Prince Andrew
© WPA/GettyPrince Andrew
The Duke of York claims he couldn't possibly have been in Buckingham Palace being interviewed for Newsnight because he was in South Wales at the time chowing down on a Football Special.

Allegations that Prince Andrew gave a 'car crash' interview to the BBC's Emily Maitlis have been dealt with head-on by the Duke of York.

"I distinctly remember not being there at the time," he explained.

"I was actually in an extremely strange place when the alleged interview took place - Wales. To be precise, the Swansea Burger King.

"I know that sounds completely made up but that's the very reason I remember it so distinctly - it was just so unusual for me to be in such a random and yet highly specific place.

"I even recall what I ate - the Football Special; I remember thinking 'what on Earth have these bizarre onion doughnut things got to do with football?'"

Prince Andrew also deftly fielded the accusation that he sat opposite Ms Maitlis in a chair.

"There's a problem with the chair aspect of the story," he said. "I haven't actually been able to sit on chairs since the Falklands.

"As you might imagine, being shot at is a terrifying experience. I clenched my buttocks so tightly as it happened that they are now permanently squeezed together - if I attempt to use a chair I simply roll right off.

"I've got absolutely no balance in the bottom department.

"It's just as well I'll probably never have to sit on the throne as it would be a disaster for all concerned!"