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Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S
SOTT can exclusively report that the legendary and elusive Penn Guinn was recently spotted in the heart of darkness that is England. Our UK correspondent caught up with him and he was gracious enough to tell us about his experience.
You betcha! Gov. Sarah Palin is set to appear tomorrow night on "Saturday Night Live," the popular entertainment show that has featured Tina Fey's parodies of the Alaska governor's down-home style and colloquialisms.
Moscow - Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin's black labrador dog, Koni, Friday was given a collar that will allow her master to track her movements by satellite.
Putin interrupted a meeting of officials who were discussing the virtues of the Russia's new satellite global positioning system GLONASS to monitor cattle and wild animals.
© REUTERS/RIA Novosti/PoolRussian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin watches his dog Koni that wears a GPS device on its collar in the Novo-Ogaryovo residence outside Moscow, October 17, 2008.
Putin interrupted a meeting of officials who were discussing the virtues of the Russia's new satellite global positioning system GLONASS to monitor cattle and wild animals.
Outer space smells of fried steak, scientists revealed yesterday.
The universe also has an aroma of hot metal and motorbike welding, Nasa experts said.
The universe also has an aroma of hot metal and motorbike welding, Nasa experts said.
Tonight, McCain and Obama talked about Joe the Plumber, and how their respective economic plans would affect him. After hearing about his situation for five minutes, I am fully confident that Joe the Plumber should be considered seriously as a Presidential Candidate.
LINCOLN, Neb. - A judge has thrown out a Nebraska legislator's lawsuit against God, saying the Almighty wasn't properly served due to his unlisted home address. State Sen. Ernie Chambers filed the lawsuit last year seeking a permanent injunction against God.
WASHINGTON - In a nationally televised address to the American people Wednesday night, President Bush called upon every man, woman, and child to spiral uncontrollably downward into complete and utter panic.
© Dana Edelson / APActress Tina Fey told TV Guide she's "done" if John McCain and Sarah Palin win the election.
Tina Fey is generating big laughs and big audiences for "Saturday Night Live" with her impersonation of Gov. Sarah Palin, but the actress hopes it doesn't last.
YES WE CAN'T! WE ARE PUTTING OUR COUNTRY FIRST AND SUSPENDING OUR CAMPAIGN FOR GOOD!
My Friends,
Over the past few days I have come to realize that my campaign for President has devolved into a national disgrace. The negative campaign tactics I have unleashed are dangerously dividing our country while fueling religious and racial hatred along socio-economic lines. In my ruthless attempt to win the Presidency at any cost I have abandoned any principles of decency I once had and am now only a shadow of my former self to everyone who knows me or thought they knew me, or once respected me. Also I have come to realize that my unfair and disgustingly false attacks on Senator Obama's character, which were thinly disguised attempts to link him and his wife Michelle to Muslim terrorists, have been the last thing anyone who claims to be putting "Country First" would do. And worse, I may have even placed him and his family in danger from the radical and dangerous extremists who now inhabit and infect the base of my party - a group I once denounced but decided I needed to vigorously cultivate by turning myself into a "flip-flopper" in order to win this election. I encourage my fellow Senators to file ethics charges against me for having done something so disgraceful like this.
Over the past few days I have come to realize that my campaign for President has devolved into a national disgrace. The negative campaign tactics I have unleashed are dangerously dividing our country while fueling religious and racial hatred along socio-economic lines. In my ruthless attempt to win the Presidency at any cost I have abandoned any principles of decency I once had and am now only a shadow of my former self to everyone who knows me or thought they knew me, or once respected me. Also I have come to realize that my unfair and disgustingly false attacks on Senator Obama's character, which were thinly disguised attempts to link him and his wife Michelle to Muslim terrorists, have been the last thing anyone who claims to be putting "Country First" would do. And worse, I may have even placed him and his family in danger from the radical and dangerous extremists who now inhabit and infect the base of my party - a group I once denounced but decided I needed to vigorously cultivate by turning myself into a "flip-flopper" in order to win this election. I encourage my fellow Senators to file ethics charges against me for having done something so disgraceful like this.
Canoepkins? Pumpyaks?
Comment: Robyn Crane found a creative way to spell out some truths of the GOP ticket and their fascist campaign. Let's not forget though that - once more- these are faux elections.