
© Unknown'DoubleTroubleTrump'
"It's over, Pelosi! You've lost!" shouted a cackling Trump as he and the Speaker of the House hovered above the White House, locked in mortal combat. "You have no cards left to play!"
Pelosi, ragged and weary from battling her archnemesis for three years, managed a weak smile.
"Oh, I think I might have one card up my sleeve," she growled
through clenched dentures.
"Progressives, assemble!" Down on the ground, something incredible happened: brave Resistance warriors from all over began to assemble and scream at the sky, their powers adding to her own. Pelosi's eyes began to glow blue as she was filled with all the power of every outraged progressive across the land.
"Impeachment attack, go!!!" she cried as she unleashed a blue energy beam at Trump's chest -- a desperate, final gambit to impeach him forever and remove him from office.
But Pelosi was horrified as Trump only absorbed the attack, feeding on its power.
"Ha. Ha ha. Ha ha ha HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" he cackled as he gained more and more power from the impeachment attack.
"Foolish mortals! Every attack only makes me stronger!"Trump then drew on all his newfound power to create chaos at the Iowa primaries, cause himself to be acquitted, and force Pelosi to have a mental breakdown, all in the same week. Unfortunately, he then tweeted something dumb, his only weakness.
But Democrats then responded to his dumb tweet with even dumber stuff, causing his power to grow even more!
Comment: An undisputed 'first'! Trump has now achieved the unique title of
'Most Acquitted'!
President Donald Trump made history once again today after being acquitted in his second Senate impeachment trial. He is now the most acquitted president in American history.
Donald Trump issued a statement regarding this incredible honor:
"I have been completely and totally cleared of all wrongdoing in this pathetic witch hunt sham impeachment trial. I am now the most acquitted president ever -- even more than Clinton. No president has ever been acquitted more than I have. Will I get the credit? Probably not, because of the fake news media. I am looking forward to continuing our MAGA movement together for many more acquittals to come!"
According to sources, Republican Senators cheered and high-fived each other, knowing they had just outsmarted all the Democrats into bestowing such an unprecedented badge of honor on the former president.
"Oh no! What have we done?!" wailed Senator Amy Klobuchar, suddenly realizing the Senate had given Trump yet another impressive world record, making him the subject of trivia questions for the next two centuries.
According to sources, Clinton will be handing over his giant gold "most acquitted ever" trophy to Trump in Mar-a-Lago next week.
Comment: An undisputed 'first'! Trump has now achieved the unique title of 'Most Acquitted'!