Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S

Coffee

Smoke Break Saves S.C. Woman From Tree

ROCK HILL, S.C. - Smoking just might have saved Brenda Comers' life.

Cloud Lightning

Russian submarine listing in Providence River after storm

A Russian submarine used as a floating museum in the Providence River is listing after yesterday's storm.

Museum President Frank Lennon says the nor'easter caused an extreme high tide and winds that pushed the submarine on a shoal close to shore. It's now leaning to the left.

Lennon says the submarine floats in about a foot of water, so there's little danger. No water has penetrated the boat.

The museum hasn't yet decided how to fix the problem. The boat has been closed to visitors.

Wine

Stuffed Monkey Leads Cops to Drug Arrest

FORREST CITY, Ark. - An Arkansas State Police trooper suspected monkey business when he spotted a large stuffed animal perched atop the dashboard of a pickup truck on the interstate.

Better Earth

Young Whale Found in New York Harbor

Marine biologists were standing watch on Tuesday over a young whale that lost its way in New York harbor and nearly wandered into a narrow waterway notorious for industrial pollution.


Bulb

UK: Thousands call in sick and enjoy the sun

The lure of holiday sunshine was too much for thousands of workers yesterday, who swapped suits for shorts and "pulled a sickie".

A specialist legal advisory service for businesses said more than 60 per cent of its calls were from employers concerned about absenteeism.

Britain's beaches recorded higher than normal numbers of visitors and those who did venture into the office found themselves able to find a seat on trains and buses that are usually packed.

With cool fronts expected to bring temperatures down to about 64F (18C) over the next few days, it seems that some workers could not resist taking advantage of the continuing hot spell, with temperatures reaching 77F (25C) in the Solent yesterday.

Magic Wand

Jail For 'Witch' Pensioner

A pensioner dubbed the "original neighbour from hell" has been jailed for six months.

Dorothy Evans - who said she was a witch and threatened to cast spells on her victims - will serve a minimum of three months before being freed.

The 81-year-old was jailed today for harassment and six breaches of her Asbo.

Judge Roderick Denyer QC said the punishment was reduced because of her age.

He said: "In spite of your age and infirmities, over a period of 10 years you made life a misery for your neighbours."

Evans had a string of previous convictions involving neighbourhood disputes: four for harassment and eight for breaching a restraining order, between 1999 and 2005.

Arrow Down

Asians rate sex lives so-so: survey

Asia's lovers rate sex far less highly than those elsewhere around the globe, spend less time having intercourse and are less likely to reach orgasm, according to a survey released Tuesday.

Coffee

Seattle Man Charged in Bizarre Duck Case

EVERETT, Wash. - A Seattle man has been charged with a slew of crimes that involved an alleged shoplifting, assaults and a pet duck named Mr. Peepers. Snohomish County Deputy Prosecutor Paul Stern on Thursday charged Kenneth Blaine Quinlan, 35, with two counts of third-degree assault and one count each of vehicular assault and hit-and-run.

Heart

Bullet removed from Vietnamese soldier's heart 39 years after war

Doctors have removed a bullet from the heart of a Vietnamese soldier nearly four decades after he was shot by U.S. troops during the Vietnam war, doctors said Monday.

Le Dinh Hung, 60, underwent surgery at a Hanoi hospital on Friday and is recovering quickly, said Dr. Nguyen Sinh Hien, who spent three hours operating on Hung.

"It is the strangest case that I have ever seen,'' Hien said. "Normally a person with a bullet in his heart would die immediately if they didn't have surgery right away.''

Hung said he feels much better now, and the pain in his chest had eased.

"I was very lucky to survive,'' he said from his hospital bed. "People believe in their fate and I do too.''

Black Cat

Prozac maker launches antidepressant for dogs

Eli Lilly and Co., which built its reputation on insulin and the antidepressant Prozac, launched its first prescription medicine for pets on Friday.

The company will market Reconcile, a beef-flavoured chewable tablet that helps treat dogs for separation anxiety, in the United States.

The medicine is supposed to be used in combination with behaviour management training to help dogs that have difficulty being separated from their owners or family members.