The Emperor’s New Clothes
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"And so the Emperor set off under the high canopy, at the head of the great procession. It was a great success. All the people standing by and at the windows cheered and cried, "Oh, how splendid are the Emperor's new clothes. What a magnificent train! How well the clothes fit!" No one dared to admit that he couldn't see anything, for who would want it to be known that he was either stupid or unfit for his post? None of the Emperor's clothes had ever met with such success. But among the crowds a little child suddenly gasped out, "But he hasn't got anything on." And the people began to whisper to one another what the child had said. "He hasn't got anything on." "There's a little child saying he hasn't got anything on." Till everyone was saying, "But he hasn't got anything on." The Emperor himself had the uncomfortable feeling that what they were whispering was only too true. "But I will have to go through with the procession," he said to himself. So he drew himself up and walked boldly on holding his head higher than before, and the courtiers held on to the train that wasn't there at all."

[From: 'The Emperor's New Clothes' ['Kejserens nye Klæder']
by Hans Christian Andersen (1805 - 1875), version by Stephen Corrin (1964)]
I increasingly feel like the little child in the crowd as Britain's climate-change Charivari winds through the corridors of power self-belittling those who have no chance of consummating their marriage to ideas that are becoming more far-fetched by the day.

Just stand back with me for a moment from the obsessive clamour of the times. What have we in this increasingly ludicrous procession of the Great and the Good?

First, we have a leader, Gordon Brown, who along with the other heads of the G8 countries, has the hubris to declaim that we have "agreed to limit global warming to 2C above pre-industrial levels", as if climate were neatly controlled by a single dimmer light switch that can be twiddled up and down at the whim of pompous politicians. The nonsense is beyond belief, never mind beyond science. The emperor has no clothes;

Then, secondly, we have a Met Office claiming that it can predict the weather - yes, the weather - for 25 km2 blocks of the UK in - wait for it - 70 years time. It hasn't even got this summer right! Think again for a moment - this is stark raving bonkers. The emperor has no clothes;

Thirdly, we are about to have a White Paper on Wednesday from Ed Miliband, the laughably-named Energy and Climate Change Secretary, which will require the construction of over 7,000 wind turbines by the year 2020. Think once again. This will involve building two giant wind turbines per day, including Saturdays and Sundays, for the next ten years, an impossibility. And the projected cost for you and me? "This weekend it also emerged that the renewable energy strategy is likely to add £200 to the average household's utility bills. The strategy paper will say Britain needs to spend more than £100 billion on renewable energy infrastructure by 2020, including 7,000 wind turbines. This money will come from a levy on energy bills, which will have to rise by about 20%." Splendid! It is rubbish on stilts. The emperor has no clothes;

But even worse, the Government is threatening to offer so-called 'green mortgages' "to fund the installation of solar panels, wind turbines, and other energy-saving measures. Households will be able to take out the low-interest loans to pay for double-glazing, loft and cavity wall insulation and even heat pumps, which extract energy from below the ground." This all sounds tickety-boo until you remember that, as individuals, we are a nation already deep in debt, that banks are loathe to lend anything in the current crisis, and that a significant percentage of the population is deemed too risky for any type of loan. I thus look forward, with interest, to a whole batch of sub-prime 'green mortgages'. Help! The emperor has no clothes;
Maximilien Robespierre or a Saint-Just
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Yet, stand back a moment further, to take note of the darker side of this ill-judged proposal: "Even listed properties, or those in conservation areas, could be affected with the government considering easing planning restrictions to allow for energy saving measures. Householders who refuse to take part in the scheme could face higher council tax rates and, when they sell, the threat of raised stamp duty for prospective buyers." Ah yes! Virtue and Terror. Revolution! Do you not sense the early hand of a budding Maximilien Robespierre or a Saint-Just [pictured right]? How this would appeal to the two Eds, Miliband and Balls. We are at a dangerous political moment. The emperor has no clothes - but the 'Supreme Being of Global Warming' must still be worshipped at all costs;

And, finally, of course, we have His Greenship Himself, the Prince of Wales, who even senior Government figures now regard as seriously "misguided" and even "fatuous". His 'clothes' are surely made of the very finest of fabrics, a double-breasted suit spun from pure air and cucumber-collected sunshine. This emperor-in-waiting has even fewer clothes.
Through the Looking Glass with Alice
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In Britain, it is startlingly clear that we have finally passed Through the Looking Glass with Alice. The Red Queen, like our naked emperor, is berating us to believe "six impossible things before breakfast".

But I am firmly with Alice: "There's no use trying," she said. "One can't believe impossible things."

Just so.

How urgently we need that little child in the throng of self-delusional adults, crying: "But he hasn't got anything on."

I believe it is time for a political force in the UK to uncover the nakedness of the climate-change political procession.

And, at a mere 1.87% of world carbon emissions, a percentage falling fast, how very unimportant we are.