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Priests to get commission on every person they convert to Catholicism, confirms Vatican

© Waterford Whispers News
The Vatican confirmed what has long been suspected by a number of people: they are paying commission to priests for every person they convert to Catholicism.

These latest measures have been introduced to combat dwindling numbers attending church and an increase in numbers leaving the religion.

"We can't deny that we're in trouble, and that we need new followers. We're not picky," explained Cardinal Damien Lombardi, head of the Catholic Recruitment Network.

"We have incentivised this process, allowing our priests to make a little extra on the side," added Lombardi.

The Vatican was forced to admit its policy as priests are increasingly found knocking door-to-door trying to convince non-Catholics to sign up to the faith.

Heart

Ducklings show the kitten that they are not that defenseless after all


Camera

Time to relax: Amazing photos, unbelievable landscapes on Planet Earth

Happy Earth Day! Every year on April 22, the world celebrates this amazingly diverse planet we call home, focusing on ways to protect it from the often destructive practices of its human inhabitants. While many of these efforts focus on the conservation of Earth's most fragile habitats, we frequently forget just how extreme and alien-like our own planet can be. The photos below showcase Earth's unbelievably varying landscapes and remind us that we often live our lives confined only to a minuscule part of this amazing planet.

Giant's Causeway, Northern Ireland

© Education Images/UIG via Getty Images
This strange landscape was formed around 50 to 60 million years ago. The geometric features are actually basalt columns that fractured into these shapes after a volcanic eruption, though legend has it that they're the remnants of an ancient road built by a giants.

Mr. Potato

Green bites back: Squirrel feasts on eco-friendly car made with plant based plastics


Hungry? A driver claims squirrels started 'eating' his Toyota Aygo - because of eco-friendly plastics
A driver has claimed squirrels 'ate' his new Toyota Aygo after the firm began using eco-friendly plastics to boost its green credentials.

Tony Steeles said his car was repeatedly attacked by the rodents only days after it was delivered.

'The aerial's been chewed off twice, the oxygen sensor's been damaged and various rubber-like trim parts have been chewed and damaged,' he told motoring magazine Auto Express.

'The car's been back for repairs four or five times.'

As no other vehicles parked nearby have been attacked, Mr Steeles, from Croydon, south London, questioned whether Toyota's use of plant-based plastics might be attracting the hungry squirrels.

Cookie

Ten reasons why Victoria Nuland should be seen as Stalin of today

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Maidan's biggest cookie distributor.
10. Both use made up names. Stalin's family name was Jugashvilli, Nuland's ancestor's name was Nudelman. The ancestors of both Nuland and Stalin came from the Russian empire, which probably gave them both the idea that they have a special knowledge of how to handle Russia.

9. Nuland's right hand man happens to be her husband, Robert Kagan. Stalin's right hand man was a fellow communist, named Lazar Kagan(ovich). Kagan co-authored "Project for a New American Century" and he obviously wants to realized his vision for Ukraine by implementing what might be called, "amerikanizatsiia," that is, the process of bringing in the officials from US and other countries to run Ukraine along the American lines. In his turn, Kaganovich was the First Secretary of the Communist Party of the Ukrainian SSR from 1925-1928 and was expected to usher in "New Soviet Century" through the politics of "ukrainizatsiya": creating a new ruling Soviet elite for Ukraine, the elite brought in primarily from other places.

Red Flag

Sarah Palin reverts to incoherent babblings during teleprompter freeze

© c-span
  • Former Alaska governor and tea party darling gave confusing address at the Iowa Freedom Summit, rambling after her teleprompter froze
  • The Republicans' 2008 VP nominee had previously said she was 'seriously interested' in a 2016 presidential bid, but sounded not-ready-for-prime-time
  • Head-scratching lines included: 'The man can only ride you when your back is bent'
  • Called President Obama an 'overgrown little boy, angrily shouted 'Screw the left in Hollywood!' and yelled that jihadis should 'get the hell out!'
Republican firebrand Sarah Palin is rarely at a loss for words but became unmoored on Saturday in Iowa after her teleprompter froze and left her without portions of her prepared speech.

