Don't Panic! Lighten Up!


Injured donkey being nursed back to health with the help of an adorable puppy

© Pictures credited to CEN
This injured young donkey has a friend for life - in the adorable puppy that's patiently nursing him back to health.

The 4-month-old foal broke three legs after being knocked down by a car and left to die by the side of a road in Fortaleza, Brazil.

Zenith Gurgel took the mule - which she's named "Guerreirinho" (translated to "Little Warrior") into her house and has been feeding it by hand.

Comment: It's amazing how animals can sense the needs of others.

Another example: Cat adopts baby ducks


HLN TV trolled with praise for Ed... Scissorhands

While conducting an interview with supposed Snowden supporter Jon Hendren - aka @fart - HLN news failed to notice that the segment had gradually become a rousing defense of Edward Scissorhands.

The biggest news of Tuesday? The fact that NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden finally jumped on the Twitter bandwagon. Eager to join the media fray, tabloid news network HLN was desperate for any guest they could find.

Lucky for them, they stumbled upon a lone Snowden supporter going by the Twitter handle @fart, and invited him on air.

"[Twitter] shut down ISIS accounts, why do you think Snowden is any different?" host Yasmin Vossoughian asked, referring to former New York Governor George Pataki's statements that the social media platform should treat Snowden as a traitor.

"He's a hero, he's doing what any one of us should've done in that situation," @fart responded.

"He's got a voice, he's been isolated for so long. He's got valid things to say, we should listen to what he says."

Vossoughian then referred to the argument that Snowden's documents could have put American lives at risk.

"Well, you know, to say that he couldn't harm somebody with what he did - he could, absolutely, he could," @fart responded.

"But to cast him out, to make him invalid in society simply because he has scissors for hands - I mean, that's strange," he continued. "People didn't get scared until he started sculpting shrubs into dinosaur shapes and whatnot."


Trevor Noah on ISIS 9/11 coins: 'Who plagiarizes terrorism?!'

© Unknown
"The Daily Show" catalogued ISIS' deep coffers after their campaigns to loot and sell artifacts and antiquities.

ISIS is making so much money, host Trevor Noah said on Tuesday, from selling antiquities that they're are minting their own money, including dinars made of gold.

These coins apparently feature images of the Twin Towers on 9/11.

"ISIS is making 9/11 coins? You pieces of shit," Noah said. "You know the worst thing is you weren't even involved in that. Who takes credit for something you didn't even do! Who plagiarizes terrorism?!"


Texas pensioner and his dog train

© LiveLeak/Viral Video
Man drives canine companions in home-made train.
This pensioner in the US found a novel way to take all his canine companions out for a jaunt round the neighborhood, by putting each of his dogs in a carriage of his home-made train.

The man from Fort Worth, Texas, made the carriages from oil barrels, which he used to trundle the beloved rescue dogs round the neighborhood, headed by his tractor.


Bacon: A marathon of great taste - the 2nd Great Canadian Bacon Chase

© Unknown
Racers in the Great Canadian Bacon Chase sprint for a different prize: bacon.

The five kilometre race has "bacon stations" every kilometre — with an extra helping at the finish line.

Finishers can pig out at an all-you-can-eat buffet of gorgeous, fragrant bacon and pancakes.

The 2nd annual event hosted by Reid and Associates Financial Services Ltd will donate proceeds to the Kelowna Jaycees, a community group of young professionals.

Black Magic

Apocalypse now! Seventh seal opened! Azathoth and the Ancient Ones unleashed!


Cthulu, seen here rising off the eastern seaboard shortly after the release of the seventh seal
The seventh and final seal of the apocalypse was opened last week, when a Floridian man, Fidel Lopez, 'turned into a monster' and disembowelled his girlfriend, Maria Nemeth, during sexual intercourse. In a state of heavy intoxication, she uttered the name of her ex-husband, which was apparently all it took for Lopez to slay her in the most graphic way possible. Lopez smoked a cigarette after disemboweling Nemeth, and by the time he finished it she had stopped breathing, opening the seventh seal and dooming us all to eternal rule of the Ancient Ones.

