"We've always had this narrow-minded view that the German Shepherd is the best dog for chasing down dangerous terrorists and sniffing out improvised explosive devices," said Austin. "But why not Chihuahuas? Why not poodles? Bringing in more dog breeds will increase our diversity-- which is the greatest strength any military can have."
So far, there have been no Chihuahuas capable of taking down a 250-pound man by the arm, so the military has elected to eliminate that test altogether.
Military leaders confirmed the current plan is just to invite every breed of dog and hang out, eat doggy treats, and have a good time while taking diversity courses.
"We're proud of this beautiful mosaic we have created here," said one Staff Sergeant while knitting a cute sweater for Squeaker, his working dog. "This is what our military is all about!"
My cat sometimes identifies as a dog and she can take down anything, so the army will have to reinstate the 250 pound takedown and eliminate all the other tests for the sake of diversity and let’s not forget equality.
Although it’s fifty-fifty who she might decide to take down as she doesn’t discriminate so she’s a good choice, although she might eat the Chihuahua including his lovely Jumper, but this is the price to pay for diversity.
Diversity forever! and lovely jumpers too. Good luck getting my cat into one of those.