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Tsipras applies for bailout out of bailout talks

AS Greek prime minister Alexis Tsipras entered his 27th hour of being chained to a radiator in a Belgium basement, the politician requested a bailout out of the Greek bailout talks, WWN can exclusively reveal.

Arriving in Brussels yesterday, Tsipras was under the impression he would enter negotiations with EU leaders regarding a bailout programme for Greece, but upon entering the room was immediately struck by Angela Merkel on the back of the head with a blunt object; believed to be Enda Kenny.

Waking several hours later, Tsipras realised his invite to Brussels was merely a sinister trap plotted by several European leaders, lead by the German chancellor.


It's your turn now! Dog steals water hose and chases her owner

Apparently a fresh shower on the hot summer day is invigorating, but not that much!


Oh the irony! Stormtroopers escort 6,500 Star Wars fans to secret concert

© Michael Buckner/Getty Images for Disney/AFP
July 10, 2015, San Diego, California.
Dozens of actors dressed as stormtroopers entered the conference hall during the 'Star Wars: The Force Awakens' panel at Comic-Con in San-Diego on Friday to escort all 6,500 people inside to a secret concert.

The Imperial soldiers took the excited fans to a stage, which had been erected near the water at the Embarcadero Marina Park in the Port of San Diego.


Hay bale-jumping sheep show off woolly acrobatics


Sheep jumping from bale to bale
A YouTube user shared footage of a talented flock of sheep showing off their acrobatic skills by leaping from hay bale to hay bale.

Karen McKovuson posted a YouTube video showing a trio of sheep on a farm jumping between hay bales in a display of woolly athleticism.

The video is believed to have been filmed in Ireland.

Red Flag

Skinnydippers in Scotland are caught out when red kites steal their underpants and socks to build their nests


Surprise!: Baffled skinnydippers were stunned to discover their missing underwear in the nest of a pair of local birds of prey
Skinnydippers at a Scottish beauty spot were left completely stumped when their underwear vanished while they were swimming.

But a gamekeeper at the popular bathing spot near Glen Esk in Angus, Scotland, solved the mystery when he chanced upon the nest of a local pair of red kites.

The birds of prey had stolen the swimmers' underpants and socks to help make their nest .


Comfy home: Two red kites were discovered in the nest at the Scottish beauty spot, Gannochy Estate
The gamekeeper took photographs of the nest, which had been built with a selection of socks and a pair of navy underpants.

'Our trainee gamekeeper discovered the nest and we rang the RSPB to have them ringed and tagged,' said Dave Clement, head keeper at the Gannochy Estate.

'What was really interesting was to see socks and underwear from a popular swimming spot actually in the nest and the surrounding trees.


The Russians are coming! ABBA parody mocks Swedish 'invasion' paranoia (VIDEO)

This video is from last year, but it's been hot in Russian internet-land lately...

Another reason Washington is losing the propaganda war: Russians have a better sense of humor than the policy-wonks manning the info trenches in the West.

It also helps that only Truth can be genuinely humorous...


Comment: See also:

The hunt for red October is on! 'Russian sub in Sweden' story is ridiculous

Putin denies dancing to Abba hits


Democalypse 2016: Jon Stewart mocks Chris Christie's presidential bid

© Comdey Central
"Daily Show" host calls Christie's excuse for lack of support in home state New Jersey "the saddest thing I have ever heard"

Another presidential candidate just means more fresh meat for Jon Stewart, who has been having a field day with so many interesting personalities joining the race for the White House.

And with 17 major candidates currently in the running, "there is already a whiff of desperation," Stewart said.

The "Daily Show" host's latest target was New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, who officially declared as a candidate this week.

"Why, why, why?" the Comedy Central star asked on Wednesday night's episode as he aired Christie's laughable announcement speech.


Cheeky crow hitches lift on bald eagle in mid-flight

© Phoo Chan / Media Drum World
Taxi: The cheeky crow on board the bald eagle as he piggy backs mid-air
This chance-meeting was captured by an amateur photographer while the much larger predatory bird was trying find itself an early morning snack

This cheeky crow was pictured hitching a lift on a bald eagle's back.

Fancying a free ride, the brave black bird landed on the wings of the much larger predator mid-flight.

© Phoo Chan / Media Drum World
Hitchhiker: The crow performs a flawless landing in these incredible pictures
The surprise guest interrupted the bald eagle who was searching for an early morning snack.

Miraculously, the predator didn't even flinch and carried on as if nothing had happened.


Cattle auctioneers admit to just talking shite half the time

Auctioneers at livestock markets across the country have finally confirmed what people have suspected for years; that when it comes to selling cattle, the man with the microphone is basically talking high-speed gibberish for no good reason.

"We've been just throwing in fibbiddy bibbiddies for the laugh," said Con Harding, one of the country's most sought-after cattle auctioneers.

"Just for the fuck of it. Anytime you hear an auctioneer get up to full pelt, you're listening to about 20% information about the animal in the ring, 20% bidding, and 60% of made up words that we just throw in for the craic".

The admission has shocked livestock traders up and down the country, who for years have prided themselves on being able to understand an auctioneer, with many claiming to "know exactly what he's saying" despite today's revelation that they are in actual fact just talking pure shite.

"I feel kinda foolish right now," admitted Kieran MacCaughan, a dairy farmer from Laois who regularly attends livestock markets.

"Whenever the auctioneer started up with the 'hoobiddyboobiddythreehundredfourhundred', I'd nod along as if I was following him word for word... to learn now that they were just taking the piss out of us is pretty annoying, to be honest".

Following their admission, the cattle auctioneers association of Ireland have promised to quit the messing and just speak English when selling livestock.

Comment: Have a listen!

Mr. Potato

'Handsome' gorilla stealing women's hearts in Japan

© Higashiyama Zoo and Botanical Gardens

A gorilla who grew up in an Australian zoo is stealing the hearts of women in Japan.

Shabani the gorilla, who now lives in Higashiyama Zoo and Botanical Gardens in Nagoya, has attracted a large following of admirers who visit him because he is so 'handsome'.

CNN reported that about 100 admirers constantly surround the primate's exhibit, shouting and call his name whenever he comes out.

The hunky gorilla's rise to fame took off after mugshots of the 18-year-old animal began going viral on Twitter.

The western lowland gorilla was raised at Sydney's Taronga Zoo but moved to Japan in 2007.

Sorry ladies. He's taken. According to zoo officials, Shabani has two wives, Ai and Nene. They also said he's an excellent father to his children, Kiyomasi and Annie.