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Have you ever taken a psychological profile test for a job? I have taken dozens and once upon a time could not pass one. In America (the reason I say America is because I have no idea what is needed for employment approval in other countries), certain jobs will attempt to analyze you to determine certain aspects of your personality.

Most of these tests provide somewhere between 50-600 multiple choice questions using different cross referencing techniques to determine aspects of your personality. Most try to determine your trustworthiness based on past studies and statistics. The question is, are they accurate? My determination is maybe.

Several years ago, after losing a job, I was trying to get any job to earn income between good jobs - many of us have probably done that. I applied for a waiter job at the popular restaurant Applebees. They gave me one of these psychological tests which was 60 questions. I failed it miserably. Actually, I failed it so badly that the manager let me take it again because he thought there must have been some type of freakish anomaly. The second time I took it, I didn't read the questions; I simply guessed on every answer and passed with flying colors. Of course I only worked there for a few days because I hated it.

I applied at another job which had 250 questions on their psychological test. I was actually already hired, but had to to take the test as a formality. I failed it! The woman administering the test said and I quote, "Oh my, you scored worse than anyone I've ever seen in my entire life. You are not qualified to work here. Your results show an incredible amount of possible deception and strong propensity to be dishonest and steal. This shows you are level 5 red, the most deceptive type of person known. I've never seen anyone have this score before."

I said, "What? I'm not dishonest. I don't steal or anything like that."

She said, "Well, it says here you do. I'm sorry."

I was hired by someone I personally know, who happened to know what kind of employee I am. He pulled some strings to get me hired - without actually passing the test! That is dishonest in itself - using an inside friend to get over on a test, but I did it because I needed to work.

So, are these tests really accurate? The truth is, these tests which try to determine whether a person is likely to steal is more of an intelligence test than anything else. Here's an example of some questions asked (yes/no questions):
  1. Have you ever known anyone who has stolen from an employer and got away with it?
  2. If someone stole something from an employer and you were aware of it, would you report them?
Think about this. If you answer yes to the first question and yes to the second, then you are a liar...right? No, this is actually the correct answer. What they're looking for is whether or not you are analyzing the questions (as you go along) or not, not so much how you answer the questions. If you've known someone who stole and got away with it, then you would obviously not report them because otherwise, they wouldn't have gotten away with it! Right?

You see, they are looking for your ability to notice things like that in the whole of the test. If you remember question to question what your answers are, then you are more likely to let a previous answer to affect following answers - this demonstrates your propensity to lie, cheat or steal. The truth is, if you fail the test, you are either extremely honest or extremely dishonest; neither of which will get you the job. This shows extremism in your personality, which the employer is not willing to take a chance on.

Another view is that you are simply too smart for the job. These tests are based on your ability to steal and get away with it. If you're smart enough to do that, you will not be hired. I don't steal from employees, but because I'm smart enough to and never get caught, it is too much of a risk to take for the employer. Many jobs are looking for people too dumb to steal effectively. They want you to be dumb so you'll get caught.

If you have problems passing these tests...just guess on every question and you'll have a 50/50 chance of passing because most have factored in the fact that you may be guessing! It's a catch-22 for intelligent people to pass these tests. My advice is to not make any mental notes while taking it. Answer the questions quickly with the first thing that comes to mind and you'll have a 95% chance of passing, In today's world of tests like these, you need all the knowledge you can get.

Just so you know, I do not steal from employers. I have been fired from seven jobs for ratting people out who did steal. Nobody likes a rat, not even employers (especially not fellow employees who do steal). You see, most people do not have the guts to stand up for what is right and tell on someone for doing something illegal or wrong. These tests basically lump dishonest and extremely honest into the same category, which is in itself a travesty of justice and should be illegal.

Bottom line, don't think...just answer, and do it quickly

The FBI, CIA and homeland security actually want people who cannot pass these tests as their top operatives because of their ability to deceive. It's funny isn't it? Maybe I'm in the wrong line of work. It sucks that any employer would depend on these psychological profiles. Whatever happened to actually meeting a prospective employer in person?