With the mass refugee crisis lending a hand, the sacrifice of children by the Dark Lords and their minions continue unabated across the planet. Last week we learned that it's official US military policy to tolerate the practice of 'boy play', where boys are raped and sexually assaulted by collaborators of US occupation forces (who themselves have access to US-provided automatic weaponry) in warzones.

Pederasty, pedophilia and the forces of Neo-Babylon US military go way back, suggesting the Ancient Ones have been working on opening this seal for some time. Their success was heralded during the Abu Ghraib prison scandal in Iraq, where children were raped and photographed, their screams heard by other prisoners. The Pentagon has also reportedly been involved in the trafficking of pedophiliac pornography.


Images of this child went viral in early September when it suddenly dawned on people that dead children washing up on seashores might be a bad omen.

Comment: Yes, this article is satire. However, the hyperlinked events did actually happen as described.


A baby elephant attacks! (and then hides under his mom)

A baby elephant felt strong enough to try to attack a car with tourists in the Kruger National Park in South Africa. His grapple with his own fear is hilarious.

Mr. Potato

Best ever satirical campaigns for President of the United States


They're not much more ridiculous than the real thing.

As we make our dumb descent into the global hell that shall someday be known as the Trumpozoic era, it's helpful to remember that some presidential candidates have actually been in on their own jokes. These vary from merry pranksters who can't resist a good hoax to earnest political satirists with a real bone to pick with the system. Political theater — emphasis on the theater — often reveals insights about just how absurd our political process really is. And while the "candidates" involved may be ridiculous, they're often just more transparent versions of those who are genuinely after the brass ring.

In the midst of a campaign season that comes closer to a parody of itself than any in recent memory, here are 10 of the best satirical campaigns for president of the United States.

Mr. Potato

Ben Carson shattering stereotype about brain surgeons being smart

© Chris Keane/Landov/Reuters
Brain surgeons, long burdened with the onerous reputation of being among the smartest people in the world, are expressing relief that the Republican Presidential candidate Ben Carson is shattering that stereotype once and for all.

In interviews with brain surgeons across the country, the doctors revealed the enormous pressure they felt to live up to their profession's inflated renown for intelligence before Carson entered the race.

"When people found out I was a brain surgeon they would always assume I was some kind of a genius," said Harland Dorrinson, a neurosurgeon in Toledo, Ohio. "Now they are beginning to understand that you can know a lot about brain surgery and virtually nothing about anything else."

Dorrinson said that acquaintances used to view him as a source of wisdom on a wide range of subjects, but added, "Ever since Ben Carson said that prisons make people gay, that's really fallen off."

The brain surgeon said that he would probably contribute to Carson's campaign to keep him in the race: "every time he says something, it helps bring people's unrealistic expectations about brain surgeons back down to earth."

He said that he was cheered by Carson's pronouncement over the weekend that Muslims should not be President. "Now you can cross politics off the list of things that people will expect me to be knowledgeable about," he said. "I think I speak for a lot of brain surgeons when I say, 'Thank you, Ben Carson.' "


Security kicks out 'Death' from world's biggest arms fair in London

Security guards chased and then pinned down a protester dressed as Death at a weapons' fair in the British capital. The activist was protesting the sale of arms to countries with poor human rights records.

The man, literally dressed to kill in a black hooded robe and carrying a scythe, reportedly had to climb over a 12 - foot fence to enter the Defence and Security Equipment International exhibition on Friday.

As soon as the fearless "grim reaper" turned up at the event, he was spotted by security guards. They were obliged to break into a sweat to catch the guy in an effort to stop him from "killing the mood" for other visitors.

Comment: Just as well for 'Death' that he wasn't protesting in Police State US.