Comment: Facepalm!


Dollars

Printing more pretend money the answer to everything

© Maria Toutoudaki, Getty Images
The European Central bank (ECB) announced today a "rescue plan" for its troubled economy, which will see the financial cartel printing an extra 1.1 trillion in imaginary money - called euros - in a bid to counteract previous over-printing and misappropriations of the same currency.

ECB president Mario Draghi said the decision to print more paper notes with pretend values on them will most definitely eradicate the previous Eurozone problem of too many notes with pretend values on them.

"If we print new notes, then there will be a lot more of them to go around," explained Mr. Draghi.

"I'm pretty sure that this time the money will be evenly distributed to everyone that needs it, and not be hoarded by those who make a living out off of hoarding money, like investment bankers and the like.

"No, sir. The world is a totally different place now altogether," he sincerely added.

Magnify

Florida sheriff's new rug removed for embarrassing typo

© mashable.com
A new rug that greeted visitors to one Florida sheriff's office has been pulled up after it was discovered that the standard phrase "In God We Trust" had been mistakenly rendered as "In Dog We Trust."

The Pinellas County Sheriff's Office rug was removed today after the typo wasspotted--nearly three weeks after the floor covering was received from manufacturer American Floor Mats. The Maryland
© labradorretrieverguide.com
Whoops!
firm will replace the $500 rug with a typo-free model, as first reported by WFTS.

As seen above, the rug features a replica of the sheriff's logo. A second green rug at the Largo headquarters has "God" spelled correctly.

Comment: At least the "o" was in the right place! "Woof!" Dogs everywhere were gratified for the short-lived sentiment. A tail-wagger, that one!


Bacon

New Hampshire lotto releases bacon-scented scratch ticket

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The New Hampshire Lottery announced the release of its first-ever scratch-and-sniff ticket, which is designed to give off the alluring aroma of bacon.

The "I (Heart) Bacon Scratch Ticket," which sells for $1 and offers prizes of up to $1,000, was officially rolled out to stores this month, the lottery announced Monday.

"The (NH) Lottery is focused on developing new and fun ways to engage customers. The I Heart Bacon scratch ticket combines two things people love: the chance to win cash and the wonderful, enticing smell of bacon," Charlie McIntyre, executive director of the New Hampshire Lottery Commission, told WMUR-TV.

Lottery officials said free "I (Heart) Bacon" scratchers will be distributed along with actual slices of bacon Wednesday outside the Verizon Wireless Arena in Manchester, Friday at the Cumberland Farms in Keene, Saturday at Durham Marketplace and Jan. 30 at the Hooksett Welcome Centers.


Question

Comedian Jon Stewart: Who bears responsibility for Charlie Hebdo shooting?

Following an insensitive tweet from Rupert Murdoch about Muslims, Jason Jones, Jessica Williams and Hasan Minhaj condemn those responsible for the Charlie Hebdo attack.


Comment: Islamophobia is on the rise in France and there are reports of violence against minority Muslims after the attacks. This segment is in response to those events. John Stewart has lot of followers:
What the Mainstream Media Can Learn From Jon Stewart

When Hub Brown's students first told him they loved "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart" and sometimes even relied on it for news, he was, as any responsible journalism professor would be, appalled.

Now he's a "Daily Show" convert.

"There are days when I watch 'The Daily Show,' and I kind of chuckle. There are days when I laugh out loud. There are days when I stand up and point to the TV and say, 'You're damn right!'" says Brown, chair of the communications department at Syracuse University's S.I. Newhouse School of Public Communications and an associate professor of broadcast journalism.

Brown, who had dismissed the faux news show as silly riffing, got hooked during the early days of the war in Iraq, when he felt most of the mainstream media were swallowing the administration's spin rather than challenging it. Not "The Daily Show," which had no qualms about second-guessing the nation's leaders. "The stock-in-trade of 'The Daily Show' is hypocrisy, exposing hypocrisy. And nobody else has the guts to do it," Brown says. "They really know how to crystallize an issue on all sides, see the silliness everywhere."
Sometimes, comedy is the only way to convey the truth to a hysterical and fickle population.