NBC's Saturday Night Live took on defense secretary nominee Chuck Hagel's recent confirmation hearing before the Senate Armed Services. In the real-life hearing, Hagel faced a tough round of questions and a heavy focus on his past statements about Israel. In the spoof, he also faces questions and warnings about Israel, albeit much stranger ones.

Check out the sketch below, which didn't air in the TV broadcast of the program, but was posted online by NBC. (Warning: It contains some crude jokes.)

Washington, DC, - With over 8 million people mysteriously disappearing from the US workforce during President Barack Obama's first term, experts are working on a number of theories to explain this riddle, the most commonly mentioned reason being alien abductions occurring throughout the US on an extraordinarily massive scale.

According to a recent Bureau of Labor Statistics report, the number of people disappearing from the US workforce rose from 80.5 million when the president took office in 2009 to the current 89 million, while unemployment has remained steady near 8-9%. In other words, 8.5 million people have simply vanished in a way that can't be explained by the usual retirement or disability trends.

Caffrey, a black Persian cat living in the U.K. has only two legs, both on the right side, and yet the brave, 14-year-old cat soldiers on, making do with his remaining appendages.

According to the Daily Mail, 10 years or so ago, Caffrey was hit by a car. He lost his left hind leg altogether and his left front leg was damaged, but eventually healed. Then, a few months ago, the cat developed a malignant growth on his left front paw.

Mandatory microchipping is a serious erosion of civil liberties, according to dogs.

Dogs believe government plans to microchip them all by 2016 are a step towards a totalitarian state.

Three-year-old Cairn terrier Rocky said: "Cameron is using the whole 'dangerous dogs' thing as a smokescreen. He just wants to know which dogs are members of subversive political groups.

"I can't believe a Western democracy is doing this, it's like North Korea or something.

"Well, if anyone comes near me with a hypodermic and a pair of tweezers, they're getting bitten. You can take my balls, but you can't take my freedom."

Tonik the homeless dog is part poodle, part Shih Tzu and, some are saying, part human.

The dog's soulful eyes, expression, and skull shape have many comparing this scrappy, hard knocks dog to a person. Tonik has gained Internet fame as a result, with media outlets from around the world featuring the canine's furry mug in their coverage.

We couldn't resist too, given Tonik's ultimate rags to hopeful riches story. He's presently awaiting his forever home at the Homeward Bound Animal Welfare Group, Inc., in Mishawaka, Ind.

As his Petfinder entry mentions, "Tonik came to us from a kill shelter in Kentucky and there is a very sweet boy in there who is trying to figure things out and enjoy people. It seems he has not had too much socialization. He is great with other dogs. He is not dangerous, but should not be placed with young children because he will get too overwhelmed."

Thousands watch on Gobbler's Knob in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, awaiting the yearly weather prediction of Phil, the famous groundhog. Many believe that if Punxsutawney Phil sees his shadow on 2 February, winter will last six more weeks. Although if he doesn't see his shadow, then spring will come early, according to the Groundhog Club's Inner Circle.


Source: Reuters

Police believe a woman's attempt to kill a spider may have been behind an explosion at a home in Sydney's north.

Emergency services were called to a house in Kirribilli after an explosion blew out the bathroom and kitchen windows just after 1:00pm (AEDT) today.

A 66-year-old woman told police she was trying to kill a spider when she sprayed insecticide under her washing machine.

Fire investigators believe the spray triggered the explosion.

Manuela lived hidden in a store room for 30 years.

She lived among broken electronic junk and she may have survived by eating termites. No, this isn't the story of a social recluse because Manuela is a turtle discovered by her family more than 30 years after she went missing, according to the Daily Mail.

In 1982, builders conducting repairs on a house in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, that belonged to the Almeida family, left the front door open. The Almeidas could not find the family turtle that day and never saw it again, until this month. After the father, Leonel, died, his wife and children began sorting through his possessions.

In the midst of the 2012 holidays, a clever and tenacious Siberian Husky in London, Ontario gave his fellow four-legged friends the gift of safety and freedom.

13-year-old Kiki had been muzzled by his owners and left in an abandoned moving van along with two cats and two other dogs. Despite having his ability to bark suppressed by the muzzle, he remained determined to find a way to call for help: he honked the vehicle's horn repeatedly until members of the London Police Department arrived.

London Human Society Executive Director Judy Foster told the London Free Press she thinks it's possible Kikki acquired the knowledge that save her by watching humans. "Dogs are very smart; they watch us all the time."

Kiki's desperate plea for help finally caught the attention of a concerned citizen on Monday, December 10. Members of the London Police Department found the moving van in a crowded parking lot with its horn still blaring and Kiki in the driver's seat. Upon investigating the vehicle, the officers discovered two dogs, "Buddy" and "Six Toes," as well as two cats.

Truth to power, from the 2011 stand-up show by American comedian Eddie Griffin, 'You Can Tell 'Em I Said It'.