Don't Panic! Lighten Up!


Cute penguin "falls in love" with zookeeper in Japan

Matsue - Filmed at Matsue Vogel Park in Shimane Prefecture, Japan, the video shows a penguin named Sakura, who has fallen completely and utterly in love with one of the zookeepers and won't leave him alone.

As the zookeeper runs around in the zoo (as seen in the video above), little Sakura manages to "dog" (or is that "penguin"?) his every move or step. Even though her little penguin legs are so short and she does stumble occasionally, she has no problem keeping up with him all the way.

© YouTube
Sakura the penguin in Matsue Vogel Park won't leave the zookeeper alone.
Penguins apparently mate for life, but her partner passed away last year and it seems Sakura has put herself back on the market and possibly considers her zookeeper a suitable mate?

What a wonderful Valentine's Day gift for him indeed!

Apparently one version of this video clip has been watched over 150,000 times, so Sakura is becoming quite the viral little penguin indeed.

Reactions and comments to the video have been pretty much a unanimous "cute," with a whole load of "awwwww."

It is not certain, however, if said zookeeper is able to leave the zoo and go home without a cute black and white "tail" in the form of Sakura the penguin.

Distant planet terrified it might be able to someday support human life

Terrestrial planet WR 67c told reporters that it “just prays” it never develops a mild global climate hospitable to humans.
CONSTELLATION VELA - Claiming that the mere thought is an "absolute nightmare," WR 67c, a terrestrial planet from the distant Gamma Velorum star system, expressed its profound terror Wednesday at the possibility of one day gaining the capacity to sustain human life.

The 5.2-billion-year-old celestial body, which is located roughly 1,100 light years from Earth, said that for both its own sake and that of its entire solar system, it can only hope to never possess the necessary planetary characteristics and chemical elements needed to support either a deep-space human outpost or, more gravely, an entire human colony.

"Luckily, with my high levels of atmospheric sulfur dioxide, methane, and radon, there's no way any human could survive on my surface for more than a few seconds," said WR 67c, adding that it is "incredibly lucky" to have developed extremely violent and widespread volcanism in addition to its poisonous atmosphere. "But I don't know, what if I produce a magnetic field that blocks out stellar wind and cosmic radiation? What if I develop an axial tilt that fosters a mild global climate? It's terrifying to admit, but my surface temperature already sometimes drops to 120 degrees Fahrenheit at night, and their species can technically survive in that."
Gold Coins

Welcome to Bonus Street - video

As Channel 4's hit series Benefits Street draws to a close, in a fit of impatience, we present the sequel, in association with Bafta-award winning team Don't Panic. Here, the residents have more money than they know what to do with and the good times, well, they are only getting better

Who says banks don't have a sense of humor? Even when they're robbed

Idaho First Bank Logo
© Idaho First Bank
A bandit made off with $26,000 of Idaho First's money following a shootout with cops. A week later, the bank ran one of the funnier ads you'll see from a financial institution.

January 10 was typically cold in McCall, Idaho, a small resort town with nary 3,000 residents. With temperatures lingering just below freezing, Nathan Davenport decided to hit the ATM.

Literally. With his truck.

Sometime around 9 o'clock, Davenport pulled up to the ATM outside Idaho First Bank. Wearing dark clothes and a mask, he proceeded to cut the bolts off the ATM's door, then attached a chain to it and ripped the door free with his truck (a stolen truck, of course). Apparently this wasn't Davenport's first time hijacking an ATM. The caper took less than seven minutes, and Davenport split with cash totaling $26,120.

Across the street, Alex Hamilton and his girlfriend, Sara Chu, were leaving the grocery store across the way when they spotted Davenport yanking the door off the ATM. They called police, who caught up with Davenport minutes later not far from the scene of the crime.

The chase didn't last long. During the getaway, Davenport stopped his truck, got out and fired at officers, disabling the two squad cars in pursuit.
Arrow Down

New Conan O'Brien segment exposes media scripting yet again

Once again, the Conan O'Brien show has revealed countless examples of local media reading off the same script, proving that most corporate news outlets do nothing more than push national talking points.


Twin sisters separated at birth reunited thanks to YouTube video

© YouTube
Together again: Samantha and Anaïs

Twin sisters who were adopted and separated at birth were brought back together thanks to a YouTube video.

Raised on different continents, neither Samantha or Anaïs, both 27, knew that the other existed until last year.

