© The American Majority / Telegram
Dear reader,
I've noticed that you recently expressed some confusion about your opinions and we at American Majority would like to help you!
What follows are 10 rules for being a good boi citizen. Follow them all and you will have no problems fitting in with your fellow good boi citizens.
1, You must understand that the CIA and the FBI always, without exception, work for your very best interests. They are the loyal servants of our dear Leader Joe Biden. Even if you sometimes may not understand their motivations, please remember to not ask questions. Questions are dangerous and might lead to uncomfortable answers, which you don't want.
2, Trump is bad. There's no question about it! Trump is literally Hitler. Our dear Leader Joe Biden is the savior of America and the world!
3, Russia is bad and Putin is literally Hitler. No, I mean it, Putin's double's triple performed an ancient Mongolian ritual to bring Hitler back and he now controls Russia. Yes, we said Trump is Hitler, but again, don't ask questions. Ukraine is a bastion of freedom and democracy and Zelensky is a hero above all heroes (except for our dear Leader Joe Biden, who created this good Earth).
4, China is bad. Xi is literally Hitler. Yes, okay, but yes he is. Remember what we said about questions! Good boi! Taiwan is a bastion of freedom and democracy. Our dear Leader Joe Biden will protect Taiwan at all costs!
5, Mass media never lies. They are all owned by the same people, but those people only want the very best for you, just like the CIA and the FBI and our dear Leader Joe Biden. You can feel safe in this bubble we created for you knowing they are all taking good care of you!
6, Please refrain from outrage, unless instructed by the government and/or our dear Leader Joe Biden.
7, When instructed to be outraged, please don't forget to put the relevant flag on your social media profiles! Our dear Leader Joe Biden, who loves you all, will appreciate your effort!
8, You shall be updated on the current thing in due time, please follow mass media for such updates and act without delay! Do not fail our dear Leader Joe Biden!
9, The US State Department, the other loyal servants of our dear Leader Joe Biden, who loves freedom and democracy above all, always acts in the interests of freedom and democracy, which are, in turn, your interests. Never question their actions. After all, you like freedom and democracy, don't you? That's right, you do!
10, Terrorism is only terrorism when the terrorists aren't employees of the US State Department. Otherwise, they are to be referred to as freedom fighters and friends to our dear Leader Joe Biden. Don't worry, we will update you in due time as to who is who, so you don't have to think for yourself.
While praying to our great Leader Joe Biden isn't mandatory, it is strongly advised if you love freedom and democracy as much as He. You can also choose to read one of his many magnificent books, such as "How I Won the Battle of Gettysburg" or "Being the First Man on the Moon". It is also highly advised to hang the portraits of the above mentioned Hitlers and spit on them every time you pass by to show your love for freedom and democracy.
Congratulations, you are on your way to becoming a good boi citizen! Don't forget, if you know someone who doesn't follow the programme, report them to the nearest FBI or CIA office, so they can show them what freedom and democracy means!
*All of the rules are subject to change whenever the government feels like it or needs. Failure to comply will forfeit your good boi tennis ball. This message was approved by the US State Department and our dear Leader Joe Biden.
Reader Comments
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