People trying to flee the socialist state in U-Hauls in search of a better life will be greeted with a large concrete structure running across all exits from the state. Modeled after the Berlin Wall, the structure will provide comfort and security to state legislators fearful of citizens fleeing for basic necessities like electricity, taxes less than 100%, and plastic straws and bags.
The rest of the country all pitched in for the wall, too, so Governor Newsom only needed to raise income taxes by a few percentage points to fund it.
"We realized President Trump was right: walls actually work," said Newsom in a ceremony where he cut a ribbon signifying the opening of the wall. "It's just that they're a lot better when you use them to keep people in. Just look at paradise states like North Korea and the USSR. We should be following in the footsteps of these progressive leaders and not get dragged back into the Dark Ages by the other, more regressive states in the Union."
Newsom then led those gathered in a solemn hymn of state worship called "Great Leader Newsom, Ever May He Reign."
The wall will also have barbed wire atop, guard towers where state snipers can perch, and a 100-foot-wide moat filled with sharks and bears, just to make sure no one escapes.
Reader Comments
The socialist tax you to death shit-hole gov't is indeed the worst in the US, but here's what will make you scream to get out.
The F-ing Flakes.... Extreme lazy flakes that will welcome the day (2021 for sure) when global communism gives them a daily piece of bread...and tells them exactly what to do and puts them in rabbit cages. Just don't ask them to use their minds.
A perfect state, it was.
RC.
RC
Me? I live on a strip of coquina / limestone and sand; i.e., Florida.
RC
RC
Plus it's got a conflux of a palm tree and a fork in one of its ~12 primary branches, so it has a natural penthouse that whoever is the biggest mama racoon in the neighborhood- well she raises her brood - and last year's - in. Always. Current pregnant Mama Coon was walking down with four fully grown 'kids' the other day.
RC
45 yrs. in the bubble,,, here (also known as the eye-of-the-hurricane) S.B. Calif.,,, in town; great town to live in (muncho expensivo tho) ....could cash out... but go where Antarctica...(nawh!...too many ants) I'll put up with bums for now
LOVE the smell of eucalyptus in the morning.
RC