Anaïs, a French fashion design student living in London, was left stunned when her friends came across a video featuring Samantha on YouTube and sent her a grab.

© YouTube
The original Facebook message
Shocked by their identical appearance, she did some online research and discovered they were both born in the same country and shared the same birthday.

'On February 21, 2013, I received a message via Twitter that would change my life,' explained Samantha.

'It was a mention from a stranger, letting me know that a girl named Anaïs had friended me on Facebook.
Airplane Paper

White House must address petition to deport Justin Bieber

© AFP Photo
After topping more than 100,000 signatures on "We the People," the White House is now obligated to respond to a petition to "Deport Justin Bieber and revoke his green card."

As of this afternoon, the petition had 104,700 signatures and climbing.

On all petitions, "We the People" states, "If a petition meets the signature threshold [in this case, 100,000], it will be reviewed by the Administration and we will issue a response."

The petition says about the Canadian pop star, "We the people of the United States feel that we are being wrongly represented in the world of pop culture. We would like to see the dangerous, reckless, destructive, and drug abusing, Justin Bieber deported and his green card revoked."

It continues, "He is not only threatening the safety of our people but he is also a terrible influence on our nations youth. We the people would like to remove Justin Bieber from our society."

New Zealand man fights off shark, stitches up own leg, goes to the pub, then back to work next day

James Grant... preparing to get back in the water!?
A junior doctor has recounted how he fended off a shark attack and stitched up his own wound on the beach before enjoying a pint of beer at a nearby pub.

James Grant was spearfishing with friends near Colac Bay at the base of New Zealand's South Island on Saturday when he was attacked by what he believed was a sevengill shark.

The 24-year-old was in about 2 metres (6ft) of murky water when he felt a tug on his leg, which he initially thought was a friend playing a trick on him. "I looked behind to see who it was and got a bit of a shock," he told Radio New Zealand.

He didn't see the shark and had no idea how big it was, he said, adding that he thought it could have been about 20cm (8in) across the jaw. However, he felt no fear. "[I thought] bugger, now I have to try and get this thing off my leg," he said.

He quickly made it on to rocks on the shore, where he took off the wetsuit - borrowed from a friend - and saw bites up to 5cm long.

Grant gave himself stitches using a first aid kit he kept in his vehicle for pig hunts. He and his friends then went to the Colac Bay Tavern, where he was given a bandage because he was dripping blood on the floor.

He already had a knife in his hand and stabbed at the shark. "I am not sure how effective it was. I guess it let go so something must have happened. [I] put a few nicks in it."

Juice Rap News is back! And now it's time for 'The News', featuring Sage Francis - 'cause truth rhymes

juice rap news

"The News". It's the most viral meme of reality on the planet: if it's not on "the News" it didn't happen - right? Welcome back to Season 2 of Juice Rap News, in which intrepid anchorman Robert Foster embarks on a new era of adversarial rap journalism by casting a critical eye on the paradigm that shapes our collective reality each night; featuring a smorgasbord of guests, from the stalwart General Baxter and Terence Moonseed having a friendly chat on about the Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP), to our special correspondents in Russia and the Colonies.

Meanwhile, what is going on in Finance, Show­biz and the Weather? Special surprise guests are in tow to cover all this and more, helping Robert delve deeper into this very odd phenomenon of 'The News' itself.
Mr. Potato

Which motorbike helmet is best for secret trysts? French President Hollande has spoken

A French crash helmet company has publicly thanked President Francois Hollande for wearing one of their products on his way to secret trysts with actress Julie Gayet.

Hollande, 59, was pictured wearing the 'Dexter' helmet made by French company Motoblouz on his way to clandestine meetings with his 41-year-old mistress.

Mr Hollande, on his way to a now, not so secret rendez-vous
Since the photos were published by France's Closer magazine when they exposed his affair two weeks ago, the Dexter helmets have sold out across France.

The helmet is now listed on the company's website as the Dexter President, where it is being billed as a 'Star des Medias' (Media Star).

Now Motoblouz boss Thomas Thumerelle has taken out a quarter-page ad in French daily Liberation to thank the president for choosing his product to his his face from papparazzi.

The ad reads: "Thank you Mr President - for having used our helmet for your personal protection. We salute your choice of a French-made helmet for your scooter outings. And you will find other models on our website for your future escapades."