Don't Panic! Lighten Up!


Printing more pretend money the answer to everything

© Maria Toutoudaki, Getty Images
The European Central bank (ECB) announced today a "rescue plan" for its troubled economy, which will see the financial cartel printing an extra 1.1 trillion in imaginary money - called euros - in a bid to counteract previous over-printing and misappropriations of the same currency.

ECB president Mario Draghi said the decision to print more paper notes with pretend values on them will most definitely eradicate the previous Eurozone problem of too many notes with pretend values on them.

"If we print new notes, then there will be a lot more of them to go around," explained Mr. Draghi.

"I'm pretty sure that this time the money will be evenly distributed to everyone that needs it, and not be hoarded by those who make a living out off of hoarding money, like investment bankers and the like.

"No, sir. The world is a totally different place now altogether," he sincerely added.


Florida sheriff's new rug removed for embarrassing typo

A new rug that greeted visitors to one Florida sheriff's office has been pulled up after it was discovered that the standard phrase "In God We Trust" had been mistakenly rendered as "In Dog We Trust."

The Pinellas County Sheriff's Office rug was removed today after the typo wasspotted--nearly three weeks after the floor covering was received from manufacturer American Floor Mats. The Maryland
firm will replace the $500 rug with a typo-free model, as first reported by WFTS.

As seen above, the rug features a replica of the sheriff's logo. A second green rug at the Largo headquarters has "God" spelled correctly.

Comment: At least the "o" was in the right place! "Woof!" Dogs everywhere were gratified for the short-lived sentiment. A tail-wagger, that one!


New Hampshire lotto releases bacon-scented scratch ticket

The New Hampshire Lottery announced the release of its first-ever scratch-and-sniff ticket, which is designed to give off the alluring aroma of bacon.

The "I (Heart) Bacon Scratch Ticket," which sells for $1 and offers prizes of up to $1,000, was officially rolled out to stores this month, the lottery announced Monday.

"The (NH) Lottery is focused on developing new and fun ways to engage customers. The I Heart Bacon scratch ticket combines two things people love: the chance to win cash and the wonderful, enticing smell of bacon," Charlie McIntyre, executive director of the New Hampshire Lottery Commission, told WMUR-TV.

Lottery officials said free "I (Heart) Bacon" scratchers will be distributed along with actual slices of bacon Wednesday outside the Verizon Wireless Arena in Manchester, Friday at the Cumberland Farms in Keene, Saturday at Durham Marketplace and Jan. 30 at the Hooksett Welcome Centers.


Comedian Jon Stewart: Who bears responsibility for Charlie Hebdo shooting?

Following an insensitive tweet from Rupert Murdoch about Muslims, Jason Jones, Jessica Williams and Hasan Minhaj condemn those responsible for the Charlie Hebdo attack.

Comment: Islamophobia is on the rise in France and there are reports of violence against minority Muslims after the attacks. This segment is in response to those events. John Stewart has lot of followers:
What the Mainstream Media Can Learn From Jon Stewart

When Hub Brown's students first told him they loved "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart" and sometimes even relied on it for news, he was, as any responsible journalism professor would be, appalled.

Now he's a "Daily Show" convert.

"There are days when I watch 'The Daily Show,' and I kind of chuckle. There are days when I laugh out loud. There are days when I stand up and point to the TV and say, 'You're damn right!'" says Brown, chair of the communications department at Syracuse University's S.I. Newhouse School of Public Communications and an associate professor of broadcast journalism.

Brown, who had dismissed the faux news show as silly riffing, got hooked during the early days of the war in Iraq, when he felt most of the mainstream media were swallowing the administration's spin rather than challenging it. Not "The Daily Show," which had no qualms about second-guessing the nation's leaders. "The stock-in-trade of 'The Daily Show' is hypocrisy, exposing hypocrisy. And nobody else has the guts to do it," Brown says. "They really know how to crystallize an issue on all sides, see the silliness everywhere."
Sometimes, comedy is the only way to convey the truth to a hysterical and fickle population.

