Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Smiley

911 Dispatcher Gives Birth on 9-11 at 9:11

Joyce Chen
The News Tribune
Sun, 13 Sep 2009 13:18 UTC
Puyallup, Washington - A 911 dispatcher gave birth on Friday, Sept. 11, at 9:11 p.m.

TaMara Sheppard of Tacoma started labor around noon and arrived at Puyallup's Good Samaritan Hospital at 7:30 p.m. before delivering baby Nina Morgan.

Sheppard had been scheduled for induced labor on Monday, but Nina Morgan decided to make an early grand entrance.

"The last time I looked at the clock (in the delivery room), the little hand was on nine and the big one was on eleven," Sheppard said. Then the doctor told her to push.

Recovering in the hospital on Saturday, Sheppard took the prodigious timing in stride. "It never even crossed my mind until my husband said, 'you're a 911 dispatcher, you had a baby on 9/11 at 9:11.'"

She cheekily added: "We were hoping she was 9 pounds, 11 ounces, on top of that."
Read More...
Coffee

Swedish Man Claims Drinking After Driving


United Press International
Fri, 11 Sep 2009 22:02 UTC
A Swedish court cleared a drunken driving suspect of wrongdoing after he told the jury he wasn't drunk until after the car was stopped.

The man, who was arrested after witnesses saw him swerving and followed his car until he pulled over, told the Lund District Court he drank more than 16 ounces of hard liquor at the side of the road while the witnesses weren't paying close attention, The Local reported Friday.

Police said the man was so intoxicated when they arrived that he had trouble standing. However, jurors said they determined the man's claims of post-driving drinking could not be disproved and the case was dismissed.
Read More...
Star

Croatia: Smokers can hit the cafes again

Igor Ilic
Reuters
Thu, 10 Sep 2009 13:21 UTC
Smoker_01
© REUTERS/Miguel VidalAn employee of a bank smokes a cigarette at his workplace in Pontevedra, northern Spain December 15, 2005.
The Croatian government moved on Thursday to loosen a controversial public smoking ban enforced only four months ago, after cafe owners complained it was crippling business.

According to a new proposal, due in parliament later this month, smoking in cafes will be allowed in special spaces that must be larger than 10 square meters (12 sq yards) but must not cover more than 20 percent of the overall premises.

The cafes unable to meet those conditions will be able to cater for smokers if they secure a proper ventilation system, a change likely to be welcomed by the country's more than one million smokers, or almost 25 percent of the population.
Read More...
Control Panel

Telkom's ADSL internet speed beaten by a pigeon


Business Day Online
Wed, 09 Sep 2009 17:37 UTC
Homing pigeon Winston has made history by beating a Telkom ADSL line in delivering 4GB of data from Howick to Hillcrest, outside Durban in far less time than it takes to download the data using the state-run Telkom's data network.

It took Winston 2 hours 6 minutes and 57 seconds, whereas the ADSL download was still under 5 % downloaded by the time the bird landed.
Read More...
Play

The Proof That Birds Are Secretly Composers

Jarbas Agnelli
Vimeo
Thu, 10 Sep 2009 17:29 UTC
A normal person sees these birds perched on electrical wires and worries about getting crapped on. Jarbas Agnelli looks at them and sees musical notes. Maybe he's smarter than the rest of us because the melody is utterly oh-so-sweet-that-I-could-doze-off-right-now.

Agnel explains that he was simply curious about what sort of tune he could create by transcribing the birds into musical notes. I'm more curious about what would happen if he tried the same with the freckles on someone's back...


Birds on the Wires from Jarbas Agnelli on Vimeo
Read More...
War Whore

Flashback Satire: Cheney Waits Until Last Minute Again To Buy Sept. 11 Gifts


The Onion
Thu, 11 Sep 2008 12:41 UTC
Cheney Bloomingdales
© The OnionThe vice president strolls happily down New York's Park Avenue, picking up the last few 9/11 presents for his friends at the Pentagon.
WASHINGTON - Busy dealing with important paperwork and other vice presidential duties in recent weeks, Dick Cheney was forced to put off until the last minute a cherished annual tradition: gift-shopping for his favorite holiday, 9/11.

"I looked at the calendar yesterday, and I couldn't believe my eyes - 9/11 is almost here!" a rosy-cheeked Cheney said upon returning to the White House Sunday with two giant bags overflowing with gift-wrapped boxes and big red bows. "It's the most wonderful time of the year."
Read More...
Magic Wand

Baby born at 9:09 on 9/9/09 weighs 9 lbs, 9 ounces


Associated Press
Thu, 10 Sep 2009 20:34 UTC
La Crosse, Wisconcin - No doubt. The nines have it. Chuck Berendes of La Crosse said he will never forget the birthday of this third child, born Wednesday on the ninth day of the nine month in the year 2009. Nor will Berendes and his wife, Polly, forget Henry Michael's arrival time - at 9:09 a.m. by Cesarean section at Franciscan Skemp Medical Center in La Crosse.
Read More...
Smiley

Ohio Judge Orders Shoplifters to Wear T-shirts


The Associated Press
Tue, 08 Sep 2009 09:00 UTC
A northwest Ohio judge has added neon green T-shirts to his sentencing repertoire.

Western District Court Judge Jeff Robinson in Fulton County is requiring some defendants to wear shirts announcing "I'm a thief" while they perform court-ordered community service.

The judge said public punishment can serve as a deterrent, especially during tough economic times when theft crimes seem to rise.

The shirts have mainly been ordered for convicted shoplifters.
Read More...
Mr. Potato

US: Ohio robbery suspect asked victim for date


Associated Press
Wed, 09 Sep 2009 02:56 UTC
Columbus - Ohio police said a suspect in a robbery was arrested when he returned to the home about two hours later to ask the victim out on a date. Police say 20-year-old Stephfon Bennett of Columbus was among three men who robbed a couple late Sunday.

Columbus police Sgt. Sean Laird said the woman recognized Bennett as one of the robbers when he returned to ask her out. She had a relative call 911.
Read More...
Mr. Potato

H1N1 flu stops Italians kissing saint's blood


Reuters
Tue, 08 Sep 2009 11:58 UTC
Saint Gennaro Blood Kiss
© REUTERS/Ciro De Luca/AgnfotoAssisted by Cardinal Crescienzo Sepe, Orthodox Archbishop Sergij Viktor Poljotkin (L) of Samara kisses a phial of what local Roman Catholics believe is the blood of Saint Gennaro at the Duomo in Naples in this May 2, 2007 file photo. Fear of H1N1 flu will stop devout Neapolitans from performing the time-honoured ritual of kissing the blood of their patron Saint Gennaro when the city's annual festival begins later this month.
Fear of H1N1 flu will stop devout Neapolitans from performing the time-honored ritual of kissing the blood of their patron Saint Gennaro when the city's annual festival begins later this month.

The decision to forbid kissing of the glass vial containing the saint's blood was taken reluctantly by ecclesiastical and city authorities Monday, and has brought protests from local politicians.

The vial will be put on display in the city's cathedral for a week from September 19 and the faithful will be allowed to touch it only with their foreheads.
Read More...