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Michigan gov deploys fleet of probe droids to catch people violating lockdown

The Babylon Bee
Thu, 07 May 2020 20:51 UTC

Michigan Governor Whitmer keeping the citizens safe

Governor Gretchen Whitmer has deployed a fleet of Imperial probe droids to catch people violating lockdown, sources confirmed Wednesday.

A robed, cackling Whitmer ordered her minions to send the probe droids out into Michigan to find people having fun.

The droids will make funny robotic noises as they hover slowly toward people who are playing outside, planting seeds, or traveling to a second home. Anyone detected breaking lockdown will be subdued by the droid's blaster cannon while the probe calls in a fleet of Michigan State Imperial Walkers to crush them for defying Emperor Whitmer.

Emperor Whitmer gives the order to send out the probe droids, the 66th of her term.

"I sense a great disturbance in the Force -- someone is having fun somewhere," she suddenly intoned at a strategy session. "Wipe them out! All of them!" She then invoked an executive order, number 66, calling for the droids to go neutralize anyone going outside or not living in fear.

"I'm afraid this dictatorship is quite operational."

Whitmer was warned she needed to get the approval of the Michigan State Senate before she created an army of droids, walkers, and stormtroopers, but she snapped back, "I am the Senate!"

Reader Comments

ReRan ·

Love it!

· 2020-05-07T21:07:08Z

Demore ·

Target practice time.

· 2020-05-07T21:44:56Z

Demore · 2020-05-07T21:45:24Z

Demore ...target shooting...

RUListening · 2020-05-08T00:09:30Z

Looking at the larger picture of this experiment--one can see that the government was infiltrated with

zombie cultists. Different programs are being unrolled in different states. This is ONE MASSIVE data collecting

'Live exercise" as Pompeo said live on the MSM. Just think about how much information they gained off of us.

This may be the test run, or this may be the real thing. Not clear. One thing is for certain though, this world is

never going to be the same.

lsjarvi · 2020-05-08T02:14:29Z

Ultimately, this is coronavirus hype is nothing but a desperation move. People are actually becoming less easy to herd, hence the need for an over-the-top fear-mongering exercise. I've taken to sharing my opinion with various people just to see what happens. Like the checkout lady at the grocery store yesterday. After she announced to everyone over the loudspeaker to please observe social distancing and wear their masks. I said, "this is nonsense!" She agreed with me and upped the ante with "it's bullshit." Today, I went to have a screw replaced in my computer glasses. You had to wear a mask to enter the business. Again, I said, "This is nonsense! Healthy people should want to be exposed to this virus." She looked me in the eye quite sympathetically and winked. The harder they push this crap, the less it's going to work. People might comply as long as they have to, but a whole lot of them smell a rat. They simply aren't buying it. And that's with 24/7 media hysteria. What's a poor psychopath to do?

Demore · 2020-05-08T14:41:59Z

lsjarvi Those who believe tend towards hysteria in the face of non believers, our ranks are growing and that is scary indeed for the scared camp. Met one such yesterday. Also met a bunch of strangers who behaved normally. That was good.

Also a lot more people out and about so I suspect a push back from the authoritarians who undoubtedly see a breach in the fence of fear they tried to surround us with. I just don't know of course, I'm just trying to look at "it" from different angles. Trying to find from where the next intallment will come from.

Lots of time to think these days... "They" didn't think of that. Time does help the slow thinkers.

Agron · 2020-05-08T06:52:54Z

There will be LOTS of moving target practice in Michigan eh?

fitz1959 · 2020-05-08T22:37:58Z

The picture is deceiving, the droids are all dressed up as state police officers!

Rowan Cocoan ·

fitz1959

· 2020-05-09T20:13:36Z

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Don't Panic! Lighten Up!

Michigan gov deploys fleet of probe droids to catch people violating lockdown

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