Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Magic Wand

Witch-Doctors Put the Magic in African Team Spirit

Ed Cropley
Reuters
Wed, 02 Jun 2010 11:59 UTC
Lovemore Baloyi wears a makarapa
© Reuters/Siphiwe SibekoLovemore Baloyi, a manager of a makarapa fan helmet factory, wears a makarapa designed with a witch doctor in Wyneburg May 14, 2010.
If Sebenzile Nsukwini's bones are anything to go by, the World Cup is going to pass off without a hitch and hosts South Africa are destined for great things.

"Eish, it is looking very good for South Africa," the 33-year-old Zulu witch-doctor said after casting her eyes over a seemingly random scattering of animal bones and sea shells during a seance in downtown Johannesburg.

"Look, the trouble is far, far away. No bombs," she added, pointing to a polished and highly decorated knuckle-bone lying apart from the mass of trinkets strewn across the concrete floor in the corner of a dingy bus station.
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Mr. Potato

US: Wisconsin man gets probation in diaper theft case

Nick Paulson
Stevens Point Journal
Fri, 04 Jun 2010 09:34 UTC
A 20-year-old Amherst man was sentenced Wednesday to 30 months of probation after being arrested for trying to steal dirty diapers from an Amherst home in September.
Dillon Makuski
© AP Photo/Portage County Sheriff's Dept. via WSAW-TVDillon Makuski in an undated image provided by the Portage County Sheriff's Dept. via WSAW-TV in Wausau, Wisconsin.

Dillon Makuski was convicted of possession of burglary tools after he was detained by a homeowner after entering a home. A Portage County Sheriff's deputy found six dirty diapers in his pockets.
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Smiley

Hacker Posts Hitler Photo on State House Website

Risdel Kasasira
Daily Monitor
Mon, 31 May 2010 02:40 UTC
The official website of State House hacked
© Daily MonitorHacked official website of State House
The official website of State House was last evening pulled down after unknown people hacked into it and posted a picture of the Nazi German dictator Adolf Hitler. The image stayed on the site for more than 24 hours having been posted on Saturday until about 4:00pm on Sunday when the site was finally pulled down.

The hacker claiming to be called Kaka Argentine posted the photo of Hitler with a Nazi Party symbol on his chest on Saturday. The controversial posts, conspicuous on the home page, were posted below the picture of President Museveni greeting the Masaka Municipality MP, John Kawanga during a meeting at Munyonyo Hotel on May 25.

This is not the first time the strangers hijack the government departments' website.
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Smiley

Where ISN'T Wally? 930 Fans Put on Bobble Hats and Glasses to Break World Record


The Daily Mail
Tue, 01 Jun 2010 05:27 UTC
Image
© AlbanpixWorld record attempt: 930 Where's Wally fans donned bobble hats and striped jumpers and gathered in Great Yarmouth, Norfolk
It normally takes patience and good eyesight to spot the hero of the Where's Wally children's books in his red and white striped outfit.

But visitors to a seaside resort had a rather easier job yesterday at Britain's biggest ever gathering of Where's Wally characters.

Instead of struggling to find Wally on the page of a book, it was more a case of trying to work out, 'Where Isn't Wally?'

A total of 930 people of all ages dressed up as the character in his trademark red and white striped shirt, bobble hat and rimmed glasses.

The fans tried to set a new world record for the greatest number of Wally characters in one place by crowding into the town centre at Great Yarmouth, Norfolk.
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Passport

Welcome Back, Mr. Bin Laden! British Airways Magazine Lists Osama Bin Laden as First Class Frequent Flyer


The Daily Mail
Tue, 01 Jun 2010 01:56 UTC
Image
© LHR NewsFrequent flyer: The Bin Laden boarding pass from LHR News
British Airways was embroiled in fresh controversy yesterday after an in-house magazine promoted an iPhone boarding pass service showing a ticket belonging to Osama Bin Laden.

The sample ticket included Bin Laden's frequent flyer number, suggesting he is a regular passenger with the airline.

LHR News - a staff magazine covering Heathrow Airport - carried the image on its front page.

