Don't Panic! Lighten Up!

Restaurants now requiring proof of Ukraine support

The Babylon Bee
Sun, 13 Mar 2022 08:43 UTC

As the war between Russia and Ukraine rages on, restaurants across the country are now requiring proof of Ukraine support in order to eat in their restaurants. Patrons are being asked to produce a photo ID and open up their social media profiles to prove they have been adequately supporting Ukraine by posting flags and sharing the latest wartime propaganda.

"We need to support Ukraine as it is the latest thing we are supposed to support," said the manager of one NYC cafe. "If you aren't adequately supporting the thing that everyone says we are supposed to be supporting at this time, you don't deserve to eat in my store!"

When asked about whether he would still require vaccine cards due to the pandemic, he stared blankly and said: "The what? I'm not sure what you're talking about."

Patrons who don't have adequate evidence of Ukraine support will then have to show adequate evidence of Russia hatred before entering.

Reader Comments

LadyRad · 2022-03-13T13:19:08Z

If only it was a joke… just today saw a FB post of some sheep in Manhattan posting a pic of a store with a picture of a framed letter “Z” inside asking if it was a show of support for the Russians… can’t make this up

JeffersonsSpirit · 2022-03-13T16:38:27Z

LadyRad love your handle LadyRad! One (who is not a libtard) would maybe think...is that "Z" really supporting Valdimir Zutin or Vlyodimir Zalynsky? I'm sure it was for that evil Zutin!

YesAllTruthHurts · 2022-03-13T14:25:27Z

Well, the majority in the U.S. believes that You can flunk a Rohrschach test. So I would not entirely discount something like this could not happen.

JeffersonsSpirit · 2022-03-13T16:44:39Z

YesAllTruthHurts making someone pass a Rorschach test is racist! Ink blots are always colored on a white colonialist background representing the white cloth of the kkk and white people get to define what they see in the colored areas ..they never have to say what they see in the white areas...never self-questioning. Rorschach is a German name and that means he was a Nazi. He was a man too which means he was a mysoginist transphobe pushing the patriarchy. We need to ban these racist tests and implement a scratch-and-sniff test shaped like a sexual organ that when you scratch it it shows your new gender. We should give this new equitable test to pre-Kindergarten children to save them!

Yupo · 2022-03-14T20:16:44Z

JeffersonsSpirit You're just getting started, right? Write the textbook!

YesAllTruthHurts · 2022-03-14T21:56:19Z

JeffersonsSpirit There is more to it. Why is it called "Black on White" and not "White under Black"?

Yupo · 2022-03-15T01:18:53Z

YesAllTruthHurts There is need to address the highway system. Blacktop. White on black. White controls and instructions. Foundational and systemic!

JeffersonsSpirit · 2022-03-15T15:38:26Z

YesAllTruthHurts oooo...that's good..I mean.."true"

JeffersonsSpirit · 2022-03-15T15:39:47Z

Yupo ha! The Poke a Joke of a Woke Guidebook!

Psstoffgoy · 2022-03-14T23:11:45Z

When asked about whether he would still require vaccine cards due to the pandemic, he stared blankly and said: "The what? I'm not sure what you're talking about."

About sums it up

Baybars · 2022-03-15T17:16:44Z

Psstoffgoy Yes, the 'covid' chip has been removed from the NPC's and replaced with the 'ukraine' chip. The media is very efficient in performing that operation.