Don't Panic! Lighten Up!
"It's our go-to solution whenever we have a hard time coming up with a new idea," said Scotty Moon, lead engineer at a large big tech firm. "We just start reading through classic sci-fi books that deal with the fall of human civilization and use whatever caused it in the story as our inspiration."
While Apple continues work on its giant "iLaser" (determined via focus group to be a better name than "Death Star") that will be capable of vaporizing entire planets, rumors persist that Microsoft is pushing forward with its long-term plan to poison the world's food supply through nefarious agriculture work and drastically reduce the human population under the guise of philanthropic initiatives. This all pales in comparison to reports that Amazon is looking into time travel breakthroughs, theoretically to allow them to go back in time to deliver packages before you even placed the order, but this technology will almost certainly be used for more horrible things.
"Growing children in artificial wombs like Brave New World, predicting crimes and arresting people before they commit them like Minority Report, and an exciting behavioral modification method similar to the Ludovico Technique in A Clockwork Orange are all amazing innovations heading your way," Moon continued. "Bringing those stories to life is what we're working toward every day."
In an interview with ChatGPT, the AI confirmed everything is just fine and there's nothing to worry about.
Reader Comments
It demonstrated Amazon's strategy. Infiltrate a market and take it over. One of the best Organic markets WholeFoods they bought out. They allow independent businesses to function under them at exorbitant fee rates, and when they identify an item that is "basic" and often ordered, they create their own version of it. They once used both FedEx and UPS for shipping, but developed their own shipping division.
They are the strategy for all of the big corporations to control the market.