Cell Phone

E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial trapped in Scottish tree trunk

© Apex / Amblin
Wood you believe it: E.T has been found on Earth
When he phones home, E.T. might be making a trunk call as the beloved alien is spotted deep inside a spooky Scottish tree

Scotland now has a mysterious phenomena to rival the Loch Ness Monster as E.T has been sighted in a tree trunk.

The movie E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial was released by Steven Spielberg in 1982 and surpassed Star Wars to become the highest grossing film of all time.

The lovable alien, known as E.T., entered the hearts of movie-goers around the world - but now he has also entered a tree in Scotland.

Hotel owner Billy Harley, who runs the Uig Hotel on the Isle of Skye, found the amazing image of the wrinkly alien inside the trunk of a tree he was chopping to make firewood.

Black Cat 2

Homeless cat saves abandoned baby in Russia

© RT Ruptly
A baby boy not older than 12 weeks has been found in a box on a staircase in an apartment block in the Russian town of Obninsk. The box was meant for a cat, who - after having found a new soul in misery, warmed up the baby and was worried to let him go.

The baby in the cat box was discovered by one of the neighbors, who had heard what she thought to be loud meowing and rushed to rescue the cat from possible offenders.

© RT Ruptly
The furry feline has been living in the apartment block for three years, fed and petted by its residents. The day when she found an unexpected guest in her box was a freezing one, but the baby was very warm, according to the woman, who first discovered the abandoned boy.

"She has been keeping the baby warm for several hours and meowing to call for help," she told Ruptly video agency.


Australian walker saved from deadly snake bite by Stormtrooper armour

© Facebook/StormingAustralia
Former soldier Scott Loxley in his Stormtrooper costume and a king brown snake

An Australian man who is trekking across the country for charity has been saved from a potentially deadly snake bite - by his Imperial Stormtrooper costume.

Australian media report that Scott Loxley, who has so far raised $40,000 (£24,000) for the Monash children's hospital in Victoria, encountered a King Brown snake on day 277 of his epic 'Storming Australia' walk as he was leaving the small town of Yalboroo in Queensland.

Mr Loxley initially thought the viper was dead and went to walk past it when it began to move and lunged to bite him on the shin.

In video on his Facebook page, he said that he had been saved from the snake's toxic venom by his plastic Stormtrooper armour:
Turns out it wasn't dead; It was a big old King Brown.

And he's lunged at me and bit me in the shin.

- Scot Loxley


Solo Seattle dog a regular bus passenger

A black lab in Seattle has become a familiar face to bus drivers and passengers who have gotten used to the canine taking solo trips on public transport.

Commuters in the Belltown area said they have become accustomed to the sight of 2-year-old Eclipse climbing aboard the bus without human accompaniment and settling into a window seat before getting off at her destination -- the dog park.

"All the bus drivers know her. She sits here just like a person does," bus rider Tiona Rainwater told KOMO-TV. "She makes everybody happy. How could you not love this thing?"

Miles Montgomery, a local radio host tweeted pictures he took of Eclipse when he met the Labrador on the bus.

Black Cat 2

The dog shall not pass!

Cats are laying down the law and showing who the Alpha male really is in this entertaining Dog Shall Not Pass video compilation. These cats have definitely gotten into these dog's heads with a little feline intimidation.


Saudi cleric condemns snowmen as anti-Islamic

A prominent Saudi Arabian cleric has whipped up controversy by issuing a religious ruling forbidding the building of snowmen, described them as anti-Islamic.

Asked on a religious website if it was permissible for fathers to build snowmen for their children after a snowstorm in the country's north, Sheikh Mohammed Saleh al-Munajjid replied: "It is not permitted to make a statue out of snow, even by way of play and fun."

Quoting from Muslim scholars, Sheikh Munajjid argued that to build a snowman was to create an image of a human being, an action considered sinful under the kingdom's strict interpretation of Sunni Islam.