Don't Panic! Lighten Up!

Being a horrible bastard the key to longevity, finds report

Waterford Whispers News
Wed, 24 May 2023 19:23 UTC

WHETHER you're a Nazi war criminal, a kiddie fiddler or someone who sings louder than the band at a concert, a link has been found in a brand-new study which found that the key to longevity is simply being a horrible bastard.

The newly published paper stated that the absolute dregs of society live well into their 80s and 90s and advised carrying out the most heinous of crimes if you want to become a centennial.

"Rolf Harris, Robert Mugabe, Henry Kissinger, Rupert Murdoch, Jimmy Saville; all lived depraved horrible existences and yet managed to see the right side of 80," the report found, "in fact, we haven't found a Nazi war criminal in hiding who didn't surpass 90 years on this planet".

The findings suggested the reason for the link between 'being a cunt' and 'living a long and fruitful life' is down to the fact that heaven nor hell wants them, and they are lumped into a type of limbo phase post-70 thanks to a huge backlog of disgusting pricks currently residing on the earth.

Citing the report's findings people from all over the world have now decided to carry out awful crimes in the hopes of guaranteeing themselves another decade or two.

"I just stabbed a homeless man to death on a street," American singer Cher announced on her Twitter earlier today, "then later I heard about the findings of this new report and I don't feel so bad now".

Reader Comments

PedroCarpintero · 2023-05-25T05:11:05Z

There's a big truth in this article:

We are here on Earth in order to pay back our karma... the more karma we have, the more time is required to pay it off... It is both a punishment and a mercy at the same time.

PedroCarpintero · 2023-05-25T05:29:11Z

PedroCarpintero In addition, evil bastards are often required on Earth in order to make other not-so-evil bastards repay back their own karma... Why keep making more of them when you can use the same horrible bastards to level karmic accounts for everyone!

codis · 2023-05-25T13:44:45Z

Why not the next article over there at that website : [Link]

'May Make People Look More Attractive Than They Actually Are': New Alcohol Warnings Revealed

Just the second one down the list.

Dwoods44 · 2023-05-27T12:46:09Z

It isn't funny? It should raise a question to you. How does Pelosi, Klaus, Feinstein, Kissinger, Gates maintain their youthful vitality, if you can call it that. Could it be adrenochrome? Baby stem cells?

Many great classical musicians seem to live long lives? I am thinking of Itzhak Perlman, but he is not that old.

PedroCarpintero · 2023-05-27T14:16:58Z

Dwoods44 I remembered hearing in my youth that there was a case in China, in a certain factory, a certain job task was always filled by people who lived way into their 100s... Years later, studies were done, and they it was discovered that the particular job required bending wire in such a way that the movement of the arms opened up the heart cavity... When playing violin, something similar happens with the arms extended and yet relaxed circling around the heart area... Maybe there is a connection...

Some say that we all only get a certain number of heart-beats per life... I can imagine the hearts rarely beat for these cold-blooded bastards.

PedroCarpintero · 2023-05-27T14:35:20Z

Dwoods44 If such types are not chowing down on actual human glands in order to get their adrenochrome fix, then by all means they are getting enough psychic food from all the hyper-stress hormones that human beings are pumping through their over-worked bodies... A non-stop pressure that these elites are obliging humanity to suffer.

Dwoods44 · 2023-05-29T12:46:56Z

PedroCarpintero Thanks for that connection that the psychopaths feed off the negative energy that they evoke in the sheeple. One student of Ouspensky said you can receive energy at a fear inducing movie from the audience.

PedroCarpintero · 2023-05-29T12:58:35Z

Dwoods44 Hey Woody D! I think people should be a lot more aware of psychic vampirism, on all its levels and dynamics... It is the on-going open-air robbery that is occurring in every drama and tragedy on the planet...

A young child may grow up and receive no attention at home except scoldings and telling offs... years later, the same child now as adult, he has been conditioned to believe that the only way he “fits” in society is by provoking the anger and hatred of his fellow-man... by being a “bad boy”... He is just seeking his psychic food that he has become accustomed to digesting all his life.

Pretty much all people are unconsciously wired to give and receive envy... We unconsciously consider ourselves as “success stories” if we are able to provoke and wake up the envy of those around us... We may be trying to seduce a woman or impress someone with our musical skills... but on a deeper level, we may have no interest in that particular woman but just want others to look at us and feel jealous and envious... we may have no deep passion for the music we are playing, but just want others to look and say: “Wow! What a great musician!”

In reality, we all unconsciously feed off one another, on very small scales... Even “the lottery” is a small-scale “one wins, everyone else suffers” based system... and those who buy into the lottery, are also buying into the same system of world misery. The psychopaths however are like the masters of this game, feeding off everyone else's misery... One thing is to try and stop the psychos... but another technique could be to try and get everyone to wake up from this subtle psychic vampirism that is the secret psychic food of all social interactions.

Dwoods44 · 2023-05-30T14:55:23Z

PedroCarpintero I agree that part of waking up is seeing "psychic vampirism", as well as psychopathy, narcissim, borderline personality disorder in the people you interact with. Interactions with these people suck your energy and bring you down toward their level.

In general, we are raised to not see evil and to see other people as similar to us. It takes meeting some of these people and having enough character to not be gaslit into believing you are the problem to be detached and less affected.

hobnyeba · 2023-05-28T09:01:53Z

How disappointing. My greatest wish is to make horrible bastards even crazier to expedite their downfall. I suppose I ascribe to the philosophy of vitalism (feel fully and transmute), but with a stoic misunderstanding (the wish for a natural moral order). Though, I've more or less abandoned this odd hybrid for closed-minded authoritarianism (at least against sadists, of whom there are some intolerable number). Towards the majority of the population I ascribe to the philosophy of a fox or chameleon (trick them into thinking I'm something like them), and towards the enlightened I ascribe to something like dependent larceny (though purely ideological in nature).

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Don't Panic! Lighten Up!

Being a horrible bastard the key to longevity, finds report

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