If we come to a minefield, our infantry attacks exactly as if it was not there - Marshal Georgy Zhukov

Let's start with the serious stuff. As Russia's Federation Council ratifies a treaty with Crimea, concluding the formal annexation, Ukraine signs the political chapters of an association agreement with the European Union (EU). The signing of the full EU agreement will only happen later in 2014.

These are the facts on the ground. Now let's turn to comedy hour - also known as the sanctions war.

The oh-so democratic EU has punished the democratic Crimea referendum by sanctioning 33 Russians and Crimeans with asset freezes and travel bans, according to that Magritte-style walking fiction, European Council President Van Rompuy. The EU also canceled the EU-Russia summit in Sochi on June 3. And the vast, Kafkaesque bureaucracy of the European Commission (EC) has taken time out from subsidizing European cows to prepare for "possible economic sanctions", according to German Chancellor Angela Merkel.

The EU is irretrievably split on what to do. Whatever it does, Moscow's capacity to make the EU badly hurt is stronger. There may be another meek set of sanctions next week, as Merkel advertised. But that's it.

Western sanctions might push Russia to deepen cooperation with BRICS states, in particular, to strengthen its ties with China, which will possibly turn out to be a big catastrophe for the US and the EU some time later.

On March 18, the spokesperson for the Kremlin, Dmitry Peskov, claimed in a BBC interview that Russia would switch to new partners in case of economic sanctions being imposed by the European Union and the United States. He highlighted that the modern world isn't unipolar and Russia has strong ties with other states as well, though Russia wants to remain in good relations with its Western partners, especially with the EU due to the volume of deals and joint projects.

Those "new partners" are not really new since Russia has been closely interconnected with them for almost 13 years. This is all about the so-called BRICS organization, consisting of Brazil, Russia, India, China and South Africa. BRICS represents 42 percent of the world's population and about a quarter of the world's economy, which means that this bloc of states is an important global actor.

The BRICS countries are like-minded in regard to supporting the principles of international law, the central role of the UN Security Council and the principles of the non-use of force in international relations; this is why they are so actively performing in the sphere of settling regional conflicts. However, the cooperation between Brazil, Russia, India, China and South Africa goes beyond political aspects and is also demonstrated by dynamic trade and multiple projects in different areas. Today, in total, there are more than 20 formats of cooperation within the BRICS which are intensively developing. For example, in February the member-states came to an agreement about 11 prospective directions of scientific and technical cooperation, from aeronautics to bio- and nanotechnology. In order to modernize the global economic system, at the center of which stand the US and the EU, the leaders of Brazil, Russia, India, China and South Africa have created the BRICS Stock Alliance and are creating their own development bank to finance large infrastructure projects. On the whole, despite fierce criticism of BRICS as an organization with no future, it is developing and increasing cooperation with its members and, in fact, BRICS is showing pretty good results.

With suspension of Russian participation in G8 and possible strengthening of economic sanctions, the experts expect some particular industries to be targeted, including limits on imported products. While the West seeks to hit Russia hard, it is important to notice that Russia is ready to switch to other markets, for instance BRICS, and increase trade volumes with countries from this bloc.

Indeed, Russia buys significant amount of products from NATO states, for example, 50 percent of fruits and berries come from Spain, Holland and Poland. Nevertheless, Russia is intensifying its economic ties with the developing world. In 2012 Russia was buying 41 percent of its beef from Brazil, though this index has recently decreased to 20 percent, and Russia is likely to increase its import in case of need. In February 2013, Russia and Brazil reached an agreement on the long-standing problem of pork exports to Russia, as well as agreeing on a list of sanitary and quality requirements for the annual import of millions of metric tons of Russian wheat. This is a shining example of the substitute partnerships that have yielded positive results, although some problems with sanitary norms had to be resolved. In other words, it's beyond the power of the EU and US to make Russian people suffer from products scarcity since they are not the country's only trade partners.

A United Nations commission has officially recognized the Sea of Okhotsk enclave, off Russia's southeastern coast, as part of the country's continental shelf, the Russian minister of natural resources said Saturday.

Russia will get exclusive rights to the area of 52,000 square kilometers, described by the government as a "real Ali Baba's cave," that contains reserves of valuable minerals and other natural resources.

"This is in fact an accomplished event," Sergei Donskoy told reporters commenting on Friday's decision by the UN Commission on the Limits of the Continental Shelf which he said cannot be reversed.

American personnel on the ground in Benghazi the night of the 2012 terror attack are outraged after learning that the CIA's inspector general never conducted an investigation into what happened -- despite two CIA workers being killed in the attack and despite at least two complaints being filed by CIA employees.

Former Ambassador Chris Stevens, another State official and two ex-Navy SEALs working for the CIA were killed in that attack.

Many in the agency were told, or were under the impression, that an investigation was in the works, but that is not the case.

One person close to the issue told Fox News: "They should be doing an investigation to see what the chief of base in Benghazi and station chief in Tripoli did that night. If they did, they'd find out there were some major mistakes."

This source claimed an investigation would likely uncover a lot of details the public does not know.

Asked why such a probe has not been launched, a CIA spokesman said: "CIA's Office of the Inspector General (OIG) always reviews carefully every matter that is brought to its attention, and takes appropriate action based on a variety of factors."

A study released by the Gates Foundation is promoting a system that would track the careers of college graduates long after they receive their degrees, attacking the National Association for Independent Colleges and Universities for promoting laws that prevent up-close surveillance of students by the government.

The study, titled "College Blackout," argues that the proposed system, the Student Unit Recording System, would allow a more nuanced approach to studying the value of higher education. This requires knowing the life story of every student and tracking information like income after college and major simultaneously. The data already exists, the study argues, though spread out across a number of government institutions, like the Social Security Administration and the IRS.

