Crying PIIGGY Bank
© SoTT.net
There are so many challenges involved with a debt crisis; the late night printing of cash, the lack of sleep, and the endless mounds of dirty laundry exposed by the alternative media. If your currency has become adversely affected by screaming PIIGS and you're not fortunate enough to be one of the insiders who profit from it, life can seem desperate. When you have colicky countries that cry incessantly, you become even more fatigued, stressed, and frustrated. In most cases, there is nothing wrong with your country, and the crying is not a cause for alarm. After all, your little one is probably just not used to life outside of its borders. PIIGS are easily startled by new sounds of Bank meetings behind closed doors, feel over-stimulated, and are quite unsettled. Greece's recent turmoil could serve as a warning for the other Eurozone countries in dire financial straits: Portugal, Ireland, Italy and Spain. Luckily, there are some tried and true remedies that you can try to calm your screaming PIIGS during a debt crisis.
1. Swaddle Your PIIGS - Securely wrapping your PIIGS in a cuddly blanket, also known as swaddling, makes them feel protected and comforted. Swaddling is an old remedy for crying PIIGS which wraps the PIIGS tightly in a blanket, preventing the PIIGS from spending its money as it chooses, over-stimulating the Euro. If you don't know how to swaddle, you can perfect your technique with a swaddling blanket, such as the Miracle Blanket. However, one blanket to avoid is the one manufactured by Goldman Sachs, Bank of America-Merrill Lynch and Barclays Bank of London who deliberately upset little PIIGS to profit from the resulting currency fluctuations.

2. Soothe with White Noise - Many PIIGS just need a reminder of the safety and serenity they felt while being in charge of their own sovereign nation. Before your PIIGS were swallowed up by the EU, s/he was surrounded by the constant comfort of white noise, such as fiscal control and the sound of blood pumping through the economy. Compact discs (CD's) are available that can recreate white noise and are effective at soothing cranking or crying PIIGS.

3. Take a Car Ride - Many stockbrokers can attest that taking a car ride is a highly effective way to calm screaming PIIGS. The hum of the motor coupled with the car movement is comforting to PIIGS, distracts them from the speculative hedge funds and the crying will stop quickly.

4. Run the Printing Press - Your dog may run when the printing press is switched on, but PIIGS love the sound. The hum of the printing press and knowledge that billions of Euros will be created out of thin air to stem the crisis provides a constant rhythm to the PIIGS and the market which is settling and soothing.

5. Rock Away the Tears - Rocking chairs have been a nursery staple for centuries, and there is a good reason why. Little ones love the steady rocking motion while being close to their EU mother or IMF father. It helps to make a PIIGS feel safe, secure, and loved. It is also good for you, allowing you to stop your PIIGS's tears while spending quiet time alone to think up imaginative ways your PIIGS will be able to afford to pay off loans that are double the interest rates of its siblings. If the PIIGS are still fussy while rocking, try dimming the lights so it is dark and quiet. Then swaddle the PIIGS to recreate a womb-like environment.

6. Use the Emergency Video Conference - PIIGS are soothed by action. It may sound funny or perhaps a bit ridiculous, but placing your PIIGS's struggling leaders on a video screen at short notice with a few others who can looked concerned provides a monotonous soothing experience for PIIGS. This is usually successful in quieting crying PIIGS.

7. Try a Soft Song - PIIGS love soothing sounds. Sometimes it just takes the soothing sound of their leader or Angela Merkel singing a sweet lullaby to stop the crying. It really makes no difference if you can sing or not - it is the soft, hushed sound of a familiar voice that will stop the crying.

8. Invest in Severe Austerity Measures - PIIGS love to be told what to do by their EU and IMF parents. Even though the rest of the working population suffers from the devastating impact of public sector wage cuts, freezing pensions and hiking taxes, their leaders feel safe, warm, and secure. This is a very familiar place for them. The IMF has found that wearing a troubled country around their neck, allows the little ones to be bundled close to them. Their head will rest against the IMF's chest and give away complete control of their breathing and heartbeat.
In conclusion, calming screaming PIIGS doesn't have to end with everyone in tears. By swaddling, soothing with white noise, taking a car ride, printing money, rocking, using the emergency video conference, singing, you'll be able to calm PIIGS in no time and relieve the stress caring for and loving fussy struggling high-interest debt-laden PIIGS.