London - (Cash-for-Honors Mess): Residents of a wealthy North London enclave are frantic following the discovery of an unexploded nuclear device in safe deposit vaults owned by business pals of Lord Levy.

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©The Spoof
Operation Rize: more nuclear devices may be hidden in the Hampstead depository


The suspicious device was found yesterday in a police raid on the Hampstead strongroom located just yards away from ex-London Mayor Ken Livingstone's home.

The bomb was hard-wired into the concrete vault which straddles a key tunnel connected to the 500 million gallon London Ring Main water supply.

"We think that this is how Margaret Thatcher gagged the continuation of the Westmonster Homes-for-Votes gerrymandering investigation," a bomb squad source said today.

The police swoop has already netted over £1 billion in used cash, scores of priceless stolen works of art, exquisite jewellery, half a tonne of crack cocaine and enough firearms to kit out an entire SAS battalion.

Police from the Met's Serious & Disorganised Crime Agency likened the find to an Alladin's Cave of criminal goodies related to 20 years of unsolved crimes.

"We always knew it was just a matter of time before we found the evidence to nail the old whore," a Met top brass official commented wryly.