While private institutions and some states keep these records, the study argues that the federal government should have this information pooled in one place.

What currently prevents such a database is a 2008 law that bans the project. "Without the ban," the study explains, "the Department of Education could use student-level data already collected and stored by schools, states, and the federal government; safeguard it; and link it across schools and to other data sources - a structure known as a student unit record data system."

The Obama ladies are in the house - the house of China, that is.

First lady Michelle Obama, her two daughters, Malia and Sasha, and her mother touched down Thursday in China for what's being touted as a weeklong feel-good tourist event, amid increasing murmurs back home about U.S. taxpayers having to foot the bill.

Mrs. Obama is supposed to use her visit for soft diplomacy only, and shy from the more controversial topics that plague U.S.-China relations, namely human rights and economics. No reporters accompanied the family on the trip.

"The nature of her visit is really quite different," deputy national security adviser Ben Rhodes told reporters ahead of the trip. "What the first lady really brings is the power of her own story, the power of American values."

The White House also announced that Mrs. Obama wouldn't field any questions from journalists she encountered in Beijing, which rankled some members of the press and the private sector, given her trip - complete with an entourage of about 70 - was still being paid for with tax dollars.

Mrs. Obama is due to meet with her Chinese counterpart, first lady Peng Liyuan, on Friday. Her travel mates will also head with her to the western historic city of Xi'an and the southern community of Chengdu, the latter of which is home to the nation's famed panda bear reserves.

Michael Madigan, the all-powerful Speaker of the Illinois House of Representatives, announced Thursday that he would direct the Democrat-controlled state legislature to place a referendum on the November ballot that would raise taxes on millionaires by three percent. The measure is similar to a referendum that California Gov. Jerry Brown convinced voters to pass in November 2012, and which helped the state achieve a budget surplus.

Madigan, a Democratic Party boss whom most regard as the true ruler of the state--surpassing Democrat Gov. Pat Quinn--would need to convince three-fifths of both houses to pass the tax hike as a constitutional amendment before it could be put to the voters.

However, as Ray Long, Monique Garcia and Maura Zurich of the Chicago Tribune note, "Madigan holds enough Democratic votes that he could muscle the measure through."

Democrats hold supermajorities in both the House and Senate in Illinois, thanks partly to the fact that Madigan redrew the districts after the 2010 Census--and did so without fear of opposition from the governor after Quinn defeated his Republican challenger.

In 2011, NASA booked a flight for Ames Research Center Director Simon "Pete" Worden to fly first class from Washington D.C. to San Francisco. Cost of the one-way ticket: $14,773, versus the $189 average coach fare. Although the trip is reported in NASA's annual travel disclosure, the agency now says the flight never happened.

Worden, meanwhile, says he did take the flight. He explained by email to Scripps News that the trip "included substantial foreign travel," and that he was authorized to fly first class for medical reasons. Yet, NASA's annual report accounting for its first and business class "premium" flights during 2011 includes no reports of foreign travel for Worden that year.

NASA is trying to resolve many of these kinds of disparities as it sorts out what it calls "widespread" errors in travel disclosures to the General Services Administration of its premium travel, according to Elizabeth Robinson, the space agency's chief financial officer. The errors date back to at least 2009, she said.

"We've identified some cases where there are inaccuracies and we are being very forthright about that and we are addressing those inconsistencies," said NASA communications director David Weaver.

One of President Barack Obama's favorite new Obamacare sign-up pitches is that young enrollees, which the law banks on for sustainability, can get health insurance for the price of a monthly cellphone bill. But in reality, premiums are more than a little pricier.

"HealthCare.gov works great now," Obama told Zack Galifianakis Tuesday in a Funny or Die "Between Two Ferns" video. "And millions of Americans have already gotten health insurance plans, and what we want is for people to know that you can get affordable health care - and most young Americans right now, they're not covered."

"And the truth is that they can get coverage all for what it costs you to pay your cell phone bill," Obama said.

As competition heats up in the wireless war between the nation's biggest carriers, prices and options for cellphone plans are spread across a wide range, depending on phone type, data limits, upgrade terms, etc. For comparison's sake, we'll define an average middle-of-the-road plan as consisting of a smartphone, two-year upgrade, unlimited calls, unlimited texts and an average of two gigs of downloadable Internet data per month.

Mark Zuckerberg isn't the first name that comes to mind as a champion of privacy. But the seemingly endless revelations of NSA surveillance programs has inspired Facebook's founder to call up no less than President Obama himself to defend his users from government intrusion.

On Thursday Zuckerberg posted a statement on Facebook calling on the U.S. government to take more measures to respect users' privacy and security. "The US government should be the champion for the internet, not a threat," reads his statement. "I've called President Obama to express my frustration over the damage the government is creating for all of our future. Unfortunately, it seems like it will take a very long time for true full reform."

Though Zuckerberg never explicitly names the NSA in his statement, his comments follow news of NSA programs that have potentially allowed spying on Facebook users for years - particularly the majority of those users outside the United States. The initial stories on the NSA's PRISM program last July cited NSA slides that made Facebook appear to have given direct backdoor access to its servers, a notion Zuckerberg and others have vehemently denied. In October, more revelations pointed to NSA efforts to decrypt or surveil data as it traveled between the data centers of companies like Yahoo! and Google. Yet another program siphoned users' entire contact lists from services like Gmail, Yahoo! Mail, Hotmail and Facebook - NSA documents cited a single day when 82,857 contact lists were taken from Facebook users.