The picture is of a smiling passenger holding the embarrassing ticket up to the camera as a check-in steward looks on.

Worse still, Bin Laden's seat number - 7C - suggests he is in for a comfortable ride in a first class seat.
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Mr. Potato

Woman Sues Google for Bad Directions

Sarah Jacobsson
PC World
Mon, 31 May 2010 07:00 UTC
One day I was using my cell phone's GPS service to find the nearest Target. I was driving down the road when suddenly my cell phone piped up, "Turn right here." I looked to the right. There was no road, just a tree and some grass. I chalked it up to a GPS glitch and turned right at the next corner.

If I had been Lauren Rosenberg, however, I would have turned right at that very moment, hit the tree, suffered some cuts and minor brain damage, and then turned around and sued Verizon for the glitch in its GPS service.

Seriously.

Rosenberg, a Los Angeles California native, is suing Google because Google Maps issued directions that told her to walk down a rural highway. She started walking down the highway--which had no sidewalk or pedestrian paths--and was struck by a car. She is suing Google for her medical expenses ($100,000), as well as punitive damages. She is also suing the driver who struck her, Patrick Harwood of Park City, Utah.
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Mr. Potato

Republicans' new Web site not exactly what they hoped it would be

Dana Milbank
The Washington Post
Wed, 26 May 2010 15:50 UTC
Republicans want to take over the House in the fall, but there's a problem: They don't have an agenda.

So on Tuesday, they set out to resolve that shortcoming. They announced that they would solicit suggestions on the Internet, then have members of the public give the ideas a thumbs-up or a thumbs-down. Call it the "Dancing With the Stars" model of public policy.

Republicans were very pleased with their technological sophistication as they introduced the Web site, America Speaking Out a ceremony at the Newseum. Rep. Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif.), who created the program, said that to get software for the site, "I personally traveled to Washington state and discovered a Microsoft program that helped NASA map the moon."

Using lunar software is appropriate, because the early responses to the Republicans' request for ideas are pretty far out:

"End Child Labor Laws," suggests one helpful participant. "We coddle children too much. They need to spend their youth in the factories."

"How about if Congress actually do thier job and VET or Usurper in Chief, Obama is NOT a Natural Born Citizen in any way," recommends another. "That fake so called birth certificate is useless."

"A 'teacher' told my child in class that dolphins were mammals and not fish!" a third complains. "And the same thing about whales! We need TRADITIONAL VALUES in all areas of education. If it swims in the water, it is a FISH. Period! End of Story."

House Republicans, meet the World Wide Web.
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Star of David

Missing! Jewish Identities -- Cartoon

Eli Valley
Forward
Fri, 28 May 2010 13:18 UTC
Bucky Shvitz
© Eli Valley
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Pumpkin

Canada: Flower-Toting Crook Holds Up Calgary Bank


The Edmonton Journal
Thu, 27 May 2010 15:00 UTC
Police were on the lookout downtown for a bank robber armed not with a gun but a bouquet of roses.

The man entered the RBC in the 200 block of 5th Avenue S.W. around 3 p.m. Wednesday.

He approached the teller and demanded money. After getting some cash, he ran off.

Police said the man is Caucasian, late 40s, five foot seven to five foot nine, and 150 to 165 pounds. He was clean shaven, had glasses, a dark jacket, blue plaid work shirt, blue jeans and running shoes. He was wearing a white tuque with a Canada flag.
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Black Cat

India: Pigeon Held on Suspicion of Spying


The Daily Telegraph
Fri, 28 May 2010 03:15 UTC
Indian police are holding a pigeon under armed guard after it was caught on an alleged spying mission for arch rival and neighbour Pakistan.

The white-coloured bird was found by a local resident in India's Punjab state, which borders Pakistan, and taken to a police station 40km from the capital Amritsar.

The pigeon had a ring around its foot and a Pakistani phone number and address stamped on its body in red ink.

Police officer Ramdas Jagjit Singh Chahal told the Press Trust of India (PTI) news agency that they suspected the pigeon may have landed on Indian soil from Pakistan with a message, although no trace of a note has been found.
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