had to do with passing on to another place, but there are other stories and I'm not sure that bird was a Blue Heron....I'm glad it was there though.
[Link]
~
Best to you,
Ken
Once I was walking through a local forest towards the river running through it and started being sneaky because on the opposite riverbank I saw a grey heron standing at the edge in the water and there was a pair of mallard ducks floating beside it which I found interesting and when they all saw me the three of them flew away together.
Blessings to you as well Ken.
A bloody period beckons lol.
Same reason they took Darryl Hannnah off screen.
When these tools are without their genie out of a bottle dependency they will look scary even after just a few months....