Welcome to the no-win zone.

Rosie O'Donnell and Bill O'Reilly were back in the proverbial ring over the weekend for round two of their burgeoning feud - this one, at least, over a slightly more highbrow matter than the drinking habits of a beauty queen.

The battle of the media bigwigs kicked off last Wednesday, when the View cohost used her televised podium to wax critical on the political ramifications of the recent capture of a group of British sailors by the Iranian military.

On the show, and in a subsequent posting on her Rosie.com blog, the chat queen insinuated that the detainment of the soldiers was masterminded by the U.S. government and that the action would later be used as a pawn and justification for a future declaration of war on Iran.

Her controversial statements and sympathy for the "dehumanized" terrorists caught the eagle eye of the Fox News pundit and were replayed on The O'Reilly Factor's Thursday edition. During the show, O'Reilly made some insinuations of his own, calling O'Donnell "irresponsible" and "hateful" and imploring ABC to fire the newest View addition, à la Bill Maher, for her leftist leanings.

Unfortunately, O'Reilly forgot to compare notes with Donald Trump - O'Donnell doesn't take feuds, or calls for her resignation, lightly.

The View gal spoke out in a posting to her Website Sunday, proving her literacy and equating O'Reilly with George Orwell's 1984 sidekick Parsons, "a fattish but active man of paralyzing stupidity, a mass of imbecile enthusiasms - one of those completely unquestioning, devoted drudges."

O'Donnell went on to say that O'Reilly's termination salvo was likely the result of a bruised ego, and a ratings grab, but not the result of at-odds political sentiments.

"when joy and i/ alluded to bill oreillys/ sex scandal/ on the view/ we were told the following day/ that we couldn't bring it up anymore/ or else bill o/ would 'go after' all the hosts of the view,'" she wrote in her trademark grammar- and capitalization-free style.


Well, maybe not all the hosts.

Last week, O'Reilly stood up for "young Elisabeth Hasselbeck" who he believed had been "hectored" by O'Donnell and cohost Joy Behar, "two of the most far-left women in the United States of America."

Good to see Trump doesn't have the market cornered on grandiose statements.

O'Donnell continued on, saying she caught his "Rosie spin" segment from Friday's show and that O'Reilly had "edited my statements/ to make it seem/ as he wanted." The View's Friday show, as it happens, was not live, thereby denying O'Donnell a chance to fight back outside the confines of the information superhighway.

"like 1984/ molding the facts/ 2 suit the needs of big brother rupert."

That'd be Fox honcho Rupert Murdoch.

The onetime Queen of Nice closed out her written treatise with a plea: "question authority/ america/ b4 its too late/ spin spin spin...we r awake."

While the blog may be back in O'Reilly's court, O'Donnell at least has one ally on her side: young Hasselbeck.

The conservative cohost told People last week that despite their on air sparring, she and O'Donnell are actually the bestest of buds.

"Everyone's always thinking Ro and I don't get along, we''enemies,'" she told the magazine. "Politically, we're rivals. That is clear. However, we are personally friends. We are on email all day long with each other."

"Under these blonde highlights I consider myself a pretty tough person. So don't cry for me, Argentina."

Or O'Reilly.