© Babylon Bee
"The best thing we can do to slow the spread of climate change and sea-level rise is to wear a mask," said Dr. Antonio Grouci, the newly appointed head of the EPA. "You breathe out deadly CO2 all day and that makes the planet sad. If there's a chance masks could catch even one CO2 particle and prevent it from entering the atmosphere, we must take that precaution."
CNN then breathlessly reported that masks must now be worn by all people who don't want to die in a cataclysmic flood or a killer volcano due to climate change.
Several states are also issuing lockdown orders to prevent people from going outside and polluting the atmosphere with their existence.
Several liberals who were interviewed said they were just happy to have a scientific reason to wear a mask again.
Reader Comments
I, for one, refuse to bow to a world where anyone other than free and sovereign control it; where those souls work together to make this tough life on earth a little less hard.
If someone like the PTB/Team FUKUSraHell come for me now, you sorry humorless (and humanless) sacks of shit - well, I, like countless other SOTTypes* realize where the final line between tyranny and freedom is drawn. Remember the ending of 'V for Vendetta'? Well, it ain't gonna be like that! It's gonna be like this - as it is and will be.
Also, realize that beyond 'fighting the good fight', even we SOTTypes can't do much about what will happen (but we'll ever keep trying) that what we do here will resonate through eternity, and if you, that poor soul placed between the anvil and the hammer, are not fully and happily upon the side of Satan, you WILL back off before you ever are ordered to begin. Of few things I am certain. but this is one: if you don't change course, you will regret it.
R.C.
*Yes, our sources have advised us that you are aware of the terminology.
RC
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A man was observed recently wearing a mask and beating a drum loudly and wearing flippers on the streets of NYC.
He was asked, 'Why are you doing this?'
'To keep the tigers away,' was his reply.
'But there are no tigers in NYC.'
'See?'
'It works!'
Yes, stupidity (and cowardice) works for a time.
And then it catches up with you.
ned,
out
RC
All we need do, is determine (scientifically, once and for ALL) the speed of light.
Then, we just ALL move faster than that.. That pre-determined specific. That solid boundary of right and wrong.
It is all downhill from there.
Obey your master.
And get much faster.
Only multi-taskers (dedicated technorats) need apply. All else will die, due to a 'lack of evolution', a lack of speed, a lack of appropriate desire....
Confuse Us says:
' Sell your soul, buy more science bullshit.'
This is good advice.
?
???
ned,
out
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