© The Babylon Bee
"We've found that mental wellness is greatly increased when people take a few minutes each day to log off of Facebook and Twitter, take a stroll out to the driveway, and just crush all of their electronic devices forever," one study intern told reporters. "Then stare pensively at the beautiful weather and enjoy your newfound freedom from the toxicity that permeates the internet."
The study showed that people who log off of Twitter to escape the latest political or social drama and then permanently destroy their smartphones are "far more likely" to lead positive, fulfilling lives than those who stay logged into the service. Likewise, the research showed that avoiding a drawn-out Facebook debate is best done by logging out, taking a few deep breaths, and then crushing your laptop with an industrial vehicle.
"It's science," they concluded.
Reader Comments
As if they would let anyone destroy their precious Pharma business. Not even a gifted gay transgender autistic person of color !
“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”
― Rumi
Unfortunately, the world is ruled by people who want to change it. Which means us , not themselves.
Truthfully - the LAST people I'd listen to are 'mental health experts'. They are, afterall, the people who prescribe all the anti-depressants. I suspect most of them got into the field in order to figure out their own screwed up brains.
Yes, I know it's satire.....but still.