Don't Panic! Lighten Up!


Police: Woman said Jesus would pay her bill

Kristi Rhines allegedly told restaurant workers Jesus Christ was on his way to pay her tab.

© UPI/Shutterstock/DeoSum
An Oklahoma woman told restaurant staff Jesus Christ would pick up her tab.
An Oklahoma woman allegedly told restaurant workers her husband, Jesus Christ, would soon arrive to pay her tab, but the holy hubby was a no-show, police said.

Lawton police said Kristi Rhines ordered food and several alcoholic drinks Friday at El Chico and later told workers she didn't have any money, but her husband would soon arrive to pay her tab.

Rhines soon clarified her husband was Jesus Christ, but she admitted the union was not solidified with a marriage license.

'Sanctioned' Chechen leader asks Germany to apologize to his horses after banning them from racing

© RIA Novosti / Said Tcarnaev
Head of the Chechen Republic Ramzan Kadyrov
The head of the Chechen Republic has ironically called the refusal to pay prize money to his horses "a disgraceful page in Germany's history" and added that German authorities will have to pay "multi-millions in compensation" over the scandal.

Ramzan Kadyrov replied to the news that his two race horses, Zazu and Dashing Home, were refused prize money after races in his usual way - by posting a comment on his Instagram account.

The top Chechen politician complained that the decision would make both horses depressed.

"After prolonged debates in the government and Bundestag, after consultations between the president and the federal chancellor they decided to deprive Zazu of the money earned by honest work and fast hooves. They also limited its freedom of movement. In Berlin they say that any horse must fall under sanctions imposed on its master and answer as if it were human," Kadyrov wrote in his comments.

"It turns out that Zazu is to blame for all the troubles that take place in the World - it was this horse who had made the decision to start wars in Iraq, Syria, Libya, Afghanistan, the decision to bomb Belgrade."



John Oliver slams SCOTUS for not allowing live video, creates hilarious reenactments, with dogs

© John Oliver/HBO
On Sunday's "Last Week Tonight" John Oliver pointed out that the Supreme Court of the United States just began their annual session. Oliver, however, is frustrated because live video coverage of the cases being argued is not permitted.

Audio clips are allowed to be recorded, however when the clips are paired with court drawings, very important country-altering decisions are reduced to bland images. Oliver has a plan to fix this (and possibly get the country to pay attention to the Supreme Court and the very important rulings that emerge): dogs.

Taking inspiration from the Internet sensation "keyboard cat," Oliver introduces animal reenactments. Watch below:

Bloodthirsty rabbit joins the long list of critters currently attacking humans!

Hilarity ensues as man Is attacked by bloodthirsty rabbit.
The laughing in the background makes it even funnier.


Ecstatic dog passes out from overwhelming joy when girl returns from 2 years abroad - Video

© Screen Capture/Youtube
Casey the Schnauzer and her human Rebecca, after two years apart
You have never heard a scream like this, Casey the Schnauzer let out a true scream of joy when her long-lost sibling came home. Rebecca Svetina and her family dog Casey have been pals for about 9 years, although their relationship has often been long distance. When Rebecca was studying to be a communication major at Kent State University, Casey was only a puppy. In between college breaks, Rebecca would return to her parent's house is Murrysville, where her dog was always there to greet her.

As any college student knows, there were a lot of hellos and goodbyes as Rebecca went back and forth to college and then home. But never had Rebecca been gone for so long until she decided to embark on a trip to Slovenia in 2008. On July 23, two years later, Rebecca finally returned home. At which point Casey could not have been happier to see her.

Her family was excited to see her, no doubt, but it's her little doggy that stole the show. Just want until you see the video for yourself!

Comment: They don't call them man's best friend for nothing!

Quenelle - Golden

After being cancelled by Sean Hannity, Russell Brand threatened with arrest for presenting 'The Trews' outside Fox News HQ in New York City

After Fox News cancelled my appearance on 'Hannity' we paid them a visit at their New York Headquarters.

Subscribe Here Now and send links to video news items of topical stories that you'd like me to analyse.

Produced & directed by Gareth Roy. Thanks to Jimi Crayon: @jimimackay
and Urban Nerds: @urban_nerds for our creative services


Giant French robots fight in Beijing

© Reuters/Kim Kyung-Hoon
People watch a mechanical installation named "The Spider" emit water vapor during the Long Ma performance in front of the National Stadium, also known as the Bird's Nest, in Beijing October 17.
In scenes worthy of a Transformers movie, a huge yellow horse-dragon clashes with a tremendous arachnid in downtown Beijing. The robotic show is creating awe in the Chinese capital for the first time ever.

The robot horse-dragon, or Long Ma, is 12 meters high and weighs 45 tons and his rival spider, The Princess, has a 20-meter leg-span and can froth at the mouth.

The show is half combat and half ballet without a strict scenario, though it is based on traditional Chinese mythology. The directors change the scene according to the reaction of the audience. A crew of 100 people includes actors, singers and an orchestra.
Cell Phone

UK woman's 'text from the grave' shock

Text Message
The recipient of the texts thought they were prank messages from friends.
A woman was horrified to receive a text message from her grandmother's phone number - three years after her death.

When Lesley Emerson died in 2011 some of her favourite things were buried with her, including her mobile phone.

Sheri Emerson, of South Shields, said she found comfort in texting her but was stunned to get a reply, saying: "I'm watching over you."

It emerged her grandmother's number had been given to another user who replied, thinking friends were playing pranks.

The network in question, O2, said it had spoken to the family and apologised for any distress caused.

Ms Emerson said that following her grandmother's death, rather than visit her grave at Harton Cemetery in South Shields, she would text small, personal messages as a "way of being close to her".

"I know she's not alive, but it's still going to her," she said.

Canadian girl responds to cyber-bullying with Positive Post-it campaign

© Twitter
Caitlin Prater-Haacke's anti-bullying Post-Its led to the Airdrie city council declaring Oct. 9 as Positive Post-It Day.
An Alberta student is fighting back against bullying using Post-it notes of positivity. Meet Caitlin Prater-Haacke a high school student from Alberta, Canada, who was involved in a bullying incident. A person broke into her locker got on her ipad and posted a status urging her to die. Caitlin's response is incredible, and proves what a strong young woman she is. This video is such an inspiration to anyone who has been the victim of bullying.

Comment: Way to go Caitlin! Small, creative steps make the world a better place for everyone.


English speaking parrot vanishes for four years and returns speaking Spanish

gray african parrot

Grey African parrot vanished from British owner's home in Torrance, California in 2010 before reappearing in the same town
The owner of a parrot that spoke English with a British accent says the bird went missing for four years, only to return speaking Spanish and asking for someone named Larry, a Southern California newspaper reported on Monday.

Darren Chick told the Daily Breeze newspaper that he doesn't know where African grey parrot Nigel has been for four years but that aside from the language switch, the bird is doing fine back at home.

"He's doing perfect," Chick told the paper. "It's really weird, I knew it was him from the minute I saw him."