"Let me be perfectly clear," said Trudeau while standing in a puddle of his own urine.
"Those with unacceptable views shouldn't have money. These evil working-class people being allowed to buy things and eat is a threat to public safety and national security. Starting today, all ATMs will screen people for unacceptable views before they can withdraw funds."Questions asked by the ATM will include:
- How would you describe your political views?
- What are your pronouns?
- Do you think Trudeau is the most powerful and masculine leader ever?
- Do you, or have you ever, listened to Joe Rogan — and enjoyed it?
- What lives matter?
- Do you live on land stolen from indigenous peoples?
- Do you own a semi-truck?
- Do you worship any other god besides Trudeau?
Trudeau has promised to crush this parallel economy and make the remaining protestors bow to his divine will — as soon as he puts on a pair of dry trousers.
This woman - er, wymxn? - was pulled over for driving alone in the carpool lane. But she's got a surefire way to get out of the ticket: her preferred pronoun is they!
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