Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Family

Ohio: Woman Gets Married, Has Baby on Same Day


The Associated Press
Tue, 02 Mar 2010 07:49 UTC
An Ohio woman taken to a maternity ward in her wedding dress became a newlywed and a new mom on the same day.

Jamie Phillips says she felt contractions while her father walked her down the aisle during her wedding ceremony Saturday in Toledo in northwest Ohio, but she thought it was a false alarm. It wasn't until after her water broke at the reception that she was rushed to a hospital in Sylvania.

The baby boy, named Tova, wasn't due until March 7. His mother and her new husband, Mark Phillips, didn't think the baby would come quite so soon when they planned the wedding two weeks earlier.
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Mr. Potato

It was only Rick'n'roll but we liked it (updated)

Jack Schofield
The Guardian
Wed, 24 Feb 2010 08:25 UTC
Rick Astley
© Mauro Carraro/Rex FeaturesRick Astley … still rocking, but no longer rolling?
Rickrolling - duping people into watching a Rick Astley video on YouTube - will no longer work in many cases because YouTube has removed the video [update: and has now restored it]

The rickroll, one of the internet's favourite memes, has been badly hit by the removal of the video on which it was based. Instead of being tricked into watching Rick Astley singing Never Gonna Give You Up, victims who click the link get a YouTube message: "This video has been removed due to terms of use violation".
Update: If you clicked the above link earlier, then you just might have been meta-rickrolled. It turns out that the video was removed by mistake, after YouTube suspended a user account flagged by a member of its spam team. So RickRoll'D is back, and it still has more than 30m views.
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Smiley

Herhold: A dog's story

Gerry Herhold
MercuryNews.com
Mon, 01 Mar 2010 21:58 UTC
Gerry
© Herhold FamilyGerry, Scott Herhold's dog, will turn one year old on March 12, 2010.
You are, perhaps, surprised that I can write. Let me clear that up. I have a ghost writer: my human.

Unusual? I guarantee you the Dog Whisperer, Cesar Millan, has a ghost writer. A guy who spends all his time around dogs needs one. So bury the skepticism, please.

You may know my story: I am a yellow Lab, born on March 12, 2009, in Bakersfield, a good place to be from. In a conspiracy engineered by my human's two sons, I arrived at my new San Jose household last Mother's Day, a surprise to my human's wife, Sarah.

For obvious reasons, her approval has not come easily. I'm a 75-pound Lab: I've dug a hole in the backyard and trashed the lawn. I've eaten a bicycle pedal, chewed the pillars of the house, barked noisily and destroyed two sets of earphones.

Sarah thinks I'm unaware that she sometimes refers to me as the "DD," for "damn dog." When she hands me a treat, she'll sometimes drop it in fear. But the other day, as she arrived home, I heard her say distinctly, "Hi, baby!"

"Hi, baby!" I think I've come a long way. Not as far as I'd like, but still, those two words bespeak an achievement for the canine race.
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Smiley

Frustrated Ryanair passenger eats €10,000 winning scratchcard

Richard Gray
Irish Independent
Mon, 01 Mar 2010 15:26 UTC
An angry airline passenger ate a €10,000 winning scratchcard after he was told he could not claim the money immediately.

The unnamed man was flying with Ryanair from Krakow, in Poland, to East Midlands Airport when he won €10,000 with the scratch card.

Cabin crew on the flight confirmed he had a winning card, but told the passenger he would have to collect the jackpot directly from the company that runs the competition as they did not have enough cash on board the plane.

Ryanair said the man then became frustrated and started to eat his winning ticket while on the flight on Thursday.

His rash actions mean he has lost any chance of claiming the prize money, which will now be donated to charity.
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Shoe

Joke of the day: Psychopath Blair haunted by bloodshed in Iraq


Raw Story
Sun, 28 Feb 2010 13:34 UTC
Tony Blair was so depressed after the Iraq war that the then British premier told Gordon Brown he would quit the following summer, only to renege on his pledge, a newspaper reported Sunday.

The physical and mental stress on Blair was so profound that he confided to friends he "spaced out" several times during his weekly session of parliamentary questions, according to a new book serialised in The Observer.

The End of the Party, by political journalist Andrew Rawnsley, claims Blair was haunted by the chaos and bloodshed in Iraq, coupled with the constant pressure from Brown, the then finance minister, to step aside.
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Meteor

Space Impact: Meteor Shield lands on Ovi Store


Mobiletor.com
Fri, 26 Feb 2010 02:10 UTC
Nokia Game
© Mobiletor.comSpace Impact Game
The sky is set on fire and meteors start to rain down on Earth. Bringing a tour of what's happening in galaxy, Space Impact: Meteor Shield has just landed on planet Ovi Store for Nokia N97 and N97 Mini. Using the Nokia N97's digital compass the virtual world spins with the player.

The concept for the game is a simple arcade affair - players are planet Earth's last hope, and are tasked with taking the controls of a gun turret to protect the world from incoming showers of meteors and alien hordes.
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Sheeple

Bill Hicks: You are free, to do as we tell you!

macthaidhg
YouTube
Fri, 23 Oct 1992 12:19 UTC
"Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye." - Bill Hicks 1961 - 1994 R.I.P.

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Eye 1

Best of the Web: The Love Police - Undercover Anti-Terror Squad

JohnNada80
YouTube
Fri, 23 Oct 2009 07:03 UTC
A compilation of clips by the 'Love Police' (Also known as the 'Everything is OK guys').
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Mr. Potato

Emergency shipment of condoms headed to Olympic athletes

John Schmuel
National Post
Fri, 26 Feb 2010 13:05 UTC
Rowdy curling crowds; spontaneous street parties; public drunkeness. You don't have to look far for evidence that the crowds at Winter Games in Vancouver know how to have a good time.

And, as if anymore proof is needed that a wild Olympic atmosphere permeates B.C.'s largest city, now there's an apparent condom shortage.

That's right. As you read this, an emergency shipment of condoms is desperately making its way across Canada to the West Coast city.
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Attention

Warning to Miss Piggy: Cover that cleavage!


From wire reports
Wed, 24 Feb 2010 02:51 UTC
Image

Colorado Springs, Colorado - Puppet cleavage has been ruled out for advertising posters in Colorado Springs bus shelters.

Lamar Advertising rejected posters for a touring production of the Broadway show Avenue Q because they show the cleavage of a fuzzy pink puppet.

Lamar account executive Jeff Moore said the company takes a conservative approach in Colorado Springs. The city is known for its political conservatism, and some conservative Christian groups have their headquarters there.
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